Sam,
I truly believe each day our experiences are preparing us for what lies ahead in our lives here on earth as well as our final path. This is where our free will and the choices we make come to the surface.

Even tho you may not see this as a plus; as you continue to grow, you look back and are able to view things so differently, you may often wonder "where did this idea come from??? It is somewhere in your memory bank and/or sometimes we may even feel it is God's way of sharing our lives.

Gerry

I'm glad you have a neuro who supported your decision.
I'm of the same mind, Sam...

I don't take any of the MS meds because they haven't helped me in the past, which is not a surprise because of the type of MS I have, and I won't take anything I know won't benefit me.

I just researched more on MS, and I seem to have a lot of symptoms that match up with it. How did you get you're MS diagnosed?


I probably wont even tell my doctor, because he would think I'm crazy. Basically everyone thinks I'm 100% healthy. But I still have those underlying symptoms that I live with everyday. (I just ignore them)

I was diagnosed based on my medical history, neurological exam, and an MRI of my brain and spinal cord after other conditions with similar symptoms were first ruled out. I have Progressive MS (which is rare), so my problems accumulated over time, beginning with escalating sensory and balance problems. I was diagnosed about 10 years after my symptoms began because the connection wasn't made until my tremor started getting worse and I started having more motor problems.

The majority of people who have MS have Relapsing Remitting MS, and have relapses/episodes where symptoms appear for a period of time and mostly go away when inflammation goes down. In addition to progressive disease, I also have relapses. As far as which symptoms stay, which disappear, and to what degree, is different for everybody.

I understand that you have questions, and I don't want to be insensitive, but I'm going to be completely honest: I'm not really comfortable with the "Do I have MS?" question for several reasons, but there is an MS forum here on NeuroTalk, where they are probably all more knowledgeable and up to date on their information and research than I am.

My best advice is to consider the symptoms you are having based on whether or not they are neurological vs. comparing them to a list of MS symptoms. If you are having neurological symptoms they are worth mentioning to the neurologist you were seeing for treatment of your epilepsy.

I REALLY hope you do not have MS.
Good luck Sam :hug:

Hi Sam,

It is very good to hear from you. What am amazing list of accomplishments! Even if your days aren't perfect (whose are?) it sounds like you have adjusted very well to all that has happened with you. Be sure you give yourself credit from a functional standpoint. Getting your grades up to A/B in High School takes a lot of perseverance and daily engagement. This is a tremendous leap forward.

I agree that many of the existential questions you have are expected for your age. Many teens struggle with the same big concepts. There is much going on in our country and in the world that is difficult if not impossible to wrap your head around, not to mention the bigger issues like God and Heaven.

it's good you recognize over-thinking. Try not to do that! School will lead to new knowledge and experiences and someday a spark will ignite a passion in you for something in particular. Not just a job but something that resonates. There is too much pressure on high schoolers to make decisions about what they want to do and be. This may not be clear to you until well into college that's why there is an initially "undecided" major. Try not to worry. You are doing exactly what you should be right now. The rest will come. In the meantime, let life wash over you, influence you, shape you into the kind of person you admire and want to be. You will choose and hold the values that deepen your experience and connect you to others.

Be the change you want to see in the world Sam. Every day who you are has the capacity to touch people. Being a model for carrying on with the business of life in spite of suffering makes a difference. You are far from empty. We see you Sam and God sees you too.

Many hugs, :hug:

Thanks OhKay for the information!

My symptoms are so complex, and sometimes I don't even believe I have any and feel its "all in my head" like everyone says.

Around the time I got my concussion (even before) I started having depersonalization as you know, and I have had numbness ever since. I also get a headache like pain in the back of my eyes when staring at a computer screen for more than 20 minutes. And from time to time I have weird head pain but I just brush it away..


I don't know, I'm a mess. Just like every other teenager. But If I did have MS (which I hope I don't) it would just make sense. That this was underlying this whole time and thats the reason why I have such odd symptoms :confused::confused:

Hi Littlepaw! Long time no talk! :D


Thanks so much for the kind post, I truly appreciate it. Like you said, its hard for me to wrap my head around everything, it REALLY is. I just can't wait to grow older and have more choice in what I do and how I live. Right now, I feel like a robot mindlessly going to school, walking from class to class not seeing the slightest point of me being there. The only subject I am interested in is History, but other than that everything seems like bull-**** information to me.


The curriculum they teach now is nothing like they taught years ago. My generation doesn't even learn how to write in cursive.. (Seriously) And most of the material is just being taught to us just to pass a standardized test, and to make the state look good so the education directors can make money.



Anyways, thanks again for posting. My face lit up with a huge smile when I saw your username! You were always there for me when I needed it. :)

thanks Sam! I have not been on as much these last months but I think of you and wish you well. I've had a lot going on and have made gradual improvements that mean I am out and about more than before.

I know how frustrating the system can be. With a high schooler your age I well understand the issues. I hope your school at least has decent "academies" of focus that allow some exploration. History is fascinating and has many lessons to teach us. It is important to have passionate historians who carry the torch of truth regardless of how good or bad the light it shines may make events appear.

On a practical note - and forgive me if stating the obvious - Have you had a good eye exam lately? Some eye issues, such as astigmatism, can be had with 20/20 vision but will show up on a more thorough exam. This simple thing can cause awful headaches and even slight near-sightedness can cause eye strain. Add in fluorescent lighting and device screens of all kinds and pain behind the eyes isn't uncommon. You might also consider some of the special glasses gamers use to reduce digital eye strain.

Take care and be well, :hug:

Beautiful posts Littlepaw. Thank you. :hug:

Hi everyone,

Super depressed writing this. I just don't understand WHY we're all here??

I recently started a new job working at a coffee shop, and my feelings about this **** we call life are growing. My same feelings of that... what's the point of ****ing working your butt off everyday? To do what? Grow old and sit in a wheelchair? There is absolutely no point. Sure, you'll probably tell me "love, friends, experiences" well I have none of that, and I never will.

I go to school, work, and come home and play video games with the time I have left. That's it. They tell me to go to school to get a job, but then what? Work everyday until I die? Love it....



I want to kill myself so bad. But I just can't because my family would be scarred, and I would just be hurting them. It's not there fault, it's just that my mind doesn't think the same as everyone else's and I DONT see the point in being a slave for no reward. I'd rather die and get the chance to go to heaven if it's really there....