NeuroTalk Support Groups

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)
-   Survivors of Suicide (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/)
-   -   I'm back. Now just "occasional" suicidal thoughts. (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/244172-im-occasional-suicidal.html)

eva5667faliure 02-25-2017 09:13 AM

School
 
Heaven forbid your not in a click
It happened when I was a kid 56 now
My children in their thirties the sham s**t
And then my nineteen year old
I almost lost her to the evil in this world
The hardest relationship ever
But took her out of school twice
School a major ingredient along with others that screwed up the start of her life
Now my granddaughter loves lives school
But there are children who are very hurtful
And mean I it is sad that a five year old child can beep mean and hurtful to other children and no respect for the teachers
This tell me so much that is not happening in schools
My years I dove into sewing cooking shop gym
I was the tallest girl in the school
I am 5'10" tall
Was given the name big bird
That bothered me terribly
Couldn't do anything about how some were going to be
I had to find myself in school
I concur
You need to find that one special someone
Do you go to the school library
You may want to check it out
Just a try
No talking necessary
Let the body do the talking
Getting yourself into a scenario
And the opportunity to meet that special someone
And plenty are out there
I get the trust part of it all
That comes with starting a connection
All else will follow
We need to put ourselves out there
I know how it felt when I was in school
Then around junior year I began to empower myself
It attracted people who wanted more than I was ever willing to give
Complex it always was
As it was for my babies
They were involved
Band music games school paper
And so on
It was not easy for them
This is all true
You empower yourself
You are someone who matters just like the next
Make it matter
On your side
Your cheerleader
Go Sammy go
Time to have some fun
Love

SamG11 03-18-2017 05:49 PM

Hi guys,


Just an update and need to vent.


I have so much anxiety and depression all the time now. It just follows me everywhere. I really think this whole life is pointless and just wish a plague wiped out the earth so I don't have to deal with this **** we call society. The sad part is, it's not even that my life is that bad. I go to school, have a roof over my head, etc. But I have SO much anxiety and just feel like a piece of dirt with no meaning or purpose.


I'm trying to make friends and be social because I realize my depression and anxiety gets worse when I'm sitting in my room alone all day (currently in my room alone! what fun!!)


I used to hang out with this one kid all the time when I was little, and I really like him as a person and hes super fun to be around. And when we are together, we always seem to laugh and I always have a good time. But for the past years, we only really talk in school and never hang out or stay in touch.



I've been trying to text and snapchat him, but he rarely answers and seems like he doesn't really care about me. I really want to hang out with him and do normal teenager things but I just can't seem to do it. I keep trying but It doesn't work. Besides, why would he ever want to hang with me? He has millions of better people to be around.. I'm worthless....


For those of you going to recommend to make other friends, I have plenty of friends INSIDE school but I don't feel comfortable hanging out with them outside of school, they just don't get me. But I KNOW this one kid does, be he just ignores me now.

bizi 03-18-2017 08:26 PM

I am sorry you are having these troubles. Why not try to hang out with your school friends? Take up a sport?
bizi

eva5667faliure 03-19-2017 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamG11 (Post 1238995)
Hi guys,


Just an update and need to vent.


I have so much anxiety and depression all the time now. It just follows me everywhere. I really think this whole life is pointless and just wish a plague wiped out the earth so I don't have to deal with this **** we call society. The sad part is, it's not even that my life is that bad. I go to school, have a roof over my head, etc. But I have SO much anxiety and just feel like a piece of dirt with no meaning or purpose.


I'm trying to make friends and be social because I realize my depression and anxiety gets worse when I'm sitting in my room alone all day (currently in my room alone! what fun!!)


I used to hang out with this one kid all the time when I was little, and I really like him as a person and hes super fun to be around. And when we are together, we always seem to laugh and I always have a good time. But for the past years, we only really talk in school and never hang out or stay in touch.



I've been trying to text and snapchat him, but he rarely answers and seems like he doesn't really care about me. I really want to hang out with him and do normal teenager things but I just can't seem to do it. I keep trying but It doesn't work. Besides, why would he ever want to hang with me? He has millions of better people to be around.. I'm worthless....


For those of you going to recommend to make other friends, I have plenty of friends INSIDE school but I don't feel comfortable hanging out with them outside of school, they just don't get me. But I KNOW this one kid does, be he just ignores me now.

So sorry you feel this intense emotion
Oh dear Sammy
All the questions you must be asking yourself
Your not alone
And being as young as yourself
You have but time to find your way
For some of us life's not just so easy
And to think that you are the only one who has this intense emotion is stressful
You want friends
I know you do
And bizi mentioned a very helpful suggestion
Sometimes we who suffer anxiety and to those who don't haven't any idea what you are feeling
Make no mistake there are many
You sometimes have to step out of your comfort zone
And push through the negative thoughts
Especially the ones where you feel nobody wants to be your friend
It hurts to the bone
You can make a difference
Look for that other your person who is having a hard time just look close they are among you
Help them get through the process of this difficult time in your life
I promise you this
Nothing is permanent
You matter more than you know yet
Open your heart
Close your eyes but see
Touch and feel
If I have but one thing to offer is this
You know the you you are
And who you want to become
Give yourself a break and time that will be the answer to all our questions
Time Will Tell

Do you believe Sammy
That you matter
Do you understand that
We all deserve the opportunity to be a part of this place we call earth

You matter
You are not alone
And you will find your way
Do not step in your own way

You are going through a very trying time
Hang on dear Sam
Don't let go
You will find your way
TIME
GIVE IT TIME
I am cheering for happier times
And step away from the technical world
Go outside and do something different
Go to a dog park if you like animals
Volunteer your services to children in hospitals
Just suggestions
You will find your way
Love
Me
Was thinking
Sammy do you have a school that offers after school events
Do you like to read like a book club
Had you on my mind

OhKay 03-25-2017 09:18 AM

I'm sorry things are so hard Sam :hug::hug::hug:

It's terrible to feel rejected by a friend like that :hug:
Are you sure it's just you he's blowing off? Some people have a habit of doing that to just about everyone. Either way, you could think about changing your approach by contacting him in a different way or asking him to meet up to do something different that may appeal to him more.

Is it completely out of the realm of possibility that one or more of your other in-school friends could learn to "get" you if given the opportunity? You are upset that you aren't being given a chance, but are you giving other people a chance?

Reaching out is hard in social situations at any age, but harder in high school. And things are obviously more complicated for you :hug::hug::hug:

Feel free to vent anytime.
And feel free to let us know that it IS just a vent…
I did get that, but I couldn't resist suggesting you try to work with that you already have friend-wise. I'm sorry :hug:

I'm going to continue to wish for the best for you Sam :hug::hug::hug:
Kay

ger715 03-25-2017 10:10 PM

Sam,
Dealing with anxiety is really rough. I know that feeling all too well.

You've mentioned in a past post about working and what's the sense, etc., etc.; but as you pretty much indicated.... "what's the sense of you sitting in your room?? At least working will get you out. You'll get to talk with customers or the people you work with.

Yes you are right; if we live long enough we will grow old. And there will be good times and some not so good times. But that takes effort. Are you up to the task??

If your family didn't work; you wouldn't even have the room you are sitting in or the food you are eating. So, if nothing else; there are some positives to working; even might enjoy certain foods or games, that you picked for yourself with your own earnings.

Yes, you have had some pretty nasty side effects going on; but all the more reason to try to change it. You might even find others enjoy your company with a "new attitude. Whatcha got to loose???

Sam, I hope I haven't been too up front with you; but I think you might just prefer that. I'm glad you come to NT and give us a chance to respond; why......because we care....
Please stay in touch.


Gerry

OhKay 03-26-2017 07:22 AM

Gerry, I think that a job is a wonderful suggestion if that is a possibility for Sam :hug::hug::hug:

eva5667faliure 07-19-2017 07:17 AM

Sammy
 
Want you to know I think about you
And hope higher education is a thought
You are the future
With many calling themselves
Generation x
Whatever it take to get this world back on track
To many derailments
The power in the hands of our children
You have much to offer
I was wondering should you find yourself in a better place did you ever think of becoming a councilor to young ones going through life when nobody is listening
For the young who want to give up
Just a thought
Hope you are coming into understanding yourself
Oh how I wish your life be all you want it to be
Love
Me

eva5667faliure 08-17-2017 08:01 AM

Sammy
 
Thinking of you
Love
Me

eva5667faliure 10-13-2017 05:10 AM

Hi Sammy
 
Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you
I pray things are getting easier
The world is so complicated
Keep it simple
I miss when I was a little girl how simple things were
This way before any computers and how technology took over
Especially in the wrong hands
I hope you have found that special friend
Anyhow thinking of you
Be well
Love
Me


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:31 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.