Hello everyone,

For those who don't remember me, or don't know who I am, I am Sam and am now 16 years old. I had a thread called "suicidal thoughts always there in the back of my head"


It has now been 3 years since I hit my head and got a concussion. And to be honest, I feel the exact same. I STILL have depersonalization, and still when I look in the mirror I don't see myself. I am off all medications, (finally!) because they were doing more harm then good. All I take is fish oil and a few other vitamins and minerals. I just live my every day life pretending I have no symptoms, which seems to somehow work.


Instead of posting again on my old thread, I decided to make a new one, because my symptoms and life has changed. I guess you could say I'm back to normal on the outside. I go to school, get A's and B's, socialize, then come home do my homework and play videogames. It's a never ending cycle. But on the inside, I am empty. I wonder every single day why am I here? Where is God? And I just cannot physically wrap my brain around this world we live in.


I am just so numb. And occasional I consider ending it all, but I don't because it is a sin as it says in the bible. I love god, but I don't understand where he is right now, and how this all started, and what is the point? We go to school, to get a job, to get money, then retire and sit on a bench and watch the cars go by? There is NO point to life.