From nature comes a secret of survival

While some will falter and fall from a perfect perch,

others will rebuild each nest destroyed.

While some give up without reason,

others achieve greatness in the face of doom.

Some will go on soaring though left alone,

gaining strength from the struggle of their flight

Survivors seem to sense the sun behind the clouds,

weathering a storm just to glimpse a rainbow.

On the wings of life there are gentle currents and rough winds.

Survivors float and fight as each day dictates,

Their hearts set determinedly on the horizen of hope.

The light they follow is their will to live,

The reward they receive is life itself.


From a Healing Heart by Susan White-Bowden

Bump for BJ who is the very definition of a survivor.

WOW Alffe! Love this "verse"
I am taking it that it is from book you have near bottom of post?
Will be scoping around for it .
AND YES B.P IS A SURVIVOR!!!!!
This post needed by more then you think Alffe thanks for posting it..helps me keep strong and going even when I want to say ...and do the oppiset. Thanks Alffe mom! much strength and comfort in those words you shared!

Thank you Alffe great words of wisdom. I'm glad you bumped that up for BJ, and as BMW said.... all of us could use the reminder I must get me that book!!

Another bump for BJ...

Thank you Alffe. I've read this book over and over again.


And this is where I'm stuck, not anly with Mark but with my mom. This is absolutely right, you can't judge someone by what's on the surface and that includes if you SI or not, it's in your soul, it's in your heart, it's in your being.

"When I was in the hospital last summer my pdoc told me everyone is like a pebble dropped into the middle of a pond. Every pebble creates ripples that stop only because they meet the land. Just know your pond is the size of an ocean. You have so much to share with the world. Let the ripples stop when they stop by themselves, don't force them to stop"

This was so right on BJ...your pond is the size of an ocean and we are in the water with you. Please don't be so hard on yourself....think about the good you do...think about the joy you bring to the world..trust me..you do!

I'm trying so so hard Alffe to let those ripples stop by themselves. I just feel like I'm at a dead end and there's no way to stop them from reaching the land. I wrote this last night when I couldn't sleep and I called it "Why Can't I Let Myself Soar". I write poetry when things get to me and I used to take it to my tdoc but now I just write for myself.

Time is sliding behind the clock.
There is a pain inside me.
Life slaps me in the face to mock
The voice says bones are the key.

Yet there is never sign to stop
Its a rat race till the end.
Up is down and bottom is top
A false wall that's just pretend.

Down and down into the dark lies
She wraps you around the night.
The place where one's soul never dies
And you no longer will fight.

My heart goes through a pyschic war
The pain just never will end.
The knife is driven to my core
Flagged by the past evil sins.

I must deserve this mental hell
Even though I see the door.
A small exit that I know well
Why cant I let myself soar?

And the lies are that I never told my mom and dad Mark left a note. The ups and downs are being bipolar. I must deserve this refers to what happened in the hospital. It's all coming back to haunt me.

BJ, dear BJ. I honestly think you are in a vicious circle...the tail is waggin the dog so to speak and you are going to have to break this cycle before it breaks you.

You are "feeding it" so to speak and are focusing on the blackness (I'm not minimizing how black it is! ) but you are going to have to help yourself get out of this by taking that first step.

Call your pdoc...call her today and tell her you need her help asap.
The reasons for your crisis need tending to dear girl. You are worth it.

Now please.....go call her!!

I know that I'm in a bad cycle Alffe. I did call my pdoc earlier today and was supposed to have an emergency appointment at 4 but the office called and said she had a crisis and had to cancel. I tried, I told her I was in crisis and needed to talk. I can't help feed it Alffe, it's feeding me.