"My son, my Son".


"I have not mentioned the stage called depression--the English poets called it melancholia--because it is really more of a constant companion, lurking within your psyche for days and then springing like a wolf at your throat because of some slight, or the breaking of a shoe lace or even the stubbing of a toe. Its lease on its lair in your subconscious can endure for years. Its antidote, I learned, is contact with people who care."

*******************************
Depression is! We can discuss the degrees, the frequency, the many causes...the effects are the same. It drags you down and tries to pull you under. And fighting it can be exhausting! Survivors win the fight...sometimes one hour at a time.
The allure of suicide is a cruel joke.
__________________

Contact with people who care

Alffe - that's beautiful. thank you. I've printed it out to keep.

I think I'm working on one minute at a time - the hardest part is that it makes you want to be alone. Like no one would possibly want to be around you.

i understand that sunnysidedown. but what we tend to forget, is that unless someone actually tells us they feel that way, we don't know that.

i lost count how many time my hubby has told me to not tell him how he feels. i stopped doing it a few years ago.

when i feel like no one would want to be around me...i was having major pms..yes i admit it...it was me thinking that. my family didn't cherish being around me, but loved me enough to try and get my feelings to change. i;m very greatful for that. cuz honestly...i was not a fun person to be around at that time. totally different than my norm. they knew something was the matter.

just keep taking baby steps. minute by minute.

Thanks for this dear Alffe.

SunnysideUP () .... I know exactly what you mean. When we are depressed, we want to be alone.

I know that I am in that space right now. I can talk to people on the phone... and I can usually write here (but mostly, I read)...

I am surrounded by excuses about why I have to be alone... my bed isn't made, my dishes aren't done (although, continually stacked, rinsed, re-arranged, the pile gets bigger until I've used 12 cups or 12 plates... or I run out of utensils). I need to wash, I need to get out and get a job, I need to make my eBay selling work....

I need to know I'm not alone...

I'm scared. And when I'm scared, I don't take care of myself or my things.

I don't want to paint all doom and gloom... right now is a time of reflection for me. I am taking baby steps and am climbing HUGE mountains with success... I'm going to be ok. I always am.

Age gives us experiences which overcome and beat up depression.

I guess I just wanted to say "you are not alone".


for all of us

Right now...
I'm taking things one second at a time along with each little breath...

I sometimes have to remind myself... breathe in, breathe out.

That's all I can do... but I am still doing it.


Abbie

i'll help remind you.

Depression puts a negative spin on everything. Depression causes negative thinking, negative thinking causes depression. It's a vicious cycle that's hard to escape. My negative thoughts are so automatic I don't even realize I'm doing it anymore. When you're depressed retreating is so much easier than getting out there. But isolation fuels depression and when I'm alone all the negative thoughts and alienation come flooding back.

I've been researching on my own about how and why someone retreats. I don't mean to do it and I don't know why it happens but I found this.........

Turn to trusted friends and family members. In your depressed state, you’ve probably retreated from your most treasured relationships. However, it is these relationships that can get you through this tough time. Communicate your needs to the people you love and trust. Ask for help when you need it.

I have no family left and my friends weren't my friends I found out. So I've retreated from you guys and I'm sorry for that.

bj...we love you cuz we want to. not cuz our mama said we had to.

you can always take time for yourself. lurk or don't even do that. but you know when you come back..there are going to be tons of hugs and lots of love waiting for you.

bj...we don't judge or make demands.

ok...i do...pet your kitty for me k? hey..and we are family now.

Sunnyside said "I think I'm working on one minute at a time - the hardest part is that it makes you want to be alone. Like no one would possibly want to be around you."
Your minute is up .... I want to be around you