Originally Posted by Me BP?

I hope what I’m going to say makes sense. But I’m finding this whole thread quite disturbing. But first BMW, I’m so sorry what has happened and I hope things get sorted out.

But what has me disturbed is the comment about “individual” posts. Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide or who has urges like I do knows that you tend to isolate yourself, withdraw, feel alone. But when I come here and see a thread started for me it reminds me that I’m not alone, someone really does care. True, sometimes I just hit the thanks button and can’t think what to say but most of the time it draws me out, makes me talk. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? You’re supposed to talk about it, relive it no matter how painful it is. It’s no good to internalize it. I know that and I try but it’s hard. But now, I don’t know anymore. I feel like I’ve lost my family here. I have no family left and I hope things turn around and get back to the way they were. I don’t know what happened here, I don’t know why people feel out of sorts but I need you, I need to know that we’re all in this together. Please. I wouldn't be here without you all, you've saved my butt so many times and no matter what happens I'll be eternally grateful.

Originally Posted by Doody

I am not privy to everything that is said 'behind the scenes' of SOS. So, I hope I make sense here.

There seem to be concerns about how SOS is handled on a day to day basis. Rather than PM back and forth between a few members, why not discuss this openly and decide on how SOS should be handled???

There are people who feel the daily posts are too frivolous and don't address the needs of lurkers and members alike. Some feel that certain posts do not get the attention that they should.

I've been looking at all the other forums here. I see a lot that are not that active and those that are...well, such as MS. They have different needs to talk about. They can talk about medicines, cures, what helps, what doesn't.

In SOS, we don't have different medicines to talk about, really. We don't have different 'cures' to talk about, really. Or am I wrong about that.

We don't have a 'Stumble Inn'. We don't have a group of people with headaches to talk about medicines and such with. We don't have a group of people with arthritis to discuss current meds and events with. We don't have MS. We don't all have fibromyalgia to discuss cures for.

What we do have is, mostly, people who have been touched by suicide in one way or another. So...how do we approach that on a daily basis?

So, I ask again, how do we fix this?

Do we need a 'Stumble Inn' for SOS people? Or is that what the Wonder Threads are supposed to be for? Do we need some kind of sub-forum?

I don't feel that the SOS people have ignored others. I really don't. But...some people do feel that way, so again, I ask...

How do we fix this?

Instead of messaging back and forth behind the scenes, can we as a group of SOSers come to some kind of agreement as to how the SOS forum should be run?

Do you have a suggestion for our own 'Stumble Inn' type of place?

Should some of us not be here?

I'm totally confused, so I do believe someone here should suggest how to fix this. Do we need a room set up where we can all discuss it? A private room? A social room?

I come in here on days and am met with total confusion because I don't know what is going on, BUT I do know something is going on.

So please get in here and tell me what it is you envision for SOS. Or tell me where we can all discuss it like the adults that we are rather than talk in private.

We're all involved in this here. How in the world can we help when we don't know what is bothering our friends?

The potential and current members are important to ALL of us here!

Originally Posted by Av8rgirl

I would like to thank David for his wonderful post and use some of it to help put into perspective what I have been trying to get across to everyone.

Mutual support. I am not trying to break apart the friendships that have formed among you who have been here for so long. I am a relative newcomer to this forum and I know that. What I am trying to point out to you is that recently it has become painfully apparent to outsiders and new members that the support is not as forthcoming as it used to be. It has to be asked for, it is not freely given. I mentioned the new thread that was posted informing you of a new member who needed support. A few months ago that would not have been needed, it would have come natural to this forum.

Something has changed, maybe it's just the time of year, maybe it's people are busy, whatever, but it's very obvious to me who has been here for awhile that this is not as cohesive a group anymore that something is wrong. I am sorry I opened the door but it needed to be said. We are a good group of people who need to be back together helping each other. I, for one, miss all of you. We don't need to be laughing and funny all the time, that's not what I am saying, but I don't feel like the cohesiveness is here anymore for whatever reason and I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way.

As David said, suicide is a tragic event in anyone's life. It's not something you shake off easily. We come here to find a way to deal with it, not to come here to deal with "other stuff." I get way too much reality in my own life, what I need is to learn how to deal with the tragic realities. How do you deal. What comes next. I know we all have our own personalities and thank goodness for that because life would be boring, so please try to understand what I am so poorly trying to say...don't leave without trying to work through the reasons. This is an important forum. There are reasons why we are here.

Thank you all for listening to me and again, I never meant to offend or hurt anyone. I also did not point fingers at anyone nor was it my intention for anyone to leave...my wish is for you all to step back and take a look at the forum. Could it use some improvement? If not, then I am seeing things that are not there. I will admit that I have been wrong, and will be wrong again. I am not always right....OMG! Flygirl wrong Yes, tis true...