BJ, so glad you are home with your furry friend.

Please know that we care about you and pray you get the help you need.

Dear BJ,
Hospital stays are traumatic.
The important thing is that they stitched you up and and got your lithium back up. It seemed that you were on a spiral staircase and needed some professionals to get you back on level ground again.
The out patient time will help you transition from hospital to the world.

And tell your pdoc what happened. He'll believe you. If he doesn't, that is his problem.


Please choose to stay in the world. Make that that choice to live.

M.

So sorry the hospital experience wasn't what you'd thought it would be BJ, but I'm pleased you went. We were all so worried about you, and I thank you heaps for getting back to us!

Things have to get better now!

We're all on your side, and I don't want you to forget that.

Big hugs heading your way BJ, and I look forward to reading your next post.

What's bothered me during the night is it sounds like something happened to you there, and you had no defence,no advocate,and no police. This should not happen to you,or anyone else.

Maybe their point system should be eliminated,if someone on the staff has found a way to manipulate,or intimidate people,especially when they are vulnerable. Brokenfriend

Bp Oh it is so nice to come here and see that you have posted and let us know how you are. Thanks for checking in. I am sorry You were treated the way you were when you were there.and I dislike hearing your own doc didnt meet you there like they had promised to you. . That makes me angry. but even more then that I'm glad you are back home able to hug and love hopper and be with all of us. We care and worry about eachother here. all of us want you to chose to live, to take baby steps and continue to get help .and that isnt easy . exspecialy when you feel frightened and afraid to share when something bad happens to you. I think maybe finding another t talk is a good idea. but i know lots of time you have to take the doc they send you to . I went threw at least 6 talk docs myself beofre i found one i felt comfortable with and connected to. and that changed my life around.
I pray the same for you BP. never give up on yourself or on life. the universe is a woNderful place and YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON! I beleive you can baby step your way threw this..one day at a time. Slow but sure you can do it. We are here to help eachother make it threw the hard sad lonely depressing times. help eachother get up and help eachother keep going forward. We are here for you. And WE ARE GLAD YOU ARE HERE FOR US!!!!!
Keeping you in my prayers and healing thoughts BP
PEACE
BMW
P.S. I AM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN HERE TO SEE THIS SOONER. I HAVE BEEN THINKING AND WORRYING ABOUT YOU PRAYING FOR THE BEST.

That also makes me angry that her doctor didn't meet her there. I'd start making confrontations, and ask why the doc didn't come,and I'd talk to the Hospital administrator about what happened in there.

I'd be too angry to not do it. I use to stuff anger down,and other feelings. Repressed feelings are not good. Let them out in the right place,at the right time. That's where the psychologist,"How did that make you feel",get started. BF

Alffe I’ve never read that book but maybe I should because it’s so hard to accept I’m bipolar. They have it at Amazon for $11.16 and I just ordered it. I thought when I was diagnosed I would take a pill and be all better. This isn’t what I expected at all.

Bizi I don’t remember now if I purposely didn’t take my meds or I just forgot. I was out of control and only had one thing on my mind. The last day I know I was psychotic because I saw my parents and Mark sitting in my yard.

I was hearing voices. They were against me. They kept saying I'm going to hell because God will not forgive someone like me. More than once, these voices have told me to hurt myself, and they almost succeeded, but I didn't do it. But these "voices" made sure to remind me that I'm so weak I can't even control my own life. They told me I didn't exist. If I don't exist then it doesn't matter because no one will ever notice. All things in life are bigger than me so why bother. That’s when I decided to go to the ER.

Doody I went to a new therapist but ended up leaving in tears. We started slow with the meet and greet talk and then she brought up Mark and I broke down so we didn’t go there. Then we chatted some more and the mood lightened and I felt comfortable. Then she hit me with the bombshell. She asked if she could talk to one of my other “selves”. I told her I don’t have any others but me and I walked out. My tdoc that fired me told me that I have dissociative amnesia, I block out the hurt of my past by going into my bubble where no one can hurt me, that's it, no other selves.

I didn’t mention what happened at the hospital and I didn’t mention to my pdoc how disappointed I was that she didn’t meet me. I’m so afraid she’ll make me go back. I just feel so violated and no amount of showers is taking it away. And in the group session I just sat in the corner, never said a word. It’s just a waste of time but I have to go. I'm just so disappointed with the system.

Oh ((BJ)). You were in such a state. When you mentioned that your brother talked to you and said negative things...well, it was clear that you weren't doing well.

I'm so sorry about that therapist you saw. Keep looking! They are out there! Or, come here and stay with me and go to the wonderful woman here. It's like talking with a very good and compassionate friend. That one you saw sounds like a bit of a dingbat.

It's so nice that you have our dear Bizi and other bipolar folks here to talk with. My best friend, Penny, of 43+ years is also bipolar, though there have been times I have thought they have the diagnosis wrong. She also seems so borderline personality disorder to me, but I'm not a doc. About a month or so ago, she had not been taking her meds and there was a terrible mess with her involving her granddaughter (whom she is raising). I asked her, "ARE you taking your meds?" She looked at me stunned and said, No I guess I haven't.

Unfortunately we have to take on our med responsibilities for ourselves. I HAD to buy a daily pill box thing and I put my week's worth of pills in there or I'd never remember. I can take a pill and 15 seconds later not know for sure if I took it. Dunno why, but it happens every single time I take one.

I'm just so sorry you had a very bad time in the hospital and hope that you can work through that.

We love you sweetie!

Slurpy smooches and tailwags from Bruna.

Oh BP you have every right to let your doc know how dissappointed and unprofessional it was for them to promise you theyd be there and then not show to meet you. That person deserves to hear that your not a happy go lucky about being treated that way. I am really sorry how things went but ya know what you went you are getting back on track with meds and self..so High fives BP. that you should be proud of.. be proud of yourself darling because I am. I am Glad your back here with us and home with hopper.
I dont know a whole bunch about bipolar but i do have and had friends with it.
You need to make sure you take your meds because that is a big way to take care of you. Get the weekly pill box and that way youll know if you have taken them. I know others have mentined it is a exellent solution to being on top of the meds. Give hooper a big doggie squeeze and belly rub from me.
keep taking baby steps minute by minute and day by day . and remember we all are here for you! we care and we believe you can get threw this your a great person all of us can see that how caring and supportive and well heck your special to all of us and i hope you know and feel that!
Peace on you Barb... BP

just wanted to give you a goodnight (((hug))) BJ and let you know I am praying for you.

you have a bunch of true friends here who really care about you so please know you can always talk to us....whether on the board or by PM we are here for you

praying for a peaceful night for you and Hooper.