Thank you so much for the story about the elephant in the room David. I'd never heard that before, and I had no idea I'd done something wrong when I posted what I thought was such a cute picture. If my elephant picture upset anyone, please know it was not intentional if it did, I truly do apologise.

After discussion with another SOSer last night, I did a web search and read about the story, but I couldn't find any reference as to why it would be taboo in a forum like this. Thank you for explaining it for me.

In regards to the forum, I too think this is the perfect place for some-one with suicidal thoughts. Who better to offer emotional support than a survivor who is suffering themselves? What better place for some-one to see the pain that suicide causes for their loved ones? I'm not thinking very clearly at the moment, as some of this has left me a bit teary, but I hope that makes sense, and that you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Also David, I am so sorry for the pain that you've endured. :hug: I worked as a nurse until recently, and although it's quite some time since I had worked in an emergency center, I'm pleased to say I never saw anyone treated as badly as you were. I think the way you were spoken to was just dreadful!

Unfortunately I do know how cruel and thoughtless family members can be though, as I've been on the receiving end myself.

Koala my dear lady your pictures have nothing to do with this thread at all


you have not and could not offend anyone.


David:hug:

Hi David ,
You mentioned the views count and I just wanted to explain some of that.

Some members read many of the new posts as they come up, and they always don't have a reply or know what to say.
Some of the views are due to the automated search bots and also guests that may or may not be members.

Just wanted to let you know about that part of it, don't feel discouraged when the views number is high like that.

At first, you dance around the elephant, pretending it’s not there. When you finally acknowledge the elephant’s presence, however, it doesn’t disappear. It’s still sitting there, as big as ever. And you’re still dancing around it, still trying to avoid getting trampled.

Letting go of denial—acknowledging that the elephant is there—is only the first step. After that comes detachment—figuring out how to stop caring so much about the darn elephant. A lot of my problems come from the unending and unsuccessful attempts to make it go away. I’m trying to take the focus off the elephant, and put it on myself and my own needs. When I stop focusing on the elephant, it gets smaller. It will never go away and I know that. But the more I focus on it, the more dominating and damaging it becomes.

In many ways, the elephant’s trunk is more like a vacuum, ready to suck the life out of you if you can’t draw on your own inner strength. For me, right now, I’m trying to protect myself from the elephant in the room. Eventually, I’m hoping that it will shrink into a corner, no longer the center of my attention.

I was driving to Pet’s Mart with Hooper and was thinking today’s my birthday, Mark’s gone, my mom and dad are gone. I want so bad to speak to Mark today, to be a silly brother and sister just one more day. I go to grief counseling but it’s not what I need because we don't talk about suicide. I need to go back to the SOS group, they understand, they’ve been there but it's hard work.

I don’t know if I wrote this or I found it on the net but it’s tucked away in my poetry folder. It speaks volumes to me.

Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never get over it.
Please don't tell me he's in a better place.
He's not here with me.
Please don't say he isn't suffering any more.
I haven't come to terms of why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't tell me how you feel
Unless you've lost someone to suicide.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you like your brother to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just say you're sorry.
Please just say you remember my brother if you do.
Please mention my brother's name.
Please be patient with me when I am sad.
Please just let me cry.

Thank you BJ. I know, that you know. :hug:

Dear BJ

How right you are ,,,,,,,,,accepting the elephant is in the room in the first place, and letting go of the denial begins the help, that is required..

only by talking about our inner pain...can way confront the fear it creates, and the damage it bestows upon us.

I think of my elephant as part of my life,......... and a circus.

At times there are clowns who make me laugh...and at times i don't find them funny at all ..........and humour is the last thing on my mind.

Then there is the Tight rope walker...who gingerly tries to balance his life to get across to safety.

Then the trapeze artist who depends on another individual. 100%.with complete trust to prevent themselves from falling [sometimes i am the catcher other times I'm the one caught] [ sometimes there is a net below other times there is not]

Then there are the jugglers who i don't understand fully and i see as them as the nonsense in my life's circus.....then at times i see their skill for what it is....... a mastery of balancing and coping with what they have ...quite musically alternating numerous tasks at once....[maybe I'm wrong maybe jugglers are the skill full ones in life's circus after all..........even when they drop things they start again]

Next the lion tamer......who with assertiveness and utmost respect for his adversary......wows me with his bravery.....his bravery is tinged at times with reckless abandon....but it makes the life circus interesting viewing.

There are the stilt walkers towering above me looking down upon me, with an air of superiority...and the dwarfs....who look up to me, some smile some frown....

there are many other acts in this circus....some i see and others pass me by ....but they all play a part.........


OH.............I FORGOT THE ELEPHANT?........................[BUT THEN...IT IS ONLY PART OF MY LIFE CIRCUS HOWEVER BIG IT APPEARS ATTIMES]


It all depends on me the Ringmaster.........and where i put the ELEPHANT in my daily show.........he will always be in the show...but not always the star of the show...............[i decided that]

David:grouphug:

There is so much in this to ponder on. So much I want to say, but I am just not able to right now. I still need to digest it. I just don't want it to die away. :grouphug:

dont forget you are the ringmaster in

your

life...circus




David

I like that David, I just wrote it on a sticky note and put it on my computer.
Thanks! :hug: another profound statement to go in your book ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9j_j-cUwKc


bumping this up,,,,,,,

David