I've come to expect misery in life. I know that tomorrow won't actually be brighter. I know I have no choice but to struggle to survive every day. I know that there is virtually zero chance of me ever living a happy life, it's not likely I'll find love, it's not likely I'll ever have enough money to stop working. I will certainly never have a job that I enjoy or even find the slightest bit of fulfillment in.
I know all this, and so it's easy for me to sigh and keep slogging on, my own jaded mind protecting me from the pain. What's hard is knowing that no one else takes it that easily. They all still feel the pain. ALL the pain. And I will never be able to do anything about it. I can listen, and empathize, and understand every word, and the pain will still be there. The hopelessness. The despair. I have no advice because I never found a way to make it stop.
The country sucks. The WORLD sucks. The innocent people just trying to live their own lives will always be taken advantage of by someone greedier, more selfish, and more powerful. The only thing I have is my hopeless rage, and no one I can hit to make it better (legally
). The only power I have is what I can generate with my own hands, and that's worthless the vast majority of the time. Unless I am physically witnessing an unlawful act I am powerless. I can't fight the bigotry or sexism of the world. I can't fight the corrupt politicians who lie and cheat and steal and even kill to get whatever they want, I can't fight the justice system that they buy their way out of, and I can't fight the democratic or republican parties who couldn't care less about the country and willingly created this travesty of an election.
And even if by some incomprehensible means the unjust are cast down from power, how long will it take for them to corrupt the new system? And even in a perfect government the world will be full of rapists and murderers, and people who will do anything for their own benefit. It's disgusting that any of this is allowed to happen, but it all is allowed, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I can't stand the way the world is. It literally makes me suicidal whenever I think about it. I can only ***** at the internet and hope someone more powerful agrees...