[KathyM]

We took a trip out to our fishing spot in MI on Saturday. The weather was beautiful and the sun was bright, but it didn't bother my eyes too much because I didn't have to bother with any glare from metal. The only glare was on the river, and it just looked like diamonds - soft sparkles on the water instead of piercing lazar beams.

I put on my nifty waders and headed out into the river, but I didn't have the same balance control as I did previously. The current was pretty swift, and my husband warned me if I fall I'd get swept away because the waders would fill up with water. I see now why people drown in such shallow rivers. I put everything I had into maintaining my balance, but I had a few close calls. I made my way over to a log jutting halfway into the river, and parked myself there.

There I sat - just a bump on a log - practicing my casting and soaking in all the beauty around me. I felt like I could sit there until the end of time, or at least until my husband forced me to come out of the water.

I was just getting into it when my arm started to give out - stabbing nerve pain and I couldn't control the movement of my fingers. It wasn't the casting arm, so I figured I'd try my best to ignore the pain til I couldn't ignore it anymore.

When I could no longer ignore the pain and I tried to get off the log, I realized I had used up all my resources trying to ignore the pain in my arm. My overall balance was much worse, and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I became enraged with myself because I became a whimpering fool trying to crawl off that log. When I got to dry land, I walked like a drunk person - I'm sure the other fishermen thought I was drunk as I staggered by them mumbling to myself to hold onto consciousness until I could get to a chair. I didn't want to faint in front of seasoned fishermen - they'd just laugh to themselves and think I'm a lightweight. If they found out I was disabled, they'd think my husband was a jerk for letting me walk out into the river.

I sat there in the chair and pouted until Ray was finished and ready to go home. By the time we got home, my pain levels were off the charts.

I don't ever want to fish in that river again. It's too much fun, and "fun" is obviously not meant for me. I feel sorry for my husband - he really loves that spot too. Maybe next time he can just park me in the woods somewhere away from the river while he goes fishing.

[Doody]

(((Kathy)))

[Alffe]

Could you float in one of those inflatable lounges? Hubby would have to anchor you so you didn't float away but that's easy enough to do. You can't stop having so much fun .........

[KathyM]

Alffe

I'd still be "up a river" if my arm gave out while casting. I wouldn't be able to pull or row myself in, and it would be very dangerous to faint in the river. If Ray weren't nearby, I'd have to scream for help. That would be VERY embarrassing, and strangers would probably lecture to me that I had no business being out there in the first place.

I really thought I had all my bases covered. I've been able to ignore pain and dysfunction in the past without losing it emotionally. Once I cross that threshold and become angry or frustrated with myself, all bets are off. It's a domino effect, and I become childlike - can't even remember simple things like how to make a phone call. There's NO WAY I want to put on such a display in public. Would you?

Fishing was fun, but it's not worth the possible humiliation. I'll work on gathering my strength to be able to sit on the shoreline with the fishermen - without pouting or feeling like I'm missing out on anything. Til then, he'll have to bury me out in the woods and dig me up when he's through.

[Addy]

KathyM