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07-11-2016, 06:30 AM | #1 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I almost lost my child
She shot herself up with all her insulin In the hospital can't get through to anybody Spoke with nurse Rob She was right there Wants me there How in heavens name can I do that Can somone please tell me what the F*** to do All I can do is pray What the F*** else do I do I am watching my family die Each one slowly What Heavenly Father What
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someone who cares eva |
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07-11-2016, 06:52 AM | #2 | |||
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Elder
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Words can not express how sorry I am to hear this news this morning, Eva. I wish I could embrace you for real, but all I can offer you is:
I have only experienced this situation from the other side. Even though I've had some discussion about what I did with my family, I'll never truly know the extent of the damage I did… what I put them through. But from this prospective, I can tell you that your daughter must have been very ill and/or desperate to have done what she did, and I'm sorry that she was hurting so badly that things got that point. I can understand how hard this must be for you, especially since your family dynamics are so complicated, and it's common for people to be confused as to how to handle a suicide attempt. It must be overwhelming If you are strong enough to be there for your daughter, that is my advice, since she does want you there. Prayer may help give you that strength. I hope that you will seek comfort and advice from others who are close to you (maybe your sister?) right now to help you get through this. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers All my love, Kay |
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07-11-2016, 07:24 AM | #3 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I am so sorry, kay said it well.
Be there for her... let her talk, encourage therapy. She will probably be put on meds if she is not already on them. May go to a psych ward for a while or intensive out patient therapy as she needs professional intervention. Feeling helpless is quite a normal response I think. I am sorry that your family is going thru this. How terrible... ((((HUGS)))) bizi
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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07-11-2016, 04:00 PM | #4 | ||
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Member
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Hello eva: The Skeezyks has made a couple of attempts of his own previously. Yes, as bizi mentioned, it's likely your daughter will be transferred to a psychiatric ward once she is medically stable. The thing I want to mention here is that, both times I was hospitalized following suicide attempts, when I was discharged there was little done to ensure I received ongoing treatment following my release. And pretty-much what little was done was all wrong. As a result, I simply ended up going home & sitting.
So, from my perspective, the important thing here (in addition to being there for her now) is for you to take an active role in seeing to it that there is an appropriate aftercare plan in place for your daughter once she is released from the hospital, whether it is directly from a medical unit or from a psych ward. This will help to minimize the risk that this very sad event will recur. It can also be of benefit to you. It can give you something to channel your grief into. Please do also keep in mind that this is taking an emotional toll on you as well. You may also want to reach out for some support in real life whether it be to a trusted family member or friend or possibly a mental health therapist. I wish you both well... |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (07-11-2016), DMACK (07-11-2016), eva5667faliure (07-13-2016), OhKay (07-12-2016), PamelaJune (07-11-2016) |
07-11-2016, 05:25 PM | #5 | |||
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Senior Member
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Dear Eva
This is very sad news....... Some great advice has been put in print already and in a positive way The only thing I will add is....don't seek answers to your questions for some time...let them come without you asking Play a mothers role...be there..offer a shoulder to cry on...and develop a good listening ear. We all have a story in life...in time I hope your daughter tells you hers.... When we hear e persons story we can decipher the mindset of that person...and then we can either adapt to or influence a persons life choices.. You have a huge heart Eva.....follow it. David
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07-12-2016, 06:18 AM | #6 | |||
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Elder
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Thank you for bringing up aftercare guys. It's a very important issue.
I don't think I would be as ****ed up as I am now if I stayed in the hospital longer after my s/s attempt (I checked out AMA) and received treatment some time in the month after I left (I had insurance issues). I'm sorry for all you've had to go through Skeezyks. It sounds like you have been through an awful lot Thinking of you and your daughter today Eva |
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07-12-2016, 09:18 AM | #7 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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It was a tough day yesterday
Many things happened It all started when I was put on hold for 16:22 seconds on the phone She was still in the ER First nurse to attend to care for my child Nurse Rob when got that phone call At 1:30 in the morning I do not have to tell anyone what that feels like All of her insulin she would have been successful the doctor said if just less then a half hour before she went to the hospital Spoke to Rob again in the morning she was stable As the day went on I had the worse experience of my life wit nurse Cathy Who brushed me off a quick as quick is I pulled a dress over my head Put the food that was made for my two at home in containers and shot over to the hospital in a hop skip and a jump As they ate in the car I rushed my head ready to explode I was so angry Each of you special wonderful souls If I haven't said it a hundred times Here goes That phone call Has been a fear since she has left when younger This is my fear with Corissa also My child distraught about life and not able to stay clean is weighing heavy on her heart She sees no hope Until mommy came down and took care of business And I mean business Told by this woman who in my opinion had no business being in the field she was in was just the pushing that button I not only got police escort along with security to see my child But to speak with the attending supervisor about the utter disregard to a patients my daughter I understand the law but to give me just the vitals Is she alive or dead Is she breathing or not Do they even know I was the one who called the hospital to let them know what she did they had no clue what was wrong until I called And then to be ignored by a nurse who could have spent sixty second with me hung up She is stable They gave her a bed real quick Was in the ER for almost 48hours And there were beds available I am floored at the health care provided by some very unprofessional manner And a system that NEEDS REVAMPING my father shot and kill himself around the block from our home at the age of forty seven that was thirty six years ago I was nineteen already lef my home Because of him I have been in that dark place for about two years not to long ago not to Lang ago All my children tried to off themselves at one time or another And each time one falls into that abyss I try so hard to listen to the same difference Excuses changed over and over again I cannot do anything but let them know I live them I would be broken if they succeeded We would be broken as a family Each of my children brilliant in their own right Brilliant that is sometimes a curse My child who was almost successful Has everything to live for This is not about mommy It is mommy they call out for when they don't want to die She is distraught in her early thirties was problematic in her behavior while getting ready to enter high school A talented natural When she was born attracted attention And took that with her throughout her live And lost sight about herself Hung out with true thugs and drugs Guns violence This is what her twenties was all about Helpless and powerless and was getting myself the help needed AA my medicine Living life on life terms Not an easy thing to do Especially in today's world I care very much about getting the WORD OUT THERE IT IS POSSIBLE ONE CAN LIVE SOBER it is the ugly things one must work through And FORGIVE THEMSELVES THEY MUST FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND WANT TO LIVE I know I'm living it Oh how many times just for a brief moment The thought comes into my mind and think No more anything Just over But is it really How do we know I will always be the rock of this family When she seen me come around the curtain She was my baby all over again Today she is in a room upstairs I want to express how very sad I am how MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT ADDRESSED I understand how difficult this area is for many doctors We really really really need to look at society and see the mental BOILING POT THAT IS GROWING OUT THERE IN THE WORLD LOOK AT ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY TO SUCH YOUNG CHILDREN FOR SOME WHO ARE TAUNTED by cruel children in school For example Ones ears may need pinning back For the taunting has taken away from that child And the parents don't get it or see it as a potential start of a difficult road of loving oneself You HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF IT IS A MUST it is the backbone of our strength It is shown on different firms Some soft some brutally honest I will never give up on my babies And will alway be in there lives for as long as they want me in it I have come to learn my eldest has become a regular at a bar A place where poetry is read and shared She is on epileptic meds And drinking a absolute NO NO My son drinks My third child who is in the hospital drinks My youngest has entertained it to the point of blackout point All tried to kill themselves All stemming from a way they think they cannot change the pain that has built throught their lives The turn to numb it all I know what alcohol does It is my drug of choice Not today Not today I have chosen to go through this day Blessed by Heavenly Father and make it till I put my head down to retire for another day if Heavenly Father has me wake A choice Never easy Never Sometimes all I can say is Heavenly Father the pain this family suffers Will I get to see them get it without hurting themselves MENTAL DISEASE prevelent in the world We have heads of countries With young ones with the power to destroy the ENTIRE WORLD some haven't reached puberty and rule their country I think my point is understood I'm not talking politics Although it is ALL IN THE POLITICIANS HANDS TO GET TO THE ROOT OF MENTAL DISEASE LOOK IT IS REAL it can't get anymore real then to want to kill oneself And to think it will go away It will NEVER GO AWAY it is just like any other kind of addiction out of control How can this country no see what role they have in it all And not do anything about it My mother a perfect example Worried when we were young in the seventies that we were going to be drug addicts He was right Yet the one thing my mother did not see Is she became a physican induced addict who is out of control Was receptive to hearing "IT" Did not want to believe it She has had the trial of the "NEURO STIMULSTOR" It worked She is vacationing in her country Hungary and then to Italy where her exhusband who is with her will spend time with his family Upon her return She will resume the "NEURO STIM" possibility Hers began with chronic pain But that is not the point Suicide and any cry out I take seriously Very seriously The hospitals need to get a better handle on the very young to the elderly and all those inbetween Are crying out by acting out They are released back into the world Like my child a PCP user And that magical liquid that helps it along LEGALIZED ALCOHOL NOT LOOKED AT AS THE most dangerous drug out there I cannot do anything but call upon the angels Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost to be in their hearts and minds That they find that glimmer To look for it What is the medical community doing Sitting on their hands and look the other way Let me not forget the very few who DO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY I THANK BUT I DO NOT TRUST THEM OVERSEEING HER ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE IS A ADULT AND IS EASILY LET GO oh I forgot insurance If you don't have it you ARE not treated EQUAL shame For all the outpouring of well wishes for my family any and all prayers are ALWAYS welcomed I will call the director of the hospital and give recognition to those who helped my child And to bring to their attention of the few who hurt the system I thank you from the deepest place in my heart To those who suffer as my children My family My sisters Parents And the future of this world I pray change happen sooner then later What is going on is this country right NOW many who hate are ill mentally Where is the love Can we all agree to this With a heavy heart Love Me I am so lucky to have you all to hear me and be at my side and help when I cannot help them anymore when I just don't know what to do It hurts so deep and hard
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (07-12-2016), bizi (07-12-2016), DMACK (07-13-2016), ger715 (07-12-2016), OhKay (07-13-2016), PamelaJune (07-12-2016), PurpleFoot721 (08-28-2016), Skeezyks (07-12-2016) |
07-13-2016, 07:46 AM | #8 | |||
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Elder
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Dear Eva,
I know that you still carry a lot of guilt because you abused alcohol when your children were young, and because addiction runs in families because of learned behavior and genetics… Both of my parents were alcoholics, but I want you to know that that was not a factor in my suicide attempt (although my father's behavior at the time was). I do not blame my parents' alcoholism at all for my suicide attempt. Some people are predisposed to be addicts, but ultimately we are responsible for our own behavior. In my case, the main reason I attempted s/s was because of mental illness. Please try your best not to blame yourself. You are right: There is an overwhelming need for more and better mental healthcare, as well as treatment for addiction in this country. Unfortunately, individuals need to seek treatment themselves- whatever resources are out there, unless they are committed because they are a threat to themselves or others, or are arrested and required to undergo drug treatment. It is a hard thing to learn how to love oneself. Certainly, not everyone gets there. We do the best we can, and hopefully reach out for help when we need it. If we can't do that, hopefully others will reach out to us, and we can accept the help that is offered. Since your daughter's s/s attempt, you seem to be reliving your father's suicide and remembering his abuse, and your mother's denial. You must be going through an immensely difficult time because of that… I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. If you are currently seeing any mental health professionals I urge you to reach out to them now. Take advantage of any services that a social worker may offer or suggest to you. I am so sorry that you had such a terrible experience with the hospital staff, and that the delay of information about your daughter's condition caused you more distress. You are right in that some people should not be nurses or working elsewhere in the medical profession. I came to the same conclusion working in hospitals myself. I'm glad that you have the strength to be there for your daughter. She needs you now. You are a good mother, Eva. Just keep loving her, and that will help you both get through this. I'll pray for the strength for you both to get through this |
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07-13-2016, 08:02 AM | #9 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
It has been quite some time that I have had thoughts about my father and his suicide attempt When I was a young teenager Sixteen I tried to starve myself to death I wrote briefly about it I remember my sister trying to get me to eat bottled pickles my parents made from the basement My young life has very little happy memories Under the age if five While still living in South Africa Watching my father beat and rape my mother Many beatings I got one so bad and was dragged up more then ten steps and my foot couldn't grab a step Many time my mother turned her head when my father would act up It was a volatile relationship I married for all the wrong reasons divorced very young twenty four with my then three babies Never to be that involved with anybody As I seen and had enough and did not want anybody involved in our lives I still to this day have only come across one man who gets me and can be honest how men are really are much of it their make up however a happy childhood I am sure would have been a better place Understanding loving parents It was not something my mother wanted My father wanted to have children Only to have a punching bag And got off watching his children myself and my middle sister naked Never got to my youngest sister Threatened with guns and horrible stuff Not the point I never trusted anybody to be worthy enough to have me or my children I tried to protect them from some horrible things I do not blame myself Have gone through many therapist To my phycotheripist I just fired after seven years with hi Biweekly Not worth going into I trust my gut It NEVER failed me Always being honest with my babies Always Secrets are not necessarily a good thing You get what I mean I don't believe in them They are lies Just hidden I wanted not for anybody to hurt my babies And then there was me I became a alcoholic went out of control for about ten years The last five of them is when I lost my privileges There is a huge history about addiction and depression in my family and culture I am a Hungarian My father Klee himself Left a note To the end called us all whores A racist Hitler follower I the black sheep Hated my father Then my children see me become that monster I mentally screwed them up I hit them when I was angry with them And they were my babies I asked them to forgive me for my terrible ways when I was that drunk I love them to death They all know that I entered AA in 1990 and took it seriously in 1992 My children bright and gifted had me for their mom and I tried to apoligize and found they used that to blame me for their addictions I know about all the reasons on can become a addict with whatever drug drink,food,cleaning,hoarding,reading,social media,sex and the list goes on Whenever it interferes with ones life where they are consumed with it ITS A PROBLEM I understood this before becoming a teenager A rebel Someone who kept it honest and real and my father hated that My mother was all about herself On the outside we were that perfect well groomed family My mother loved money My fathe worked like a horse This is what defined him A animal hunter Sportsman Wanted boys Had three girls My mother aborted the fourth baby her first child with anothe husband died within a few weeks I tried to protect my sisters Turns out when confronting my mother in a drunken state She didn't believe what I was telling her in front of her leering new husbands eyes on my then young Saraeve All hell broke loose Yes there are many many many things that happened But I made it Through it all leaving at seventeen and never looking back I am still alive and here Trying to get it right Keeping it always real I am not afraid of the truth However bad it might be for others I choose to keep it real at a very early age A rebel In my fathers face I would be When I didn't peel a potato correctly For him that meant you should be able to see through the peel There isn't a day when I touch a potato I don't have horrible memories I'm okay today Worked through very hard things The most important To be the best mother and grand mother I can be They mean everything to me I was blessed Because I wanted to be a mommy a really good mommy But I hurt them without seeing it Blessed today to be living a sober life My choice of drug is ALCOHOL My daughter has many things she needs to work through She was three months old when I split with their father And was an absent one at that Just fixed on harassing me for the next ten years after I divorced him He lost sight of his children when fixed on his sick obsession on me My life was in danger many times My kids remember some stuff And the weird thing is I did not want my kids to have a life lik I did We it was a tough road raising them and with the help of my Heavenly Father and those who were and are still there for me in AA Living a sober life was when things changed for the better Making amends the hardest thingi had to do For my children And now my children with their mom sober for most of their lives Make no mistake damage was done forever lasting by me They understand my soberiety gave me my life back as one should be living the simple principals that are freely offered It works if you work it It really works and is a beautiful thing to see one get sober I have children all dabbled with drugs and now drink and think it is t a problem I most certainly is They understood there is a predisposition already in them I taught them never to lie It is not the kind of person who lives happiness knowing they live a honest life making an honest living and pray the haven't any hangovers from their young life Thank you Heavenly Father for keeping them safe when in my care I am a vocal mom I talk and talk and keep the lines of commucation as open as possible They know there is only a limit to what I have to offer They are not doing very well in the mind altering ways Each their very own beautiful selves have problems I pray they work on and out of their lives I will never abandon them But I cannot be the one to make it happen I pray for all of us It is in the family big time And I'm trying to keep it together It is tough When I am the go to person for everything I need to back up and watch them handle life It is a tough life for us it wasn't our fault So many factors Predisposition Enveriomental The schools are in shambles Trying to get my old boss the mayor of the town I grew up in forty six years Trying to get her the best to offer her the new schools that just went up throughout the town Her mom still in the hospital Anyway This family has the work cut out for them And I will never give up on them And their minds need help There hearts in pain as they have that monkey on their backs You concerns right on point This is where I find I get the real stuff Not what my doctor would think Loved to try all the meds that put me in a very dark place And dismiss my real concerns Getting to a good place so I can live my life He kept me on for the bucks I wrote briefly about it He did not like me calling him on his game Yet it was the truth Need to power up the iPod Have more to add be back in a bit My daughter distraught over many things including not being able to be there for her child It has been a rocky road from the very beginning Seventh grade She is thirty Have had her to every kind of help private and others that could help She has been to a long term rehab to short term Went to every avenue and revisited them when I still had control Once she turned eighteen it was a different kind of problem I cannot even begin to start It never stops It has got to come from them They have to make it happen I have this place left in my life to come to when I have something going on and need to vent or feed back I have come to meet very special persons here I cannot do anything but hang on to hope It is the only thing I have left HOP AND A PRAYER That they will find their way There are so many things that has happened throught this life of mine And to watch your child crumble before you and know you cannot do anything about it Powerless over anybody period I wake as Heavenly Father has me wake And I give my very best I lean on my faith My fellowship And those who have been there Many are around for support You concerns and kindness taken to heart I hear what you are expressing Thank you for listening Bless you and ALL who care about me and my family Love Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 07-13-2016 at 10:54 AM. |
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07-13-2016, 08:11 AM | #10 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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Eva you did the right thing in rushing to the hospital. We should always trust our instincts and you did just that ! I call that mama cat stuff . And the guilt that we feel regarding our children's activities also goes with the territory .
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers . 💕
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (07-13-2016), DMACK (07-13-2016), eva5667faliure (07-13-2016), OhKay (07-15-2016), PurpleFoot721 (08-28-2016) |
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