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01-06-2016, 08:51 AM | #1 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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http://brightside.me/article/not-eve...g-wrong-55105/
great article I stole from Bizi's home page on FB. Thanks!
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01-06-2016, 10:18 AM | #2 | |||
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Elder
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Thank you for that article Alffe, it was a good one
In general, I try to remember that it's in our nature to try to reassure one another during difficult times, but most people just don't know what to say during these uncomfortable situations so they say a lot of stupid ****. "Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried." Great quote! Acceptance is the final stage of the grieving process- people will get there in their own time and in their own way. Empty platitudes do more harm than good sometimes. I know that in the past some well-meaning comments made to me about MS have left me with the impression that my suffering is trivial, and I've taken it to heart even though I know it's not true. I've also endured a good deal of bullying… I've dealt with some of my family members pretty much shaming me for not having the same positive attitude about my MS as when I was first diagnosed… before it started taking things away. It's an ongoing disease process, so it's an ongoing grieving process as well. But it's something I mainly accept. But as the gentleman in the article writes, even though you learn to accept adversity and grow, it can still harden you. I know it's hardened me. |
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01-06-2016, 12:46 PM | #3 | |||
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Senior Member
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" But as the gentleman in the article writes, even though you learn to accept adversity and grow, it can still harden you. I know it's hardened me "
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Enemies ..... Don't see them as bad. See them as broken. |
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01-06-2016, 12:48 PM | #4 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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OhKay, we lost a wonderful niece to MS so I'm familiar with your ongoing losses...hers was "galloping" ms and we lost her much too soon.
Acceptance takes as long as it takes...I struggled for years with Michaels poor choice before I was able to forgive him and leave the anger behind. His son, a grown man now, refuses to talk about it and if I want to have him and his family in my life, I have to "obey" his rules. It breaks my heart because I could help him but he won't let me. People cannot help you if they don't know how you feel. Talking is key.
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01-06-2016, 12:49 PM | #5 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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Quote:
In many ways I think "hardening" can be a good thing....it made me less vulnerable.
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01-09-2016, 08:05 AM | #6 | |||
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Elder
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Quote:
I'm so sorry about the loss of your son and niece I can't imagine the pain you went through when you lost your son... I wish you could talk to your grandson about the loss of your son. It would benefit you both. But he grieves in his own way, and has chosen silence as his protective mechanism. His father's loss has hardened him, too. I'm glad that you are able to have a relationship with your him even if that mean obeying his rules, and knowing that he won't accept the help he needs. It must be painful. |
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01-10-2016, 10:39 AM | #7 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Feel talk talk not pounding away at the subject
Having to deal with a note left behind Just for turd and giggles Blame to the very end Asking for respect What this man did No child should have her natural process into womenhood destroyed And a mother who turned her head And even now forgiving him is with the only logical assessment that my experience be He was not well A man who loved his mother with such deep emotions This is the story told to us his depression always alive in our home It dictated everything All this I can say with no doubt at a very early age I at two have memory I had my tonsils taken out at two My mother amazed I was describing many of what I remembered Even the bubble of snot that just grew the harder I cried watching her leave I will never forget I believe I have forgiven He was an ill man young man, young boy, even infancy My point is this We the injured the victim who did not have a voice becaus I was a baby little girl, young lady and womanhood with that wounded child that never had a chance There are so many of us out there As I will soon be fifty five A divorced young mother of four A grandmother of one A good person who has no control other than myself and what comes out of my mouth One thing for certain There have been situations that have happened in MY life Can only be explained by my faith that no other way could the things that have happened is awesome chilling and no doubt a presence of utter calm go through me is enough for this cookie He dressed to the to kill In his best suit I was told by my forty six year old sister who was nine years at the time I had left my home by then He leaves a note calling us "Bitches" What a female dog is called This was the man I was suppose to fall in love with first Never happened Made mistakes in my choices in men And recognized I had a job to do RAISE MY CHILDREN and I did And in all my adversities I am who I AM LOVE me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 01-10-2016 at 11:16 AM. |
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01-10-2016, 12:15 PM | #8 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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You are not a victim dear Eva , you are a survivor !! Hugs
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01-10-2016, 05:40 PM | #9 | |||
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Senior Member
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Quote:
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01-11-2016, 07:03 AM | #10 | |||
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Elder
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So much pain Eva, but beautifully said.
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