BJ,

remember when you wrote this a few weeks back? It still touches me til this day...I go back and read it from time to time...

in your own words, BJ

don't forget it...

Life is such a graph, isn't it? Ups and downs with all emotions and situations. Nothing is ever constant. There are so many wonderful advices given to you. Not ALL of them will apply to you at once. But each one will "fit" at one time or another...

I think life is sorta like an eternal puzzle. As we all try to piece it together...things will "fit" here and there...

I KNOW and deeply believe that you WILL get the more complete puzzle as you stroll along...

and each time one of them applies and fits, I think you'll realize how much you are WORTHY of this world...

you HAVE a family here in this here them forum...

I am just honored to call you and others here my friends...truly honored..

keep strolling...

I do remember when I wrote that Moi because it was tearing me up inside and I had to get it out. And my old tdoc that fired me told me life is like a puzzle but you have to be able to put in the corners first. And I can't get those corners to fit right now. My mind is all over the place and I can't get it to settle down. Maybe if I wasn't BP I'd be able to but I can't. I only know of one thing and I can't stop, it distracts my mind.

BMW thank you and I know it wasn't my fault I did nothing, but it happened and I'm the one left to live with the scars. And the scars are deep and they hurt.

HI there girlie,
The thing with healing our wounds....like a cut....there will always be certain parts that are jagged and if we fuss with them ...this interfers with the healing, possibly reopening the wound.
We must learn to be careful of the wound... tend to it... nurture it and let it heal. Ultimately This takes a long time....the surface closes first and then the interior heals from the inside out.
As with any wound there may be a scar that is left behind....for the skin is forever changed when it is has been harmed or when it has been seriously injured. This scar is new skin...actually different from the original skin. In a way as a reminder to be careful of this area. It is fragile.
It has been forever changed...and so are you.
It is amazing how our bodies heal.
IN time I do believe that you will learn alternative ways of expressing your self, touching your feelings and redirecting your thoughts and actions.
Ask for help from those of us who are here to support you.
Please post on the bipolar forum too.
I bumped up a few threads for you there if you have time this weekend.
The chat rooms usually have people there thru out the day and evening usually. very nice folks to chat with, reach out and connect to as many people as possible...we are in this boat together.
Don't give up.........you are loved.
bizi

BJ...Hang in there. I wish I had something better to say. I'm wrestling with my own thorn in the flesh. God help us. Brokenfriend

BJ. Actually your doc quit,and left you alone in your pain,and she walked away leaving you in more pain. Not fair. BF

Hi, BJ,

That old tdoc was such a piece of garbage. And bossy.

There are many ways to do a puzzle. One does not have to do the corners first like she said. One can do certain colors first. . . I've even heard of doing a type of medication to see the puzzle by "listening." . . . and so on.

I wish that I could help you feel better about yourself. When you know in every fiber of your being that you deserve to feel better, you start to make small steps in the direction you need.

Mari

(((((BJ)))))
I so agree with Mari on the many ways to build a puzzle, Sounds to me like that old tdoc was trying to make you fit their mold instead of helping you develop in your own unique one!

It doesnt matter where you start to put the puzzle together BJ, and it doesnt matter how long it takes to finish it, or even if you ever do. God sees the whole picture and He can make the pieces fit!



sending you much love and healing prayers

psych central chat room link:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/chat.php


bipolar world Chat room:
http://www.bipolarworld.net/Community/webchat.html

"The first step and the first piece of the puzzle is always the hardest..."

BJ, I am so sorry I missed all these posts. I have been deep in my own pain and in the hospital, I am so sorry I wasn't able to help lift you up. I am glad you are doing better, and I am also, so very sorry for the pain you are in. Each of our pain, is ours alone, but in a group like this... we can at least find people who have an inkling of what we are going through.

I just need to say one thing...and I am just bawling as I try to do so, I can't tell you how proud I am of you, that you were brave enough to reach out for help! There are all kinds of heroes in this world, I consider those who expose all, and admit they need help, and seek it, among the bravest.

Do take care of you, and please keep us posted on how you are doingNikki