Simple remembrance of who has died by suicide comes with unique issues & feelings. Whether or not the death of a family member or friend was recent, the holiday season can produce waves of emotions, including sadness, guilt, and even anger. It is not uncommon for survivors to have as much (or more) trouble with the anticipation of the holiday season than the actual day of celebration. Survivors may start to fear the holidays months ahead of time and this fear can worsen as the holidays get closer.

Adina Wrobleski in her article, "Coping with Anniversaries and Holidays," suggests that when a survivor finds her/himself dreading a holiday, she/he should remember that the worst that can happen has already happened. You may be overwhelmed by emotions and tears, but this has happened before. "....You did get through it, and you will again."

Adina Wrobleski also suggests that survivors try something called "challenging." Try to imagine what the day willl be like. Try to make yourself feel the worst you can. Usually when you try to make yourself feel a particular way, you can't. Usually if you tell yourself to - Do your worst, I don't care - it has the effect of strengthening you because you are accepting the fact that you can take what comes."


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SOS Newsletter of Dane County Oct. 04

Thank you for posting that, Alffe. I'm going to have to see what I can do about getting my printer so that it can work wireless/networked to my desktop. It would sure make printing the keep-ables or things I want to keep handy much more convenient .

The last paragraph especially caught my eye, starting with how Adina Wrobleski termed her suggestion: Challenging. The positive perspective on what is bleak works for me! I really like that idea, and am going to try it when I'm tending to dread certain days, i.e., "anniversaries."

Bump because I needed to be reminded.

And they are approaching.......

With this crazy season approaching, I'm doing something different...

I'm packing up my little house and preparing to move back to the city to be close to my sons and graudaughter... and my singing....

All baby steps towards another giant leap...

I moved last year on Dec. 28.... does this mean I am developing a new tradition? Oh God, I sure hope not!

I honestly think it is a much more stressful time for folks in the US because your Thanksgiving is so close to Christmas... at least for us Canadians, having it in Oct. gives us time to breath... and for the rest of the world - they don't have Thanksgiving so its entirely different.

individual hugs for everyone here

Addy
P.S. - thanks for the digging up of old posts Alffeee

((Addy)) You go, girl!! I am happy to read that you are moving close to your sons and your grandchildren. I am working so hard to be close to my nephews but wish that it didn't require so much cash! If I could have a grandchild, what a wonderful thing I'm working toward being able to go to Oxford to spend more time with Owen.

Thank you, Addy, for taking the time to read what I write and to write back to me. I hope that you have safe travels and a blessed holiday-time with your family,
reyn

ah, thanks Reyn... well, let me tell you something else about me - this will be move number 7 in 10 years! my sister (who says very damaging, hurtful things all the time - without realizing it) told me I was a "lost soul"... geesh, she hardly knows me if she says that! What I am is a person trying to grow up and settle down! ha ha....

I'm just lucky to have lots of support from my friends - the networking has been incredible - and with that comes the opportunites!

Anyway.... the move may not happen until the end of the January... I will make the decision as to whether or not to give notice to my landlord this coming Monday or wait one more month or two... all in baby steps.

You can do it, too, Reyn .... yep, anyone can!
xo Addy

Good luck Addy with your future move. Change is refreshing!

Addy, my sister says very hurtful and damaging things! I once tried to tell her how hurtful it feels to me (this last time on my birthday) when she makes certain comments to me and about me and could she try to understand . . . didn't happen.

Wish I could wrap my arms around you, and I know that you would hug me back!