((Mistiis)) It makes perfect sense
My trouble is I grieve, as I love.. with all that I am.
It isn't that I try to run from these feelings....
I feel them maybe TOO much. Then my system
just sort of reaches a place where it says ok..
enough.. and I sort of shut down. Hard to explain.
Thank you for being here, you are a wonderful person
full of compassion and love. I appreciate all of your support

{{{Nikki}}}...I really do understand that, or at least, I think I do. Communication can be so hard sometimes. I tend to do the same thing. I guess you could say that we are very passionate people and jump into things including love and pain with all that we have. We feel everything so intensely, the love, the joy, the pain. But you are being hit with so much at one time. Its overload!!!! You so amaze me. You inspire me. You make me want to reach even deeper. But what I am really hoping is that you can get some extra rest...give your body the extra nutrients it needs. Keep coming here to be lifted with laughter and understanding. Have to keep extra endorphins flowing....

Computer ....600 dollars

Internet connection ....50 dollars

Unconditional, loving support.. Priceless!!

Ahh I feel you really do understand exactly the way I am
feeling and grieving. Not sure why that helps so much...
but it does!! ((Mistiis))

My sister who lives with me, my twin.. she thinks she may
like to go. We are so much alike, yet SO different. It never
ceases to amaze me.

My brothers never did go often to these functions. But, one
is so much like my Dad it is scary. I now find I am worried all
the time about him. I am told this too is "normal" the fear of
losing someone else this way.

My sister who is coming home for a visit, now she is so much
like me I often wonder if we were meant to be triplets.. just
8 years apart. Her first instinct, as was mine.. are they crazy?
A "family" reunion? Dad is gone! How can there be a reunion?

At first I was a bit baffled as to how something so loving as
my family getting together, a reunion - would cause such a
gut wrenching reaction in me. But now, I think that it is so hard..
because the ONE thing I want most in this world IS a reunion with
my Dad. I long for it deeply. I just have to keep telling myself,
I have to wait...

((((Nikki)))))..and your..((((family))))...including..(((your dad)))...I hope it doesn't hurt that I put that there because I am sure it will elicit a lot of emotions, conflicting ones. I can tell that you love your dad so very much. He was, and is, an important part of your life. And **ll yes it hurts that they think they can have a family reunion when he can't be there. And that raises a lot of conflicting emotions. I think I can understand your feelings about your brother. We all react to things differently and handle emotions differently. And it is obvious that you love and care about your family A LOT!!! I am glad that you have them to surround you. I like the way you started your post....it really made me smile....I got warm fuzzies all over. ...my brain can't think anymore....I think I need to feed it.....

((((((((Nik-Key)))))))))))))

((((((Mistiis))))))))))))))))))))

((Mistiis)) Thank you so much. It does make me sad, but..
I thank you for thinking of my Dad too I sent you a PM...
but wanted to say here as well... your support means a great
deal to me

I am still in "my bad place" but, I have decided to stop beating
myself up for it and because of it. I didn't go to my families weekly
get together yesterday, as I knew I would have a melt down. Poor
dears have seen too many of those of late.

Time... it is going to take time. And of course my wondeful family here

nik,

everyone has said what I could say so all I can say is that you are one special lady...

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

will keep on keeping you and Lyn in our thoughts...