this remains one of my very favorite analogies...

i had a terrible dream last night. i had a dream that i was walking around the city with a few other people, and there was a whole block of buildings being demolished and i some how with a bunch of other people got caught in one...i made it out alive....

and then later in my dream, i was trying to find this dunkin donuts to meet mike and a bunch of people, and when i got there mike kissed me and was being nice and stuff, and then i see that there are 2 girls in his truck and i go over and flip out, and pull them out of the truck and im legit fighting them. and mike is kinda standing there with a smirk on his face, like i knew she would do this and he didnt say anything but thinking about it now its making me sick.

i dont want that to mean he expects me to do anything for him. th elook on his face was kinda like "haha stupid girl, i can do anything and you think its everyone elses fault"

i feel so sick right now, i really hope thats not the case, i cant picture him being malicious to me ever but maybe hes just hiding it really well and laughing at me in his head.

oh my god i feel like im going to pass out.

I really wouldn't put a lot of stock into your dreams ((Meg)). They can be totally off base. Because of your relationship with him, and him seeming to want to back out of it, you're in turmoil over the whole thing. It doesn't surprise me at all that you are dreaming about him.

Again, I say don't take the dream to the bank. For instance...after my sister died, I had a recurring dream that her ashes were delivered to my door in a pizza box. Who knows why! (I didn't eat pizza for quite some time.)

Some kind of coping mechanism but who knows!

I think Mike needs to take a back seat in your life for awhile while you concentrate on your own growth and getting the doctor's help for your anxiety.

Oh, I've had a couple of panic attacks and ya know what? Each of them were when someone I desperately loved cheated on me and left me. I was devastated. That was almost 15 years ago and I'm doing fine in that regard now.

Sweet dreams tonight.

my pdoc doesnt look promising for help...hes mean and just perscribed me stuff to get me out of the office

i feel so dizzy

aaaawwwwww Meg -- that's too bad
Maybe it was a bad day for him and you next visit will be better?
Maybe first visits are always a little scary?
Maybe the guy is just a second class creep and you can look for a different one?
DO you have another appointment that you can use to "try again"?
We will all be right behind you - holding you tight.

my next appointment is on friday afternoon. im kinda dreading going. :/

((Meg)) What did he prescribe? Don't give up hope. The medicine merry-go-round can get very frustrating because it takes time to find the right med. And, if you're not happy with that doc, keep looking. I had some really yucky ones til I found the right one.

generic xanax. he said take it when i need it...and i feel like i need it just thinking about how hard this is gonna be with this guy. ngffjghfjhgvbjhb

Oh, okay, I wondered what he might prescribe. Xanax is supposed to help with those 'nerves', calming and sedating. I thought he might prescribe something that you'd need to take on a daily basis.

I have 2 friends who take Buspar, and both of them have said when they first take it it makes them dizzy...so I kinda wondered.

If it doesn't help when you have your attacks, be sure and let him know! Oh that's right, you have another appt. Well, be sure to let him know how it works for you when you do have an anxiety attack. Those things are just awful.

Be sure and baby yourself and do soothing things to make yourself feel better too.

i want a big ice cream sandwich or a chocolate shake or any of the cakes being posted in the betetr then sex thread so badly.i feel like today was a big step for me and i deserve a pat on the back, or an overload of calories. haha