Dmack (David). I too am having problems with this modern life. I just went through an election that makes me fearful for the whole world, with the immediate question, which country will let me live there in peace? While discussing what would happen next in a hate and war torn world my Pop decided to move out and live in an assisted living center. Meanwhile, back at my health, I am in miserable pain and depression, and wonder how long I will live in my condition. Pop leaving feels like both an abandonment and more work to have to drive to see him after returning from my demanding job. And through all this I am trying to concentrate on studying to pass the test for my professional licensure. I woke up at 5am after a nightmare where I had to do all the work while family refused to help but instead made more work for me because I had to redo their shambles of helping me. My husband was dazed and nonresponsive and I was sure something was seriously wrong, but still I snapped ar him that he either needed to help or get some sleep, but I could not have him around if he was going to just stare confused at me. I am on one of my rare vacations but I can't concentrate on my studies and have a very hard time to hide my tears all day from Pop.

You see David, because you vented you got one from me. I both thank you and apologize for that.

Because of my many diagnoses I can't take antidepressants, so I am supposed to do talk therapy. I wonder when I would have time to sleep if I had to add that to my grueling schedule.

I have some very painful nodules in my lungs. Most probably they are caused by rheumatoid arthritis. It hurts to take every breath. I would love to be able to retire but it would mean losing my health insurance. In any sane world I would be able to do that. But I need a CT scan repeated in 3 months to rule out something more dire. So I have something more dire hanging like a black cloud.