It's a tape that plays over and over in our heads when we've lost a loved one to suicide.

"Remorse like this comes with many faces, each unique and streaked with tears. The common denominator is guilt arising from the conviction that you have failed your loved one in some way - if only you had done or not done something, if only you had said or not said something, if only you had known. Guilt is common to the grieving process and can consume anyone who experiences an overwhelming loss."

*********

Finding Your Way after the Suicide of Someone you Love

by David B. Biebel, DMin, & Suzanne L. Foster, MA

"This is called "survivor guilt," and it is quite common among those who have survived a trauma, in which others died. In situations as intense as surviving a loved one's suicide, survivors may convert their intense emotions into a misdirected sense of responsibility and guilt for having survived. Survivor guilt is often compounded by unresolved guilt feelings from as far back as childhood. Differentiating between true guilt and false guilt in such cases can take a long time, even with the help of a competent counselor.

David B. Biebel, DMin, & Suzanne L. Foster, MA Finding your Way after the Suicide of Someone you Love

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Smart stuff! This is a wonderful book which I'll get for our neighbor when she's able to read again. I know that a couple of us here have in the past, or do now suffer from this.

Hugs for the room.

No one is comfortable with the reality of suicide. No one should expect to be comfortable talking about it or even thinking about it. But I've found that grieving can't be completed, and healing can't come, if dishonesty takes over. Honesty, of course, doesn't mean emotional brutality or insensitivity. The facts can be faced gently and lovingly. We don't have to pretend we aren't afraid, awkward, or hurting. In fact, when we show these feelings, we assure the bereaved that it's alright for them to feel and express these emotions.

Aurthor: Randy Christian Leadership magazine

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread44789.html

By Prashant K. Nanda. Delhi, India, 09:30 AM IST


Over 16,000 school and college students in India committed suicide in the last three years, says the health ministry, shedding light once again on the sorry state of mental healthcare in the country.

As per the ministry, 5,857 students committed suicide in 2006 and the figure for 2005 was 5,138. Similarly, in 2004, 5,610 students committed suicide.

'We know about the gravity of the situation and are going to re-strategise the national mental health programme,' Anbumani Ramadoss told IANS.

Experts, doctors and even the World Health Organisation (WHO) believe that a multi-pronged strategy needs to be put in place to tackle problems ranging from anxiety, depression, stress and finally suicidal tendencies.

Cherian Verghese, a specialist with WHO India, said: 'The mental health system needs an overhaul. Our schools might be giving good education but we need education in life skills. From counselling to increasing the number of mental health workers, the strategy should be holistic.'

'Students are a vulnerable group. Age, competition and relations in the family are all contributing to the growing cases of suicide among schoolgoers,' Verghese said.

He said some private schools in India had started appointing counsellors but 'government schools across the country need to make a move now'.

'There is a gamut of problems; India lacks the required number of psychiatrists as well. The social taboo around mental health also fuels the problem. A country which houses a huge number of youngsters must not take mental health lightly,' Verghese added.

He said since India faces a lot of natural disasters and deaths thereof, the country needs a brigade of social counsellors. Their job is to counsel people during post-disaster trauma disorder.

Nimesh Desai, a leading psychiatrist in the national capital, said: 'India needs a 10-fold increase in the number of psychiatrists. Across the country, there are not more than 3,500 such processionals.'

'The doctor-patient ratio, social stigma, growing competition and the desire to succeed in every field are leading to a higher level of anxiety, stress and acute depression,' Desai said.

Health ministry officials said the mental health programme in India would be revamped. Under the new plan, regional mental health institutes would be established.

All mental health hospitals would be modernised and the district authorities would be asked to go for community mental health services, life skill education and counselling would be introduced in schools.


~sigh

Such tragedy.

Wow Alffe...very incredible info. Such a tradegy...we all need to pray that we can be strong whether for our loved ones or ourselves...wow...for everyone!!