Oh thank you for checking back in!

I think so many of us push ourselves to the limit and don't realize that until we start to really fall apart. I know I've always been like that. End up at the hospital in terrible shape when it could have been prevented.

You do need help and it sounds like the doctors agree you need to take it easy.

It kinda reminds me, well it did remind me...of how I reacted to my sister's death. I immediately was all about putting things in order and being strong. Sorted through her stuff, put things where they belonged, etc., etc. My folks, however, grieved heavily, and anything they had of her's was kept out of sight. Just about the time they were ready to begin dealing with all of that, I totally fell apart (both physically and emotionally).

Just your grief process alone needs to be tended to, however that may be - and that includes taking care of yourself!

I hope the meds they gave you help tremendously. You are one special lady.

it shows more bravery to swallow your pride , to admit its mmkay to need and reach for help and even more courage to do that reach. so Follow doctors orders .Just like I asked you to promise to do in that last letter I mailed to you and like I posted on your profile page..... please do that. because you are an incredible extrodinary, amazing person. we need you just as much as you need us. so dose Lynn and your family!! so TAKE CARE OF YOU ,FOLLOW DOCS INSTRUCTIONS. and worry not about others but worry and care about yourself. Take your meds and rest. healing from what you are facing is going to take a long time , and with time and the things that happen along the way in that time will slowly help you heal.
Glad you posted i couldnt sleep a wink last night just out side a lot "wondering" to the sky. now i can grab a nap. still you are in my prayers.

Nikki

Nik-key

THE BUG IN THE CUP.................

allow those who care to pour out their love and support and slowly fill Up this cup

then
THE BUG WILL FLOAT TO THE TOP AND ESCAPE THAT TRAPPED SPACE.

David

Nik key
I would like to help lift you up. I have added you to my prayer list so tonight when I say my prayers, you will be raised up.

I remember when my mom committed suicide, I was strong through the beginning. I was the oldest and "had" to be there for everyone. Once the dust settled and I had time... It took me five months to break down.

I went to the hospital too. Just like you did. I finally asked for help. . Then again at 10 months, when my daughter and granddaughter moved out. I lost control and had to be admitted myself. I spent four days "under observation".

It was hard to admit that I needed help.
We are so proud of you that you called your Doctor and went for help!
Thank you for coming back and telling us how you are.

Coffee is always on....and I have boxes of kleenex at the ready.

How I wish we could all get together...

Thanks so much for checking in, Nikki. I guess you are "right on schedule." Hmmm, whoda thunk?

Hoping your heart and mind quit racing and that you can settle down and get some rest.

Holding you in prayer Nik-key

You guys are so sweet Thank you all
I feel drained- blank. Not sure if that is a good thing or not?
I have stopped sobbing, but know it will over take me again.
Next time I wont try to fight it so hard.

I am going to be good ((BMW)) and go rest some more.. but had
to get on to share a couple of things with you. My sis brought in the
mail today and said there is a package for you. I didn't recognize the
address... I opened it and clasped my heart. Inside were copies of most
of the medals and decorations my Dad had been awarded during his 23
years of service .... along with this letter

It is our great honor to bestow upon you these medals and decorations
your brave father was awarded during his courageous service to these
United States of America. We are deeply sorry for your loss, and for
the loss to this great Nation. On 14 March 2008 we all lost a hero.

They also sent a folded flag with a certificate signed by the Acting Architect
of the Capitol... it states .. This is to certify that the accompanying flag was
flown over the United States Capitol on March 14, 2008. This flag was flown
in memory of your father Ernest E Clifford, beloved father, husband and friend.

They know he took his own life, and yet they still honored him. After last night,
well.. I just can't express what opening that package meant to me. I can't find
the words. I have a little piece.. a little bit more to hang onto...and the timing?
Boggles the mind.

Wow (((Nik))). What an amazing package to receive period, let alone at this time! Such wonderful things for you to have. I have a clear picture in my mind of that flag being flown.

Now, please take to heart the pleas for you to take care of yourself sweetheart. Remember, you have to 'grab that oxygen mask' for yourself first in order to take care of others. It's past time for you to get help for yourself and allow you to rest.

Much love and warm tight hugs. And wouldn't it be nice to yes, sit down and have coffee with Ms. Alffe?

And enjoy that sweet sister of your's.