As you can see by my Avatar I'm now riding this bloody elephant.


the one in this room is bigger than i thought,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so far 83 views 6 replies [and excluding myself ] FOUR other people have contributed to this thread WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?


Mistiis................although I spoke of one episode..........like you ..I HAVE been there on many occasions............too bloody many too be honest....[ only now i tell no-body how i am feeling]..
Abbie.......your inner courage inspires me much like my other friends BJ.........

Feeling goofy Nik-key was right.....to others a mole hill too you a mountain...problems /feelings/emotions are, exclusive to an individual...who is any one to say they are not worthy of recognition or support..........you are a wonderful woman....don't ever put yourself down again[PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE]


My aim is to master riding this elephant and become a master Mahout.........................but i still need a leg up occasionally

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The elephant in the room!

There's an elephant in the room,

it is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.

And yet we squeeze by with, "how are you's?"

and "i'm fine's."

and a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather.

We talk about our work.

We talk about everything else but --the elephant in the room.

There's an elephant in the room.

We all know it is there.

We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.

It is constantly on our minds.

For you see, it is a very big elephant.

It has hurt us all.

But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.


Oh please, say his name,

oh please, say, _david______ again,

oh please, let's talk about the elephant in the room,

for if we talk about his death, [ or survival]

perhaps we can talk also about his life.

Can i say, _david_____, to you and not have you look away?

For if i cannot, then you are leaving me......

Alone ......

In a room ......

With an elephant.

im still alive .................i think


david









this is not meant to offend but make a serious point.........AND JUST FILL IN THE BLANKS

....love the avatar....much like the one sitting on my mantle. I think the subject is emotionally exhausting. Mental, and emotional barriers, do not come down easily. I, too, fully intend to master that beast, not just for myself, but for others. Will it be easy??? No!!!! Will I need help???? Yes.

There is definately help here to be had. It is true that my association with the people here have stayed my hand more than once. And I do need to read about it. I need to be reminded. I also need to KNOW that I do not struggle ALONE. Somehow, it makes me feel more normal, more human, more accepted. I hope, and pray, that I can help. OK...enough...

Thank you so much for the story about the elephant in the room David. I'd never heard that before, and I had no idea I'd done something wrong when I posted what I thought was such a cute picture. If my elephant picture upset anyone, please know it was not intentional if it did, I truly do apologise.

After discussion with another SOSer last night, I did a web search and read about the story, but I couldn't find any reference as to why it would be taboo in a forum like this. Thank you for explaining it for me.

In regards to the forum, I too think this is the perfect place for some-one with suicidal thoughts. Who better to offer emotional support than a survivor who is suffering themselves? What better place for some-one to see the pain that suicide causes for their loved ones? I'm not thinking very clearly at the moment, as some of this has left me a bit teary, but I hope that makes sense, and that you can understand what I'm trying to say.

Also David, I am so sorry for the pain that you've endured. I worked as a nurse until recently, and although it's quite some time since I had worked in an emergency center, I'm pleased to say I never saw anyone treated as badly as you were. I think the way you were spoken to was just dreadful!

Unfortunately I do know how cruel and thoughtless family members can be though, as I've been on the receiving end myself.

Koala my dear lady your pictures have nothing to do with this thread at all


you have not and could not offend anyone.


David

Hi David ,
You mentioned the views count and I just wanted to explain some of that.

Some members read many of the new posts as they come up, and they always don't have a reply or know what to say.
Some of the views are due to the automated search bots and also guests that may or may not be members.

Just wanted to let you know about that part of it, don't feel discouraged when the views number is high like that.

At first, you dance around the elephant, pretending it’s not there. When you finally acknowledge the elephant’s presence, however, it doesn’t disappear. It’s still sitting there, as big as ever. And you’re still dancing around it, still trying to avoid getting trampled.

Letting go of denial—acknowledging that the elephant is there—is only the first step. After that comes detachment—figuring out how to stop caring so much about the darn elephant. A lot of my problems come from the unending and unsuccessful attempts to make it go away. I’m trying to take the focus off the elephant, and put it on myself and my own needs. When I stop focusing on the elephant, it gets smaller. It will never go away and I know that. But the more I focus on it, the more dominating and damaging it becomes.

In many ways, the elephant’s trunk is more like a vacuum, ready to suck the life out of you if you can’t draw on your own inner strength. For me, right now, I’m trying to protect myself from the elephant in the room. Eventually, I’m hoping that it will shrink into a corner, no longer the center of my attention.

I was driving to Pet’s Mart with Hooper and was thinking today’s my birthday, Mark’s gone, my mom and dad are gone. I want so bad to speak to Mark today, to be a silly brother and sister just one more day. I go to grief counseling but it’s not what I need because we don't talk about suicide. I need to go back to the SOS group, they understand, they’ve been there but it's hard work.

I don’t know if I wrote this or I found it on the net but it’s tucked away in my poetry folder. It speaks volumes to me.

Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never get over it.
Please don't tell me he's in a better place.
He's not here with me.
Please don't say he isn't suffering any more.
I haven't come to terms of why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't tell me how you feel
Unless you've lost someone to suicide.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you like your brother to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just say you're sorry.
Please just say you remember my brother if you do.
Please mention my brother's name.
Please be patient with me when I am sad.
Please just let me cry.

Thank you BJ. I know, that you know.

I feel like i have gotten closer to the light at the end of the tunnel in finding this place here.
And there has to be a place for us to meet, the face of all our fears. someone contemplating suicide is dealing with there own demon . Someone dealing with the suicide of someone thy love is dealing not only with the loss of someone they love but the bitter reality of it being their chose to leave us. the realization that we ....didnt mean enough? and why?
i know that being in the grips of these thoughts for someone depressed is paralyzing being in the grips of your success in ending your life is even more paralyzing because after your pain is gone our pain our scars live on for ever not only do we deal with our demons we now deal with yours.
my brother hung himself from a tree.....the landscape of the world has changed for me forever something i used to love "nature, TRESS"S" .....i can no longer look at with out seeing my brother hanging lifeless or even worse......suffering the end struggling through the end of his life and i put that out there with a band aid on the image as to not be to harsh.. but imagine the ...reality of the movie that repeats over and over of your loved one. that is the gift your depression doesn't let you validate for us.

I don't think your brother had any idea what his act would do to you Colleen...that you would be forever changed. He just wanted his pain to end, not realizing that yours was just beginning.