Alffe said "you need to talk about your feelings That's why this forum is here"
I don't know what to say or how to say it. I'm just very tired and very down. I keep trying to make changes and be stronger - just tiny steps and then fall down. It's hard to get up and keep going.
I don't make much sense, do I? I don't have much.

Srorry Wren, my intent was not to make you feel worse - although i seemed to. It wont happen again.

SSd

my sweet wren...

i wish i was there to give you the hug you need. i want you to know how much i value our friendship.

you have endured so much and come through a winner. so much more than i think i could have.

when you stumble, i will be there. as will your others friends here. we love you wren.

Wren you know a "little" about what's going on with me right now, my doubts, my fears, my insecurities, my feeling of worthlessness, my feelings of why am I even here anymore. I keep watching this movie over and over again trying to convince myself that there will be a day when I can hold my head high again. In time. I hope you watch this and realize you do have something, you are important.

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/heads-high.php

Sunnyside, Sunnyside --
I hope you're here. You don't have anything to do with how wretched I'm feeling - really. I'm so sorry I created that impression
I understand how that happens when you're feeling wretched too.
I talked -- now you have to too. OK?

What's on my plate??? hmmm... it's pretty full today...

Right now there are about 11 people in the house all trying to take showers...

It's snowing...

My brother is getting married today... family trying to get here with the worst snow storm in years heading our way...

I have to drive myself today... no one has any room left in their cars.

This should be an interesting day.... all the slip sliding around... hope i don't fall...

Hugs to all...
hope everyone is safe and warm!!

Abbie

Be careful ((Abbie))

((Sunnyside))

((Wren)) I completely understand what you are saying. 1 step forward and 2 back gets old really fast. My health right now is my biggest stumbling block.

I spent the morning with daughter doody and granddoody. He was so adorable in his footie pajamas. I especially like the way he likes to decorate his Christmas tree. You see, the ornaments must be placed in groups. LOL hope the tree doesn't fall over from the weight of his groupings.

I intend to soak awhile in a hot epsom salt bath and rest the remainder of the day.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

LOL at Sunnyside and Wren for thinking they are "wretched" for having feelings.

BJ - Um, I don't think this is the holiday for dodging for apples. Hope you can pick your head up soon.

Abbie - Perhaps instead of tin cans, your brother can tie some tiny shovels to his wedding vehicle, and the guests can throw salt.

Aw, Doody - I LOVE those footie pajamas, and I'll bet your little guy is ADORABLE in them.

I can still picture my son at that age in his little red footie pajamas. He liked to lay under the Christmas tree and look up at the lights. One night the tree fell over, and all I could see were little red legs with white padded feet sticking out from underneath. It really scared me for a moment but when I lifted up the tree, he was completely unharmed and gazing happily at the lights.

I'm concerned about your health too. Please continue to take care of yourself, and don't take on any burdens you don't have to carry.

As usual, my plate is empty - but my husband's plate is overflowing.

Our home looks like a disaster area, and our son will be home on Wednesday. My husband was planning to spend the day yesterday cleaning up the house and preparing our son's room. But we got 9 inches of snow yesterday. He spent the entire day shoveling - snowblower broke. He came into the house huffing and puffing, only to find our dishwasher is broken too. I worry about his heart.

The cherry on top for him was a call from my MIL. His favorite Aunt passed away yesterday in Arizona. She broke her shoulder, but the hospital had trouble setting it - so they sent her HOME (she lived alone). Her daughter flew in to stay with her, managed to get her settled into bed, but she never woke up. She was like a mom to my husband, so he needs to go to the funeral. We're not sure when it is because an autopsy has to be performed first. It will be my first Christmas in 17 years without my husband at my side - but I understand why he needs to be there.

It's going to be a little scary around here without him because I'm not good a fending for myself these days - most I can do is sit up. Our son will be here, but his schedule is full - a lot of friends want to see him too. I don't want him spending his leave caring for me because I don't want him to know how bad it is. He's already too worried about me, and I need him to stay focused on his work. Plus, he has a 50/50 chance of inheriting this disease. I need to be strong for him to show him he can handle living with this disease too, just in case.

(((Kathy))) You're a strong woman and I know everything will be okay.