((Ellie)) Bless your heart. I too think you need to cross off those toxic people in your life, not the least of which is your brother. I have no sympathy where he or they are concerned at all.

And yes it sounds like you have a couple of wonderful people in your life though I don't know details. I don't think you should be hiding how you are feeling from your significant other. Although...I understand it from the perspective of...you think other people are going to get really, reallyyyyyy tired of hearing the same old thing day in and day out.."I feel like crap." "I feel like crap." "I feel like crap." But I don't think your fella would want you to be hurting.

I think you're the first person in here that has agreed with what I've said so many times before...that old saying that money can't buy happiness. Pooh! What happens when you don't have it??? Depression and so much more. Not askin for billions here, just to get by! I think we all understand how cruel life can seem when you can't make it, you're in pain (both pysically and emotionally), and don't know what way to turn. I'm glad Curious is finding you links about meds.

One of my cousins has been a hopeless drunk, a smarty pants, committed umteen drunken driving offenses, lazy good for..NOTHING! And yet, my aunt and uncle think he's god's gift. They pay for his rent, pay his utilities. Well let me say it another way, there isn't anything that they don't pay for - and for god sake he's 39!. Now they are all just feeling so bad that he got caught drunk when he went to see his probation officer and that was the last straw...he's now in prison for awhile. I'm betting one thing...unless he sees the problem, acknowledges it, and gets therapy, he'll go right back to it and on day one.

Toxic relations are just that...toxic, and the best thing you can do is cut them off.

Say...I would be glad to give you my address if you'd like to add me to your Christmas card wishes and include me as family. Watch out, you may just have a landslide of Christmas cards next Christmas.

Ellie ...... I understand wishing to be an orphan. I understand epilepsy. I understand people deciding to kill you ........ I even understand wishing they would succeed.

Best of all - I understand being HERE, in this forum, listening to these kind people, holding their hands and hoping for hugs.

https://www.rxhope.com/

http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentG...e_Programs.htm

for Californian's:

http://www.rxhelpforca.org/

Thanks. I'm not sure about companies, I have 3 of my prescriptions here. I can't read them very well, though. I will try.

Elaxil 10mg (I think it's mg) there's a lot of weird lines, shapes and squigglies that accompany it. #40, 3 refills.

Topamax 25;50 (it looks like ig, but who knows?)
It's an increasing dosage, which looks like it goes up to 150mg per day (50x3)

Maxalt 10mg (it doesnt say anything else)

I don't have the others yet as I have to take Artemisinin, get sick, have blood taken and then start Zithromax and Mepron. I don't know what they planned to change for the arthritis as after a month on Ultram ER they noticed overlooking it lowers seizure threshold and took me off of it but forgot a replacement.

I would be more than happy to take you up on that offer! I'd really love a Christmas card and the envelope to have the name "Doody" listed by the return address!!

Thank you very much. Being HERE was the only place that I could turn for this situation and I'm very glad that I did.



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Does anything happen to exist for help with medical procedures? Like ultrasounds and whatnot? My cyst grew 4.2 cm's from July 20th to November 2nd. I'm not sure if that's fast or slow in the cyst world (second one was 6 days after menses to make sure it wasn't a cyst I'm supposed to have). If that's about standard for a cyst I think I'm safe to skip it for a while. The one for my kidney, I personally think I'm OK with out it as the symptoms have resolved on their own.

I didn't get my EEG but I see no use, I can tell them the results anyway. It will show something in a different lobe as last time, it's my 'thang' and normal for me. Then they would have ordered a MRI, MRA, Spect or Cat Scan to see if my lesion did anything or grew a buddy. Again, no drastic change in symptoms short of memory lapses, forgetting how to use basic things like the microwave, but I snap back into it. And that may just be stress knocking me out of sync.

My main concern is my bloodwork because the last 3 showed the same problems with my IGA serum being consistently low, my iron % sat was low, and this other stuff she said was low again and may be something up with my liver (or something).

I planned to try for the medi-CAL but heard they include household income even if you're not married. My partner makes too much (even though it's all used taking care of me and the house). Just getting there to apply is a pain because he's working during their business hours so I can't even get to the stinking place.

It's frustrating, all I want is to get better. I don't want to be rich, or beautiful, or famous or anything. I don't even need to be cured but I'd like an 'off day' now and then or to at least be functional and productive. I don't want to get worse, and I keep getting worse. The part that is unsettling is I don't have to get worse, I can get better - it's just a rotten feeling when you know there's options out there but you have to buy them. Bah! Then I feel worse because there's people with something that can kill them, something that rapidly gets worse, yet they also don't get treatment and will likely die because of it. Then here I am soap-boxing and wanting to give up over pain, no matter how severe it is. I'm still alive, and my odds of this being fatal are pretty low.

I know how they say alcoholism and addiction are 'diseases', but what bugs me is there's treatment for them. They have methodone clinics, and AA meetings and rehab and all sorts of these low cost and even free options. But I always find some block when I try and find something to cure what I didn't do to myself. I think that's what stirs up my anger towards my brother because he didn't even appreciate that he had free housing, free therapy, free medication, and all of these things to help him (compliments of tax payers) and got out to p*ss it all away.

I certainly don't want to bash any addicts, or think I am better because of an avoidance issue. Honestly, I avoid alcohol because I know it's in my family and I know I stand a high chance of ending up the same way. I am in no position to judge, yet I have and will admit to that. It's not right at all, but some people are grateful for the help they are given and I have respect for those who are/were. Sadly, my brother isn't one of the recovering people I have respect for.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd have probably avoided grass like the plague. No words can describe how much I'd love to wake up without the pain. I'd be happy with just one day a month at this rate.

Thank you all again for listening, I feel like I have years of pent up aggression squishing me. I at least stopped crying!

I don't know if your medicines are available through the manufacturer on their patient assistance programs it can't hurt to check...

Here are the links that I have:

Elavil is made by:
Astra Zeneca
http://www.astrazeneca-us.com/content/patientAssistance/patientAssistanceProgram/
Generic name for Elavil is Amitriptyline it is on Wal-mart's $4.00 list.



Topamax is made by
Ortho-McNeil Neurologics, Inc:
http://www.access2wellness.com/a2w/

Contact Information
Patient Assistance Program
P.O. Box 221857
Charlotte, NC 28222-1857
1-(800) 652-6227 (phone)
1-(888) 526-5168 (fax)

Physician requests should be directed to:
Patient Assistance Program
P.O. Box 221857
Charlotte, NC 28222-1857
1-(800) 652-6227 (phone)
Ortho-McNeil Neurologics, Inc.

They have a free Trial medicine offer right now...up to 42 of the 25mg tablets... I know this doesn't cover all that you need but it's a start. (not all states can get free pharmaceutical trials due to varying laws)

http://www.topamax.com/topamax/index.html

Maxalt is made by:

Merck
http://www.merck.com/merckhelps/patientassistance/home.html
Patient assistance forms are on the left hand side of screen.


I have found that I had GREAT response when my doctor called these companies...

I hope these help you...

Abbie

Ellie

I hate that you are going thru this and I sure hope the sun shines and melts those snowflakes fast for you

I dont have solutions, but I do have prayers, and they are being lifted for you

((((((((((((((((((Ellie)))))))))))))))))

um...ellie.....them's not snowflakes.







hehehe

ok.. i'm back... found...

Zithromax is made by:
Pfizer:
http://www.pfizerhelpfulanswers.com/pages/misc/default.aspx



Mepron is made by:
GlaxoSmithKline:
http://us.gsk.com/html/healthcare/healthcare-coupons.html


There you go hun... I hope those help... if you have any more just let me know...


Abbie

abbie..those would be great to put in the sticky on the medciations forum...

I'll do that asap...



Abbie


Done.... 8:46pm.
hope that helps....