How are things going? Are you sleeping? Are you sick of me asking?

Yep....she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! LOL

No Alffe I'd never get tired of you asking and welcome back.

I just feel I've wasted so much time and energy for nothing. Two months "there", new machine and absolutely nothing but nightmares and confusion. These "treatments" were supposed to help me get out of this hole and all they've done is make me lose my memory, my skills, my reasoning, my thinking. You remember when I said I was going to go back to work and you said if they don't get "it" Alffe? No they don't get it. They stare, they laugh, they talk behind my back. I can't help but think these treatments were done "to" me not for me. All they've done is give me constant headaches, literally. I sat at my mom's grave yesterday and asked her what have I done to deserve this? Am I being punished for not being able to cope? Am I being punished for not knowing and realizing that Mark desperately needed help? I didn't know and if I had known I would have done everything in my power to stop him. No one knew but should I have known because we were so close?

I had so much confidence and was always full of life and now I just feel worthless. It's 5:45 AM and I haven't even been to sleep yet but I have to go to work for 1/2 day and try to be "somebody".

BJ...you are somebody! You're a part of this forum family and we recognize your courage in trying this hard to improve the quality of your life...hell, you want a life worth living and are brave enough to reach out for it. I think you are wonderful and I'm not the only one thinking that!

Your feelings about Mark are so typical of what we survivors feel...if only...that never seems to go away for us.

What does your pdoc think about where you are in this process? Are you turned up as high as you can be? How about the mask...did it ever come?
You can't NOT sleep...(((BJ))) My dear fatherinlaw always used to tell me that nothing succeeds like success. Dear Lord, it's BJ's time to see some.

Have you heard anything from Ada? I know she hopes to have her hand surgery today.

You're co-workers are fools!

And thank you for the welcome home.

I think you're somebody .... I even think you're somebody special.

Hi Girlie,
It is a shame that your co-workers are so cruel.
I am rooting for you.
maybe one of them might be better if you took them one-on-one and tried to enlist her help, be a friend to you. How is your boss?
I hope that your half day goes better and that your cpap is that what you are waiting for? arrives soon so that you can get some sleep.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Let us know how work went today....keeping you in my prayers.