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-   -   Bad thoughts (https://www.neurotalk.org/survivors-of-suicide/54316-bad.html)

Burntmarshmallow 09-17-2008 07:34 AM

i just read all the posts here and somehow i feel very very embarrased. i dont want anyone of my family here to think i am a bad person or anything. today i am just dropping off the rest of my applications then coming back home and getting some sleep Nikki is forcing me to make sure i get some sleep and my body is too :( my stomach is just a big knot i havent eatten much at all and now I think I am getting a cold or an allergy. and all that has my t.n, a.d. pain dancing on my face and head. So sleep will be nice probly take a benadryl allergy tablet too and a warm cuppa tea with toast.
i dont want anyone thinking i am a bad or dumb person or that i dont care . I replyed to some of the messages i got but not all of them cus i am just so tired and stressed and not feeling well right now. i am go9ing to try and hit some of the threads in here before i am off but i will be back later. all the strength and kindness and love i have gotten from all of you is wraped and curled around my heart and soul. thankyou for caring and being so supportive. I LOVE YOU .:hug::grouphug::hug: yes yes alffe mom hanging tough best as i can. :hug:
PEACE
BMW

Wren 09-17-2008 07:52 AM

:hug: BMW...... :hug:
I care .... and I worry.
If I lived nearby I'd be there holding different plates of cookies in each hand ..... that's the best I can do.

Nik-key 09-17-2008 08:21 AM

My dear sweet Angel friend :hug: I have to go to the doctors and am running late... but HAD to reply to this.

Firstly... I LOVE YOU

Secondly.....NO ONE here would EVER think you were "dumb"
"stupid" or a "bad person" !!
I am not a violent person by nature. In
fact I am highly against it. But, I have to tell you.... it is probably
a very good thing I do not live close to you! I could not sit by and
watch my Angel friend be beat down like this. :mad:

I have only had physical fights with one person... my sisters ex
after he beat her. Lord I can't tell you how that made me feel.
My dad went with his gun, my brothers with just their fists..
and me with my Red Sox bat....and got her and the kids out.
I attacked him :eek: No one was more shocked than I! But,
I tell you this, the next time he saw me, he ran. Coward.

Anyways back to your point Nik!!! Sweetie, you know.. it just
rips me up that anyone could hurt you like this. I am trying hard
to put my Mamma Bear instincts aside here.... Let me just say
for each hurtful word said ….for each "blow" you receive...
I will give you 10 times as many wonderful words, and lifts
to your spirit and your soul!

Please, do not be embarrassed.... you reached out. And, I am
so very proud of you!!!:hug::hug: I love you Angel friend of
mine! I will be here for you always:hug::hug: Love you~Nikki

who moi 09-17-2008 08:21 AM

mallow haid,

please do not feel embarassed...I don't think anyone would think that you are a BAD person?

You have always been very kind and supportive to many if not all...your little messages here and there make people feel loved and cared about...it's a gift you possess...

glad nik made you sleep...she's a good eggyolk...:)

don't worry about writing people back. They understand...

right now, take care of yourself first...you have to take care of your physical being as well as your mental being so you can face that tough situation at home better so you can have a plan...whatever that plan may be...

don't worry about us too much, just take care of you...

((((BIG HUGS))))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burntmarshmallow (Post 369947)
i just read all the posts here and somehow i feel very very embarrased. i dont want anyone of my family here to think i am a bad person or anything. today i am just dropping off the rest of my applications then coming back home and getting some sleep Nikki is forcing me to make sure i get some sleep and my body is too :( my stomach is just a big knot i havent eatten much at all and now I think I am getting a cold or an allergy. and all that has my t.n, a.d. pain dancing on my face and head. So sleep will be nice probly take a benadryl allergy tablet too and a warm cuppa tea with toast.
i dont want anyone thinking i am a bad or dumb person or that i dont care . I replyed to some of the messages i got but not all of them cus i am just so tired and stressed and not feeling well right now. i am go9ing to try and hit some of the threads in here before i am off but i will be back later. all the strength and kindness and love i have gotten from all of you is wraped and curled around my heart and soul. thankyou for caring and being so supportive. I LOVE YOU .:hug::grouphug::hug: yes yes alffe mom hanging tough best as i can. :hug:
PEACE
BMW


Burntmarshmallow 09-17-2008 09:29 AM

please follow link and visit my post ....
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread42577-5.html
i am sorry that i again have jumped on top i dont meen to walk on everyone elses posts gosh i am a stupid i am soory about that!!!!!
but i want you all to visit link. t.y.
:grouphug:

mistiis 09-17-2008 10:11 AM

Good for Nikki....sleep is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL...and as Moi says...YOU ARE NOT STUPID you are BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL and you don't need to answer just try to get some rest and know you are loved...

Alffe 09-17-2008 10:26 AM

Amen to that! You're a beauty Tina. Hugs for the room.:grouphug:

DM 09-17-2008 01:13 PM

http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1...c9iobakdct.gif

Crwstar 09-17-2008 01:53 PM

Dear BMW
 
It saddens me to read what you are experiencing. In the heart of my heart I embrace you knowing only the unstoppable truth about who you are. Here's the truth - You are worthy, valued, important, loved, intelligent and capable in the mind of God whose mind is the only one that really matters.
Continue to listen to the many many people who LOVE you and speak whether in the silent places of their heart or outloud GOOD thoughts that lift you and create a buoyancy of TRUTH about who you are. And let the remnants of embarrassment fall away - It is always a strong person who gives words to what's going on with them. You are a strong person!

please please please take the word "stupid" and its siblings out of your vocabulary. Nobody thinks these things of you. Your mind and heart are no place for such things. It is quite the mountain to deal with when someone relentlessly puts you down - I know, I grew up with it and watched my mother endure it for many years.

Much love to you :hug:

Nik-key 09-17-2008 02:15 PM

((BMW)) I like you at the top!! :D

I wonder if you would do your Angel friend just one favor?

For 24 hours.......... I wish for you NOT to call yourself stupid!
You can say, I am brave! I am loved! I am kind -giving -full of love etc..
or You can say Nik is a pain in my Butt!.........Anything but knocking
yourself down. Cause hell, then he wins! And, we can't allow that.

I posted in your other thread... still speechless.........

I love you Angel friend of mine:hug::hug::hug:


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