((Jan)) Alffe may not answer right away as she is in NYC with Mr. Alffe and grandkids.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Say, how is the pain going?

(((BJ))) Big hugs. Anniversaries are hard. And yup, it is hard losing a sibling. Even though my sister died from cancer at 34, not suicide, I still grieve for her and it is hard.

Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

(((Jan))) Michael left three sisters behind and they seldom talk to me about their feelings...I think they probably talk to each other, or did in the years following his death. It's been 18 years since he killed himself and their lives have changed....children that never knew their uncle, successful careers...etc. But I know how much they loved each other...I remember they were all going camping together on the upcoming weekend...instead he ended it all.

Maybe you could pm Bizi and talk to her.

I wish I could offer you words of comfort too. I just went through my sister's 2yr anniverdary date, it's tough. And next comes my brother's. I understand your hardship with the this week but, with God's help you will get through it.

I don't understand anything at all. I often cry at the drop of a hat and then wonder why I am so weak. No one has the answers, or even help during these times. Sometimes I hurt so deep down inside and get so lonely. I wish I had at least one family member left, even a cousin or someone. Now I am feeling sorry for myself. But time just doesn't make it better.

Sorry for going on so. I'd better close before I fall apart again.

Doody, thanks for asking about my physical pain - it's nice to get off the emotional stuff for a minute. As I think everyone knows, the trial SCS did not work; I had such high hopes that it would. It actually made the pain almost unbearable. But it may have been a blessing in disquise. My Ortho Dr gave me two cortisone injections in my hip and I am up walking short distances without support. I haven't been out of the house yet but I can get to anything IN the house I want to. I can feed my cat & give her treats which I have missed so much.

I don't know if it's the injections or God's handiwork, probably both, but I sure am enjoying not being confined to the wheel chair for the time being.

Jan I will very soon reply back to your message and share more about my stim. will say very wise to not have permenate one if trial didnt help!!
I just want you to know I have heard from many that cortisone injections ,nerve blocks and that sort of thing are very very helpful. so it is so great to hear the shot has be benifical to you also! dont over do it when your out of chair but make sure you relish every second you are!
I too cry when certian anivs approach and for somethings its been years and years. I think it just human to be like that.
You have all of us as second family and please know we all care and are here for you.
PEACE
BMW

SOMETIMES, I think tears are forms of healing...

I wish I can offer better words but cannot do better than others...

Who Moi - if tears are a part of healing why don't I feel some improvement. That was not meant to be caddy, I just can't control my gut wrenching tears at times. No, this doesn't happen all the time but when I "lose control" I feel like I am back to square one.

The Bible says we can't have true peace until we confront the issue. I don't really know how to relieve this stress. I guess maybe God led me to this forum for a reason.

I was searching for something else and came across this thread....
does anyone know what happened to catluver123? It's been almost a year since she posted.