Hello ~ This may be somewhat triggering. It's about me and what is happening to my neighbor.

Two weeks ago, I went to my neighbor's apartment to help care for her cat. I had another neighbor with me. When I saw the condition of my neighbor, I went in immediately and asked if she needed to go to the ER. She was out of it, pretty much, hot and clammy. She asked me to check her blood pressure, fortunately I had a bp cuff. Her bp was 201/100. I tented the skin on her hand and it did not snap back down, she was severely dehydrated. I asked again if she should go to the ER and her friend asked me to leave the room. I was asked not to come back due to insisting she go to the ER, all's she needed to do was sleep since she was very sleepy, which I thought was very odd. This sick neighbor is 83 years old.

Three days later, this sick neighbor came to my home and explained to me, to my horror that that was a suic*de attempt she was following thru with. She had stopped her insulin, her blood pressure medication, stopped eating and drinking for 3 days. She still did not look well, but she assured me she was feeling better. She thanked me for trying to help her.

As she was leaving, she said she still was suic*dal and wanted to end her life that night again and walked out of my apartment. I immediately followed her and the other neighbor was there in her apartment. I insisted again that she should go in for an assessment immediately and I will call 911. She said she would call her doctor in the morning to see if her doctor could put her in the hospital for an assessment. I went back to my apartment and called 911. Only the police came and apparently she talked them out of everything and they left. The neighbor assured me she would stay overnight with the suic*de neighbor, which she did not. The following morning she went to see her "chiropractor" instead, refused to call her psych doc and that was two weeks ago and she has not sought help and has gone off her own psych meds.

The reason I am putting my experience out here is because of my history of attempted suic*de 4 years ago. It brought it all back to me, I had forgotten alot of what I went thru, but there I was standing beside someone who was actively trying to end her life. I was there with her and had no idea what was going on. And then the police did nothing. Every time I see her in the hallway, she looks like a ghost walking. I stopped taking care of her cat, I am just having a very difficult time reconciling all this in my mind.

I went back to my psych doc who will be putting me in partial hospitalization for stabilization and adjusting my current medication to give me more coverage. I am having alot of difficulty sleeping, nightmares, jumpy, feeling overly tired and fatigued and very very depressed over what I experienced and there is nothing more I can do. In my state, the police will not arrest someone attempting suic*de, although it is against the law to commit this act. Just does not make sense to me.

So, I have had to step away from her until I can get the help for myself as this was highly triggering and just being diagnosed as BiPolar II, now having awful mood swings.

The whole experience haunts me. I don't know how I will react if she does go thru with it. I have done everything legally to help her and she is refusing help.

Thank you for listening.

Blue