I found this site because of the ms bb here (a lot of members from a different ms board are here now). My ex (bi-polar, alcoholic) committed suicide with a shot gun 2 1/2 yrs ago. We had just broken up after trying to reuinite, I feel more like a widow because we were married for 22 yrs and together for 1 of our 2 divorced yrs. It was the day after my son's(a soldier) wedding, just a few weeks prior to his deployment. My younger son, 2o at the time, found him.

The pain and sadness is not really going away. I still feel sick when I think about what he did, and my sons reaction when he ran from his dads house, I was waiting on the sidewalk. I worry about his mental health now even tho he seems to be doing ok most of the time. We have both been in therapy.

I have really moved on with my life. Am living with/engaged to a terrific man who I was dating for a month when this happened. Just can't make make it better in my head.

I know how much the ms bb has helped, am sure this will too.

Hi smiles and welcome to neurotalk...these are wonderful forums and you'll find the mods are just great, compassionate people...real people with problems of their own. You're going to like it here. *grin

I'm sorry for the reason that brings you....the horror of suicide seems endless.
We lost our only son 18 yrs ago this month and there are still times when my anger flares at his "choice" to end it all.

You are learning that the grief process is different for everyone...it takes as long as it takes.

I can't imagin your son discovering his body like that....I'm glad you are all getting support and talking about your feelings. I can't stress enough that talking helps to heal us....it took me a long time to figure that out and to be able to talk about it. (the elephant in the room that everyone sees and ignores).

I have a library of books on suicide, have attended a suicide support group and try my best here to make some sense of a senseless act. You aren't alone and we are here to listen.

((Smiles)) I'm so glad you found this place. It is wonderful with very compassionate and caring people.

Is your son seeing a therapist to help him work through his feelings?

Yes, everyone grieves so differently and for whatever time it takes. There is no magic marker.

Hi again smiles...so happy you found your way back to us!

Dear Smiles [ which in its self is a positive counter thought, to your extremly traumatic situation]


I wont bore you with my details

HERE TOO LISTEN..That's all

dear smiles...

Thanks for your welcomes. It is obvious how supportive everyone is here

((Smiles)) always glad when someone finds their way back!!!

Hi Smiles I came to find your thread after you responded to mine.

I'm so sorry your son had to go thru that. I'm glad you were there tho I'm sure that helped him.

I think I'm really going to like this place more and more every day.

Smilles...Wendy, right? I see your mood is "in love" and I'm so happy for you.
It proves that we are capable of having an open heart inspite of what life has given us. I think your mixed feelings are understandable and you do need to talk about your son's father...22 yrs is a big chuck of life. I'm glad you've joined this "family".....we are here for you.