((((((LARA)))))))))
((((((((ALFFE)))))))

You BOTH are part of the reason I am here.

Oh Doody, in addition to everything else I'm losing my mind! Michaels' birthday isn't Sat it's this Thursday and don't you dare come one day later. I'm looking forward to having someone new to play with....Mr.Alffe's games are getting old....

I left you a message at yahoo....let me know if you don't get it.

Hugs for the room.

((Alffe))

If it were me, I'd go ahead and write the angry birthday thread. Mothers do that sometimes (get angry) - ALL mothers do that. It has nothing to do with the overwhelming love we have for them.

I did it with my mother for years after she died. When the anger/pain was overwhelming, I'd go to the cemetery and yell at her about everything she put me through - and then some. When it was all out, I felt empty. After a while it started to dawn on me that I'd never be able to change my past. If it was impossible for me, it was even more impossible for her to do anything about it. We were stuck with what we had together, and it sucked for both of us.

You know now how much I love, admire, and respect my mother now. You know I've completely forgiven her. There was a thread in the Sanctuary recently dedicated to mothers who cared. I posted because I really am thankful for my mother, but I'm sure it looks like an angry post. I couldn't lie and say everything was great. If I hadn't endured what she put me through, I wouldn't be strong enough to deal with the life I'm living now.

I'm sure Michael knows what he did ripped you apart - he's also strong enough now to listen to your angry words. You'll never be able to change what happened, but what you endured together has given you the strength to reach out and help others in a similar situation. It's an opportunity for you and Michael to work together on this - using your life and his story. It has given you the opportunity to prevent something like this from happening in another family.

There are times when I'm really angry about my situation, so I rag on mom. I can picture her up there saying "yeah, yeah - well it wasn't peaches and cream living with you either!" After that, all I can do is laugh. Kinda useless to cry because at least we had SOME time together.

If you ever feel guilty for being angry at Michael, just think of some wisecrack he'd give you. He couldn't have been a perfect child - and I'm sure you weren't a June Cleaver either.

(((((((((((KATHYM))))))))))))))))
You are a GIFT to all of us!

Not a day goes by that I don't think of my estranged son, Derek.
He will be 30 this year.
I didn't see him grow into a man.
I lost him when he was 22.

I know lots of you know my story (for those who don't - Derek left my life when I chose a path he didn't understand - I left my 22 year marriage). I am not grieving the death of my son... I am grieving the loss of a way of life which is overwhelmingly sad when I allow it to be.

The interactions that "happen" "HERE" in this forum are what hold me together. Sharing our lives has given us all a bond that most don't understand.

We can be forever grateful that each and everyone of us has an angel and a reason why we are here. Our reasons are different ... Our reasons are the same...

(((Addy)))

Thinking of you today, Alffe.

I also hope you got back to sleep last night too.

Thank you my friend..I'm sure I'll sleep tonight.

Alffe, you are a wonderful friend, that has been so supportive to me over and over again. I don't know that I can offer much in return, except to love you unconditionally, and be there for you should you ever need it. I admire you so much!

After everything that has already been said, I don't know that I can add much more about how good it is being a part of this place! I've leaned on many of you for lot's of difficult situations I've been confronted with since my divorce. The support you have offered is priceless to me! Without this place, I'd have very little support at all. I'm so thankful for all of you!!

Well I couldn't ask for more than unconditional love Kimmy. Thank you.