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Old 10-21-2016, 08:20 AM #391
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"To believe I have a purpose
To believe I too matter
To believe I too can be happy
"

I'm glad to read these positive thoughts Eva. You do matter, and you are loved

I think you should print out your last post as a reindeer to yourself that you do have a purpose, you do matter, and you can (and have a right to) be happy
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Old 10-21-2016, 12:26 PM #392
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Default Decided to return

I have decided
rather than not
find help I feel I desperately need
to return to a new psychotherapist that works in my pain
specialist office he has brought her in his office
And start all over AGAIN
I said after pouring out my life story with previous help
and denied me help when needed him most failed me
Not just once but
Twice
I never wanted to do it all over again
However
What do I have to loose
I need help with this horrible depression
it is a battle every single day
It is deep within
Deep
What do I have to loose
Me
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Old 10-23-2016, 08:05 AM #393
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Default Don't know anymore

I am so sad
So so sad
A promise to pick Eva up from father so time could be spent with mom dad and grandmother supervising
Once again
I had to wipe her tears away
Make it better
Never again
My grandchild has a little heart that is just so big for them
I cannot understand
How can I prevent it from happening
I can't
The only thing I can tell them the next time I talk to them
Always Christine knew when a promise is made they must follow through
Another day I have to rearrange everything
So she is not unhappy
I just want to scream
Just scream
What wrong with them
What's has happened to my daughter
This isn't how I raised them
So sad for her
Me
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Old 10-25-2016, 09:42 AM #394
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Default called insurance company before...

calling the doctor
was told i am 100% covered
then i call psychotherapist Kristen
after about 10 min. of a brief reason i was seeking her help
totally ****** me off
i get going to school and getting an education that becomes one's profession she wants up front every visit $150.00 each session
and i would have to submit paperwork for reimbursement
are you f'in kidding me
oh you're not happy what the insurance company pays out
i am sick of the doctors insurance companies pharmaceutical companies lawyers and the corrupt twisted self promoting
and the in the end a lobbyist
just look at whats going on with the election process

i already cast my vote about three weeks ago
absentee ballot
"IT" WAS RETURNED
because the postal service machine did not recognize the address it was to go to
so it's a process with the postal service worker having to submit "IT" in a special way as it now gets handled differently
it made national news
i live in one of the most CORRUPT states in the country
New Jersey
i know this to be true
personal experience
having worked on a municipal level
this is where ALL of the corruption begins
i worked the polls
i drove seniors to the polls
no more
NEVER EVER AGAIN
for the elitist
this is a well oiled machine
i need help
but money
outrageous charges are asked by the poor
as we are poor
and i have a voice
however
similar to what was said about our OBAMACARE
WE THE ILL
disabled
look at our vets and how they are treated
the most recent news
a vet took his life while waiting for hours to be see for what tops 10 minutes give me am f'in break
they WENT TOWAR FOR THIS COUNTRY
the land of the free and BRAVE
i was an immigrant went through the PROCESS that is in place
became a citizen along with my parents and middle sister
and to know how the process is just overlooked
and making many citizens in the manner of what we are now learning MAKES ME SICK
HERE WE GO
MENTAL illness a profession that has been abused
and i having personal experience of doctors so quickly getting persons hooked on certain drugs
again MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
makes me sick
now i get that one acquires a profession that can be lucrative
but where are i and soooo many others who lose their private insurance like i did left with
are you kidding me
$150.00 a pop
every session that lasts what 40 minutes
it makes me sick how corrupt this country has become in the end
you cannot trust any politician
look at "BRIDGEGATE"
i have turned republican in the last three years
i have given the democratic party enough time to get it right
now to say Christy had no clue about the "cluster duck" that happened
a republican trying to intimidate those who were clearly instructed what to do
are you kidding me
MONEY POWER THE ELITE are the only ones who get whatever it is they may need
i am sick
lost my job because i got sick
i cannot return back to work after a neurosurgeon botched and tried to lie through his teeth
changed my life forever and not have to answer to the corrupt manner in which my case was handled

look DMV is giving my child a difficult time getting a state ID
bringing in all necessary documents proper points needed
refusing to provide the services so she can cash her check

the reason DMV is so hard core with the wrong people such as my daughter it was the DMV AGENCY FOUND TO BE CORRUPT
giving out licenses to so many illegally for cash
that's right
but "THEY" will not recognize it
noooooo
this they want to sweep under the rug
many things are RIGGED
AND IT SICKENS ME EVEN MORE

money money money
the ROOT of all evil
just look at whats going on with our election process
it is supposed to be sacred
RIGHT

The birth certificates in hudson county state of NEW JERSEY since the 1960 found that they are invalid and MUST go to TRENTON to obtain a valid document that is recognized as a person who was born in this country
as birth certificates were given out to God knows how many illegals

THE TRUTH PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
WITH ONE OF MY CHILDREN MY SISTER

are you kidding me

all i want is someone to please help me with my depression
right
at $150.00 a pop
awaiting to hear from either insurance company or doctor
as i called the insurance company as the doctor requested i do
and the insurance company said they would call and speak to her personally

i'm sick
and getting sicker
and cannot get the help i need without f'in outrageous up front charges
it just sickens me
just something else to add to my plate
it ALL s.u.c.k.s.
me
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Last edited by eva5667faliure; 10-25-2016 at 12:14 PM.
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Old 10-26-2016, 05:09 AM #395
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Default All day

Unable to get through to doctors the insurance company provided
As the doctors left practice pull out of the program
Office does not exist anymore
All day tryi g to find a doctor
No luck
I have resigned from trying to find a doctor
The tries to find a doctor that is happy with what they are paid for services rendered
Not anymore
Done
Just so done
Me
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Old 10-31-2016, 05:37 AM #396
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Default So many broken hearts

We are all having a hard time
We understand he is in a much better place
We just loved him so hard
It hurts just as much
Even harder
He was a great friend
On who never left your side if you were true
He lived a happy life
We loved him so much
We love him even harder
Especially now that he is gone
His eyes forever will I see
My time with him a month ago
Was time that I knew his time was close
He is so very much missed
There is a hole in our hearts
He is missed
Me
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Old 11-02-2016, 06:45 AM #397
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Default My time here has come to an end

May all those who touched my life
Forever remembered
Happiness is my wish for all
Good bye
Me
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Old 11-02-2016, 07:13 AM #398
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Default

Eva are you with loved ones? You sound like you shouldn't be alone right now, it's been a tough week, month, year for you I know and I wish I could say with certainty it will get better. Truth is we don't know, but we keep trying. Do stay strong, don't go, you are right in you have touched the lives of many, I'm one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
May all those who touched my life
Forever remembered
Happiness is my wish for all
Good bye
Me
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion
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Old 11-02-2016, 08:06 AM #399
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Default I will try to hang on

Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaJune View Post
Eva are you with loved ones? You sound like you shouldn't be alone right now, it's been a tough week, month, year for you I know and I wish I could say with certainty it will get better. Truth is we don't know, but we keep trying. Do stay strong, don't go, you are right in you have touched the lives of many, I'm one.
It ALL is just way much
And I can't find a doctor who will
help me with all of it
As I do what is in my power
And leave the rest in the hands of Heavenly Father
I am broken on just so many levels
I am just getting so tired
I have done my very best
And am given more to deal with
I will try
With all my being
Me
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Old 11-02-2016, 02:20 PM #400
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Default

Sending you warmth, love and virtual hugs my friend. Is it possible to ask your last doctor to refer you to another?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
It ALL is just way much
And I can't find a doctor who will
help me with all of it
As I do what is in my power
And leave the rest in the hands of Heavenly Father
I am broken on just so many levels
I am just getting so tired
I have done my very best
And am given more to deal with
I will try
With all my being
Me
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion
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