It is now 2am UK time, and I’m compelled to write this as if I keep it in, I know my head will explode..

On Tuesday when I last wrote a thread, I never included an event that had taken place earlier that day at work.
A young man at work who I will call BOB returned to the hostel at 8am he came in and went straight to his room. At 8.30 am he came to the office, and asked to phone his mental health worker, saying he felt he needed to be in hospital. After his phone call I asked him to come in the lounge and talk with me. Bob explained he had an argument in the morning with his mothers neighbour. He had been at home for a few days. He told me the neighbour had complained at 6am about him playing loud music. He told me if she had been nice it would have been ok, instead she was [understandably annoyed] He told me he wanted to kill her and her kids. He then told me he felt suicidal and had thoughts of hurting others. He was saying how worthless he was and life would be better without him in it. He also told me he was hearing voices, when I asked what they were saying he told me the voices were saying ‘go on kill yourself ‘ or ‘go on hurt that person. I told BOB he had done a commendable thing by ringing his mental health worker, and I praised him for recognising all was not right. When I asked Bob if he had been taking his meds, Efexor and Quietapine, he told me he had not and had flushed them away down the toilet. He said he did not like feeling zombiefied. I told him that if his leg was broken would he expect his leg to be put in plaster, he confirmed yes. I then said your mind is broken at present Bob and that medication is there to help you heal.
He told me he had not told his health worker how he had been feeling recently and I told him that when he arrived he must tell him everything. When this person arrived I asked Bob to repeat all the things he told me. I left the room to give them privacy.
5 minutes later Bob went upstairs I went out and met the health worker in the lobby. I expressed my deep concerns and stated that very rarely do young men state they want to go into hospital Bob is 17 years old. He said ‘he is calmer now, we will go and get a coffee and have a chat, and all will be ok’.

Later on they returned the worker told me Bobs medication had been increased by the consultant and they were picking it up later. He once again stated he is calm now. I said surely he should be hospitalised, the worker said that the hospital now prefer home intervention. ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I was off on Wednesday and Thursday, I went into to work today Friday at 2pm /now Saturday 4am
I was confronted by staff telling me that on Thursday evening Bob had gone out and returned after getting into a fight where he had been assaulted. He then behaved uncharacteristically, and made sexual advances to a female night worker, this is a boy who is usually is frightened of his own shadow, never talks to staff, and is agoraphobic. The night worker told him to behave and he started again talking of suicide and went upstairs retrieved all his newly prescribed meds and went out, he returned half an hour later stating he had taken them all, wrote a suicide note and asked for an ambulance he lay on the floor with the urge to sleep and though the night worker tried to keep him conscious he became unconscious very quickly. The emergency services arrived but they had him outside in the ambulance for 45 mins before driving off.
I was told by staff that this boy was in intensive care in a critical condition ………….i have since been told by his sister he is very ill and may be brain damaged as he stopped breathing for some period of time and has high toxicity in his blood levels.

I Am angry because health professionals never listen to others, they feel they know it all, and your observations count for absolutely nothing,. This young man was crying out for help and they ignored those cries and instead upped his meds… this may have helped if he had been taking them properly ..yet he had not been taking the previous dose correctly…which in its self exhaserbated his state of mind.

I was supposed to leave work at 10 pm, the night worker who had been present was asked to work at another hostel and that worker was due to work here.

At nine pm the Sister of Bob came to the hostel with her husband, they wanted to check his room for notes, and his mobile phone for text messages……….and just when you need a manager as normal no one is available……..no night manager ill….on call manager not answering telephone,…..usual; crap.

I sat with Bobs family and explained the night before events, I also felt it was right for them to see his note, he left behind… they left not feeling the need to go in his room for which I felt relieved because technically they could not do this [procedure]

The night worker was due here at 9.30pm it was now 10pm, no managers to help out the agency where the worker was from took forever to get back to me, and in a nut shell I’m here now until 8am tomorrow.

17 YEARS OF AGE is no age at all …………and this sucks so much………..i’m writing this to vent my frustration with the medical profession, my own company , the whole sorry event,

a tragedy that was preventable……………yet in my opinion inevitable………..sometimes personal insight is a curse, because as loud as I shout out [metaphorically] help this person no one hears and the world still turns.

David

My apologies but I needed to get my thoughts out…for my own self preservation I suppose.



It is now 9.30am as i post this

words fail me right now. this is so tragic and avoidable.

I wish there was something I could say to make this all better, but we both know that's impossible.

A 17 year old should have his whole life ahead of him, and I'm sorry that he got to the stage where he felt that society had let him down.

This is such a sad story David, and I hope and pray that "Bob" makes it through this tough time. I also hope that he'll find the support that he needs when his fight is over.

More sorrow indeed. Mental illness is an invisible illness as you well know David. Education begins with a desire for understanding...knowing what mental illness is and appreciating how those affected with it live their daily lives.

When a mentally ill person loses control — by not taking medications, self-medicating with alcohol or other drugs, being over stimulated or aggravated, or other trigger episodes they are said to be in crisis. Anybody who is in crisis is out of control and is desperately trying to find a means to get back into control.

And hopefully those involved would have as much training as possible in how to help, rather than add to the problem.

Our country's solution to the problems of the mentally ill was to open the doors and let everyone go out..armed with prescriptions of course. And now they are living on the street corners, beggin on the buses, slashing us in the parking garages..well you get the idea.

We don't want to see them...we want them to remain invisible...we know that we are supposed to love one another but how can we be expected to love someone who is so dirty and who scares us.

(playing devils advocate here...~sigh. Where is Tim Russert when I so desperately need to be reminded of his "heart exercise".)

I hope for the best for the 17 year old David but I really expect the worst.

(((David)))

David

That poor kid - another one falls through the cracks. Bless your heart for caring for this young man. I suspect that's what he needed most. While it's true we are all special, it's also true we are all worthless. In the end, we're all just dust in the wind. I think what keeps us going from day to day is knowing we have people in our lives who care about us, and we have people in our lives we care about.

If that "professional" could have taken his head out of his books for one moment, he would have seen YOU were the professional in this instance. YOU knew the kid better.

It's difficult to compare a broken leg to a broken mind. People are usually sympathetic and tender to a person with a broken bone. With a broken mind, people are usually suspicious and fearful. To a person who is feeling worthless, it would only make matters worse. You can perform x-rays to see if a broken bone has mended, but there's no sure-fire way to fix a broken mind or prove it has been healed.

Medication that makes a person feel like a "zombie" doesn't sound therapeutic to me. It sounds more therapeutic for society (safety and control) than it does for the patient.

I'll keep Bob in my prayers - and you too.

David,
Thank you for your care and concern. it makes me angry when the "professional's" do not listen.... I to hope the best for this 17 year old and i will remember him and his family in my prayers....

David, I am so sorry you had to bear this. I know deep down you must feel so bad. You did everything you could and it was out of your hands. This truly saddens me. I am at a loss for soothing words but filled with a million questions, as I am sure you are. Hugs.

(((David))) I'm so sorry you went through this with the young man. Certainly you didn't need that on your plate at all. You are so compassionate. He was lucky to have talked with you, but you can't do everything for everyone.

It amazes me the things that happen at emergency rooms as well when it comes to mental problems. I'll never forget how I was treated only a couple of years ago when I literally was losing my mind when going off Paxil much too fast. They actually sent me home and told me to ride it out. It was awful, but luckily the next day I saw my own doctor and he helped tremendously.

Medical people should know better.

You take care of yourself dear heart.

bump...*bigsigh...