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Old 11-13-2016, 08:36 AM   #11
tied
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Dmack (David). I too am having problems with this modern life. I just went through an election that makes me fearful for the whole world, with the immediate question, which country will let me live there in peace? While discussing what would happen next in a hate and war torn world my Pop decided to move out and live in an assisted living center. Meanwhile, back at my health, I am in miserable pain and depression, and wonder how long I will live in my condition. Pop leaving feels like both an abandonment and more work to have to drive to see him after returning from my demanding job. And through all this I am trying to concentrate on studying to pass the test for my professional licensure. I woke up at 5am after a nightmare where I had to do all the work while family refused to help but instead made more work for me because I had to redo their shambles of helping me. My husband was dazed and nonresponsive and I was sure something was seriously wrong, but still I snapped ar him that he either needed to help or get some sleep, but I could not have him around if he was going to just stare confused at me. I am on one of my rare vacations but I can't concentrate on my studies and have a very hard time to hide my tears all day from Pop.

You see David, because you vented you got one from me. I both thank you and apologize for that.

Because of my many diagnoses I can't take antidepressants, so I am supposed to do talk therapy. I wonder when I would have time to sleep if I had to add that to my grueling schedule.

I have some very painful nodules in my lungs. Most probably they are caused by rheumatoid arthritis. It hurts to take every breath. I would love to be able to retire but it would mean losing my health insurance. In any sane world I would be able to do that. But I need a CT scan repeated in 3 months to rule out something more dire. So I have something more dire hanging like a black cloud.
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Old 11-13-2016, 09:31 AM   #12
eva5667faliure
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Originally Posted by tied View Post
Dmack (David). I too am having problems with this modern life. I just went through an election that makes me fearful for the whole world, with the immediate question, which country will let me live there in peace? While discussing what would happen next in a hate and war torn world my Pop decided to move out and live in an assisted living center. Meanwhile, back at my health, I am in miserable pain and depression, and wonder how long I will live in my condition. Pop leaving feels like both an abandonment and more work to have to drive to see him after returning from my demanding job. And through all this I am trying to concentrate on studying to pass the test for my professional licensure. I woke up at 5am after a nightmare where I had to do all the work while family refused to help but instead made more work for me because I had to redo their shambles of helping me. My husband was dazed and nonresponsive and I was sure something was seriously wrong, but still I snapped ar him that he either needed to help or get some sleep, but I could not have him around if he was going to just stare confused at me. I am on one of my rare vacations but I can't concentrate on my studies and have a very hard time to hide my tears all day from Pop.

You see David, because you vented you got one from me. I both thank you and apologize for that.

Because of my many diagnoses I can't take antidepressants, so I am supposed to do talk therapy. I wonder when I would have time to sleep if I had to add that to my grueling schedule.

I have some very painful nodules in my lungs. Most probably they are caused by rheumatoid arthritis. It hurts to take every breath. I would love to be able to retire but it would mean losing my health insurance. In any sane world I would be able to do that. But I need a CT scan repeated in 3 months to rule out something more dire. So I have something more dire hanging like a black cloud.
Thank you for your honesty and sharing
May your lungs be healed
Hoping a miracle come to you
Take care
Love
Me
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Old 11-19-2016, 07:33 AM   #13
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Dear tied,

I hope venting helped a little.

I'm so sorry to hear about your health problems. I'm sorry that you are suffering… The worrying alone is enough

I'm sure the extra travel and visiting time is a burden now that Pop moved out. It must be especially difficult for you because of your health problems, and because you are studying for a license right now

I can understand how Pop's leaving could leave you feeling abandoned. It's unfortunate that he decided to move because it sounds like you could really benefit from someone loving and supportive who's in your corner right there when you need them, since it sounds like you feel like you're not getting enough support at home right now

You are clearly under a lot of stress. You said you can't take antidepressants because of your medical conditions, but could you take a low dose of a benzo such as Klonopin or Xanax for your anxiety? Are low doses of medications to help you sleep out of the question? Instead of sleeping pills, some MDs prescribe other meds off label (like trazadone) that are milder and can help with that. Asking couldn't hurt… unless you've already asked.

It's really hard to make time for therapy sometimes (honestly I just hate it). You could really use that support now, but ironically it seems to be the worst time since you are going through an adjustment period with your father having just moved, you are still studying to get that license, and are already crunched for time. I hope that when things settle down a bit, you are able to go, even if it's once a month that's something. In the meantime, I hope at the very least you have a good friend or family member you can vent to from time to time, even if you don't feel comfortable laying it ALL on them.

None of us can escape the what's going on in the US and abroad right now, and it's having a profound effect on millions of people. I can't tell you to put your head in the sand, but please try to avoid the news when you are already feeling vulnerable, especially on TV. The most important thing right now is that you take care of yourself….

We're here for you anytime you want to vent

Kay
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Old 11-24-2016, 04:50 PM   #14
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My dear fiend Tied

I am so glad you vented, life is and can be a gruelling journey. Then there are times mere glimmers of hope that tell us, hang on it will get better, that is what keeps us alive.

Your current situation would drive even the most resilient person to despair, yet you my dear fiend have the gift and unknown knowledge to share your turmoil with this cyber world. By doing so you let people on the edge gain strength by your battle.

I pray your health will get better, your mood lift, and your inner resolve remain steadfast.

Your father chose a life and lifestyle to meet his current needs, you now must do likewise.

Take care stay strong, and know your determination aids my own journey

David
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