[Alffe]

I wonder if tied knows that she made me laugh, think, and wonder a lot!

I wonder why nothing ever grew from my compost pile but it did make great soil

I wonder if I turned it over too much

I wonder if I should have put more garbage in it instead of egg shells, coffee grains, banana peels, leaves paper and water.

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by Alffe

I wonder if tied knows that she made me laugh, think, and wonder a lot!

I wonder why nothing ever grew from my compost pile but it did make great soil

I wonder if I turned it over too much

I wonder if I should have put more garbage in it instead of egg shells, coffee grains, banana peels, leaves paper and water.

It was something I loved to do
It my parents house
I wonder if the yard is still feeding the owners

It was tedious work
But soooo relaxing
In the early morning when the dew
atop the leaves
Wonder if the rows of roses
Surrounding the whole back yard
are still alive

Remembering weeding to music
Reaping the rewards of the
Food it delivered
All vegetables the peach tree my father planted
The wine grapes
Wonder if any of that still lives

My children had good times
As did I
After divorcing I rented the first floor
And we lived there for 12 years
Wonder if my sister know how helpful
It was to watch them as I worked nights

Wonder if I can say
Thanks for the GOOD
Memories

[Alffe]

I wonder if Eva knows how much I enjoyed reading her memories

I wonder what key I pressed to make this type slant...

I wonder when our tree man will finally come to dismantal and haul away our hot tub....

I wonder when he'll pick up all the logs in the yard....

I wonder when Mr.Alffe will tackle his man cave...our house will never sell looking like that!!

I wonder when I can improve my attitude about moving....

I wonder why the birds are fighting...oh wait, I know.

[FeelinGoofy]

I wonder where Alffe is moving to????

I wonder about the unfairness of insurance companies.

I wonder at how excited I am that we get to go hear my son sing Easter Sunday morning. He was asked to be a guest singer at a church in OKC, and they are paying him!!!!

I wonder if i can leave hugs and prayers for my friends here.

[eva5667faliure]

It is thirty six years today my father killed himself
in or second family ford white station wagon

Wondering what is up in the afterlife

Wondering if any regrets

Wondering if he knows I am not okay with what he stole from me
when I was a little girl

Wondering what my mother is thinking

Wondering g if my sisters are alright today

Wondering why it had to happen around the block from our home

Wondering if my uncle is thinking of him and him not taking it seriously because he cried wolf so many times

Wondering if he felt I was ready to confront him with what he did to me

Wondering how a parent can look at their children
CHILDREN and abuse them and strip me of my
natural process to womanhood

Wonder what happened to him to have become that monster

Wonder why my mother turned her head the other way

Wonder why my mother still wants a relationship with me in
secret

Wondering what ever happened to the note

Wondering if she kept it

Wondering what was going through his mind

Wondering what he looked like when he was found by municipal
workers collecting garbage

Wondering what is going on with my boy
He cut his ties with me
Have no clue why
But was born on this day
His birthday

Wondering how things got to where they are now

Wonder if he know I am done trying to keep us together as a family

Wondering if to much time goes by
If I will want them to even bother
One just gets used to the way it is
I have no control over him
Never did

Wonder if my lineage will die out

Wonder if I can hang on long enough to
see things work out with everyone

Wondering if I will ever experience
Love
For a partner in my life in the end
to be happy with

Wondering if my father regrets any of it

Wondering what devestation has come to this family
Over and over and over again

Wondering if I will ever meet him again

Still wonder
Why

[Alffe]

I wonder if I can leave eva a hug... Some anniversary dates are the pitts!

[OhKay]

Wondering if anyone would mind if I can respond without all the "wondering"?

I often wonder how my family members are doing or what they are thinking of on the anniversaries of family members' deaths or on their birthdays. These occasions stir up memories- good and bad. A suicide is much worse. One reason is the lack of closure, and you have many unresolved issues with your father

I can't imagine how it must feel to have to live with the conflicted feelings you must have about your father and his suicide… even after 36 years. I understand your mother had a difficult life, but it must be so hard to make peace with the decisions she made and have any kind of relationship with her

I am thinking of you, and hoping you are doing okay dealing with the memories surrounding this life event

I'm so sorry that you're still struggling with issues with your children. I don't know the specifics, or the extent of the problems, but it seems to me like you love them and really want them to be part of your life. You can close the door part way because their behavior right now is hurtful and you need to protect yourself, but leave it open a crack so they have an opening to get back in when the timing is right

I wonder if you realize you are still young Eva…
I wonder if you know there is still time for change

I wonder if you know I am hoping for good things for you because you are due