I want to offer you hugs also. BF

Thank you for sharing Bj.
The therapy sessions sound hard to handle.
Any one there who might be someone to befriend?
It is very humbling to hear of others stories knowing that you are not alone in this struggle.
And this makes me angry:
....the therapist received information from the other therapist notes.
Just because you disassociate doesn't mean you have
DID....diassociative identity disorder (multiple personalities).

Our mental health systems work so poorly to manage an over loaded system...There are many many stories of abuse at facilities, they should have seperate wings for men and women...in my opinion.

Being Bipolar 1 myself I can relate to your psychotic features, have had those in the past although I have never experienced voices, mine were visual and delusional thinking, false beliefs....very scarey stuff when you are in the throws of it.

ARe you taking an antipsychotic medication? I have taken haldol which was awful, seroquel, made my legs jump, and now I take geodon, a low dose as sort of insurance because I am not manic and haven't been for 5 years. My mood stabilizer is lamictal, it has antidepressant qualities as well. I have been stable on this for a couple of years now....have had a bit of hypomania now and then but nothing that I could not handle.
In the past, The only antidepressant that I could take was welbutrin...I think that is really the only safe one to take for BP1.
Have you tried this before?

What meds are you taking?
If you don't want to share PM if you want.

Until recently, I was taking a sleeping pill but was feeling it was making me groggy in the mornings so have not taken that for a month now.

In the past I have taken anti anxiety meds, xanax, klonipin for increased stress, physical symptoms, rapid heart rate, palpitations.
Sleep issues as well.
In time I no longer needed those.I have learned how to deal with my stress, make a routine for myself, stick to a scheduale as much as possible, have great family support, eat well and play with my cats.

I have an obcessive nature and can ruminate with the best of them...this is where I have to use my head and distract myself from myself.
Does this make sense?

l know that there are a lot of people who care about you....I am one of them.
This is hard work...I know that I keep saying that...it is true....
there are no easy quick fixes..you must just take it as it comes doing each day one at a time....
You can do this....
I have faith in you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

BJ. It's time to go to another therapist. She's experimenting with you. Don't receive what she tried to imply.

You are a child of God. Try to let go of the false condemnation. That was a imagination. False condemnation,and low self esteem go hand,in hand. Just let the imagination fad away.

You will be OK. You have been through a really heard time. It's almost like the book of Job. You have been hit by 4 symbolic wind storms. The storms will subside,and you will be OK.

Get away from that new doctor as soon as you can. She's trying to create something that isn't there. I'd be fuming angry by that point. You are rolling with the punches,but get away from that new doctor. You do not have Multiple Personality disorder. That lady is experimenting with you.

Try to get another therapist as soon as possible. BF

I just wanted to say that I love you Bizi and you make me very proud.

BJ..I hope you and Biz are pming because I know she can help you...she has walked in your shoes..all I can do is love you.

Dear BJ,
If you feel like it....use this thread as a blog, a place that you can keep open, write out your feelings, people can check back to it and keep it going this way we can easily see how you are doing by coming to your thread. This thread.
does this make sense?
bizi

this made me smile. i hope it does you and hooper too.

B.
I am thinking of you and I hope you have a pleasent day all day long. please know all of us are holding you in our thoughts and prayers !

(((BJ))) Hugs and love for you.

I'm thinking about you. Hugs,and love,love,love.

I hope that you are feeling better. BF

Dear BP,
You say that you don't accept that you have bipolar. Fine.
Do you accept that something is going on and you need help? Do you accept that you deserve help?


Here is something on Rogerian therapy. These people are not bossy or control freaks. They support their patients. I don't know how hard it is to find them, but I provide a link for that too. Put in your zip code. Then do a major interview on the phone. Ask the therapist about what they do and how they handle cases like yours.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person-..._psychotherapy
Find a Rogerian Therapist:
http://www.findcounseling.com/glossa...n-therapy.html



Also,
I strongly recommend "body work" such as message, accupunture, yogic breathing exercise, saunas, hot baths with magnesium salts, meditation (with a therapist), chanting, . . .

Sometimes when we can't do the work through our minds, we can do the work through our bodies.
]Body work has helped me immensely and I recommend a try.

Regarding therapists: I like the one I have now. She is in her 60s and a wise woman. A friend who was a social worker recommended always looking for a therapist with vast and long experience. The friend told me that you have a better chance of getting someone good if they are someone who has lots of exerience.

Part of me wants to tell you to take a break from therapists. The other part of me thinks that you need a therapist for the simple reason that you need to be able to call someone. You need someone on your side.

Are you having to go to group sessions even though you are out now?
Get through them as best you can.
We are all pulling for you.

Mari