It should be a combination of yourself, your Dad and his Mental Health Care Team that decides where, and what, support he needs. You are clearly going above and beyond in the most difficult of circumstances - all for love.

I do think it a very good idea that you approach your Dad's Psychiatrist for advice about Therapy for yourself. He may also know of Care Schemes whereby you could get a few hours respite for yourself.

Whatever has happened, or happens in the future, please do not lay guilt upon yourself for your actions or any inactions. No-one can compel another to act in any way other than how they choose to.

Dave.

Thank you Dave. I know now that this wasn't my fault. I am trying to move forward with my dad's care, not move him backwards. He is so wonderful and has so much to live for. I cant make him see that though. He has to see that for himself. I am feeling much better today and working on getting in contact with his outpatient psychiatrist (the psychiatrist never calls back for whatever reason)

I just read that you are a full time college student.
wow! that is alot on your shoulders!!!!!
please take care.
bizi

@bizi yes! I'm working on my sophomore year of college. The new semester starts next week. I love college. Following in my dads foot steps to be a teacher. College is easy for me. I have a full grant to pay for everything. How many people can say that? Despite everything, college is the one thing I do for myself. I really enjoy it.

That is awesome!
bizi

It is easy for others to say what you should do, or what they would do, if they were in your position, but they are not his primary care givers, and do not spend enough time with him to be qualified to make those decisions.

You obviously have a high level of respect for your father and a you believe it's in his best interests to be in the community and to live with family. In most cases that is the best option, unless mh professionals tell you otherwise.

Is it possible to move your father to a different outpatient psychiatrist? I think it's important to have someone who will be more responsive to your concerns. You could use that support.

I would just like to say this to a very loving daughter
You are on your life's journey with such adversities and decisions
to make
You are NOT alone
This is not your fight
You make the choices right for you
Ask for help if you need it
Dealing with health professionals is a task
No need to go it alone
YOU ARE A LOVING DAUGHTER
make no mistake
Your father now recognizing he may need to sober up first and foremost is a great thing
Please know you have only a limited amount of control
As dear Alffe put it
It is out of your hands
Now you may want to see if attending a open meeting with him
Or meetings for someone such as yourself for possible codependency
what happens when we want to try and help not to see a loved one suffer and not realize it is happening to you also
Your strength I pray not hindered by the task you have taken on for love of school a daughter who also needs mommy and grandpa
You need to fulfill your dream and be that teacher you already are
Grandpa is sick right now in obvious many areas all coming to a head
I too have a daughter Saraeve who in the year 2003 April suffered her first grandmaul seizure and many sad depressing year for this now country traveling POET at thirty four
Getting ready for "the woman of the world event" will be held in New York my muse
Her failed brain surgery occipital lobe partial removal
Hence the loss of eye sight
No erratication of seizure
I had no clue she tried to commit suicide taking her meds and drank them down with alcohol
She survived but I could not fix what was wrong
I have had my own bouts
It is not my children's responsibility to make it their job to
take care of my mental state
I needed help in my lifetime
Many a times
Not ashamed to say so
I have taken what I needed and left the rest behind
My children have lives of their own to live
A difficult road for all four of my children
You and your love for dad is nowhere to be measured
You are a wonderful daughter who has a daughter herself
And I am privileged they want me in their lives
There are many types of people
In the sibling world
I believe you are the oldest of the three of you
I can say most times first born children are much different then those born in a different order
Your shoulders are broad
Please take this from a place of concern for a fellow human being
You will reach a threshold in everything you do in life
This is something you need help with

And you can
Ask for that help that is sometimes not offered
In college is there not a place you can turn to professional
persons who may need a shoulder to lean on
I am almost certain there is some form of help
Reach out as you do here
Continue to share
Let the bricks of helping someone you love and know YOU nor anyone else can stop him
But both you and him can start by attending an AA Meeting to get sober and you can accompany him to "open" meetings
Something you can do together
And then meetings for yourself for codependency you may not even see it
It wouldn't hurt
I wish you some relief of this terrible suffering your dad and you are in
My money is on YOU
stay in school
NEVER let anything allow you to waiver from your BLISS
Good luck to a very special individual
May you all come together during his road to sobriety
It will get bumpy.
But you found US
PEACE
Love
Me

As bizi says, that IS awesome

Dave.

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm going to visit dad later today at the hospital. I have talked to him every day since they moved him to the behavioral health floor, but haven't actually seen him since Monday. I will keep everyone posted on his progress. He is supposed to be asking his inpatient psychiatrist if we can have a family meeting with the doctor before he is released. This is something I have asked for as I need to feel comfortable having him here, and I have some questions. Today will be a good day.

Great news everyone! Dad is being released from the hospital tomorrow. And we have a family meeting with the psychiatrist before he comes home!! everything is looking up now