I just don’t even know what to say any more. I haven’t been posting, just lurking and reading your posts. I am just so heartbroken, and though I know you will all be helpful,
I do worry about being a dark cloud to the group.

This week has always been hard for me, the 5th is my wedding anniversary….it should be a happy day, but it isn’t. Since Lynn’s Alzheimer’s it is a day that saddens me, reminding me of what once was, and never will be again. The 6th is the anniversary of when I lost my baby….. And now Dad’s service is the 7th.

I have been planning his service, I find it healing in it’s own way. The marble plaque I had made with my poem will be read, then I will place it on his grave. I have been searching for a token, something to give my Moms and siblings after the service.
I came across the Reunion Heart. It touched me. I made little gift bags with the heart, a laminated card of the poem, and a packet of forget me not seeds.

In case you haven’t read the poem, I thought I would share it here…..

The Reunion Heart..

Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I'm so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I'd grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.

God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we'll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece

He'll turn to joy my every tear
with thoughts of you I hold so dear
and they'll become my special way
to treasure our Reunion Day.

Attached Thumbnails

 

Please Niki...don't worry about being a dark cloud for talking about what you are feeling and what you have to go through. That's the reason for this forum...it's to hold each other up when we're falling apart..it's for those awful anniversary dates.

We kid alot here because if we didn't, we couldn't stand the pain. We wonder a lot and sometimes I worry that new people won't understand that we really do "get it"....

I loved the poem and wasn't familiar with it. I hope having this service will bring some closure for you..some peace with your dads' decision.

We are here for you.

((Nik-key)) I think all of us at some point don't want to come in and tell others what's going on. I know I often keep things to myself. But I bet there would be many people here who would take private messages with open arms, for those times you really want to talk, vent, etc., but not in the open forums.

That Reunion Heart is absolutely beautiful, as is the poem. Hugs and love.

Nik,

did you know that behind every dark cloud, there is:



and...

click on this and find out

please keep writing your thoughts and your poetries. Great for expression and great for release, and great for the forum

That was sooo cute. I even got a big smile. Thanks, just what I needed

hang in there ... hang on to your family, your friends and hang on to us. You will make it threw this hard tough week.I think God , heavens angels and your Dad are all right next to you. (so are we )

It means a great deal to have you all supporting me at this difficult time.
I am of course crying all the time, harder and harder as Saturday draws near.
I am nervous as hell, I fear I will have another TIA stoke! I soooo hope that doesn't happen, my family will have a hard enough day.

Thank you for being here, for giving me a safe place to share. I do know that you all know what I am going through and it helps.

((Nik-key))

I'll be holding you close in my thoughts and prayers on Saturday.