My goodness (((David))). You always have such wonderful things to say. My sister worked for a pastor for 15 year before she died. He was a true Christian. He lived what he preached and was such a compassionate, caring and loving person! Every church should be blessed to have just these kinds of people minstering.

This is very timely for me to read and I'd like to share a bit about my life during these past 9 months since I've moved "home" (to the small town I was brought up in).

Last February, as I was packing to leave the big city I had called home for the last 20 years, I received a phone call from a friend in the small town I was moving to. She told me that the church I grew up in (United) was in need of an admistrative assistant (fancy word for secretary!).... so I applied and was accepted to begin this new job - 20 hrs a week - right up my alley in terms of the fact that I could bring this office into this century (computer skills and website - that kinda thing).

I really did feel that I had come "home" in the sense that this church was very familiar to me - I was baptised and went through confirmation here - I sang in the choir and as a young teenager, was very influenced by a wonderful minister who understood teens.

The people welcomed me - and every day brought familar faces to my office... they were all thrilled for my Mom who is a very active (albiet quiet) member of their congregation of about 250 (lucky if 50 attend the weekly service, tho!) and happy to see me. I've fallen in love with many of them.

Anyway, long story short, I began to wonder why the secretary of 16 years had quit... as had the custodian. We have 2 ministers - both women - one has been there 7 yrs, the other 2. Within the next two months they BOTH handed in their resignations!

By the end of December, my church will be like yours Alffe... no ministers! I, a newbie, will be the only constant that these people know.

I have seen a horrible disrespect towards both Shelley and Louise - anything they have attempted to do to bring these people to this new century has been ridiculed and stomped on. Our musical leader preaches at our choir practices - against the ministers!! - I had to quit singing... I actually quit going to the services, too because I was becomming too emotionally and politically involved. I stay home on Sundays now.

Last summer a couple from another province wanted to come home next year and be married in our church. Guess what... they're gay.... and this brought on another dilemna for our church (altho the United church has recognized gay marriages - each congregation has to "vote" as to whether or not it will be allowed in their sanctuary). I will not get into a political discussion about this as I know our forum is not the place for this. Both ministers are all for it - BUT... well, you all know what's happening in the US about this... so... we'll see what happens with the vote next month....

Anyway, many things have opened my eyes about Christians... many are, sadly, narrowminded and judgemental. Sigh... I guess I'm judgemental too because I feel I am judging them. I simply think they have been stuck in their stereo-typical ways for so long that they don't know how to open their hearts and minds to the world.

I love my ministers - they are now my friends and will remain my friends when they leave... I know they have done what is right for them. As they say, God works in mysterious ways... and lessons are indeed being learned by me and our congregation. I know I was brought to this church for a reason.

Surely your young minister has been given a gift in your friendship dear Alffe - I am glad she has you to teach her that she can't give up... and in moving on, she is teaching a lesson.

My church will be without a minister as they are very difficult to find in this day and age - especially in our district as they will have to travel to 4 parishes (our churches amalgamated because 3 of them were literally dying out)....

Whew... long boring story, I guess.... but I wanted you to know, dear Alffe... that your minister is not alone. Shelley and Louise have moved on to brighter paths... one is retiring, the other will find her way in life... outside the ministery, perhaps, but always ALWAYS making a difference in the lives they touch.

I really appreciate you posting that Addy...I am very emotional and angry at the treatment she's recieved. Two more Sundays to go and we're out of there...hard for me to go at all but I want her to see a friendly face out there while she's still here.

I'm returning her book The Shack tomorrow..and I've paper cliped a card to the cover, thanking her for all the spiritual leadership she has provided me. I just wish I'd stop crying over it....She is happy, and I'm happy for her.

((Alffe)) I am so sorry you are feeling so much pain in this. It is always hard when a "spiritual guide" leaves us... but I imagine even harder under these conditions. My thoughts are with you

Oh ((((Ms. Alffe)))). I hope your minister is going to a much better place and finding the reward she deserves. And you too! I hope you find a much better and loving church with kind and loving people.

Addy, let's go off and start our own church...and the only prerequisite is we all have to love one another...it sounds so easy.

Hi, Alffe...I'm so sorry to hear about your situation at church - the one place that we should feel safe in. I do understand how you feel. I felt like I finally had my life on the "right path" after a long, long time of searching for the answers (a few years ago). I ran a convent infirmary and that was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot there. After being there 9 years, my mother-in-law became very ill and I took care of her, also. I know it sounds like a lot, and it was, really...but it taught me so much about myself - and God. She died after a few months and, when my last little sister had died, I left the convent and went to work in my church as a pastoral associate - until I was hospitalized several times with the illness that I have now. From that time on it was as if I had the plague or something....and it was an entirely new experience. I don't know if it was because I was hurt or because my eyes had been opened, but I do see the back biting and anger among people there. I hadn't seen that before (or hadn't let myself). This has been the last 5 years and it is frustrating. We have gone to other churches and they're okay but they aren't "home" like ours is. Yes, we do have some very close friends there - a lot of our neighbors go there and my best friends go there. And, yet, it's so hard to overlook the rest of it because I know it's not supposed to be like that. I used to be involved in so many different social groups but I no longer attend any of them just because I don't want to be accused of being involved in ever having said something or taken sides in something that might come up - and I just really don't want to have to answer for something ugly. And it really has gotten amazingly uglier than I would've ever believed! I believe, though, that it's all a "test" of faith because when we're all looking at each other and being mean and spiteful and everything ugly, we aren't being the people that God wants us to be and so, then, all eyes are off of Him....it's crazy. So, please, don't give up. I'm so sorry that you feel so badly, but you are in my prayers.

Thank you HippieChick..I really appreciate your prayers. I love church..we always visit churches when we are traveling. I do understand that being a "guest" in someone elses church is different from being a member...as Addy said, you don't really know what is going on there. But I have always found comfort and felt peaceful in a church...whether it's a small island church in S.C., and huge Chicago or NY city church or a church in Canada so the knot in my stomach this morning as I get ready to go to my own church is very foreign to me. And if this is a "test" of my faith, I afraid I'm failing.

(((Alffe)))...you are not failing....you are grieving. Grief comes in many packages, and can wear many faces. It hurts, but you will grow to be stronger and more tolerant...that is the person that you are. I am sorry this is so difficult. And, as you know, you are in my prayers as well, as, I, too, prepare to go back to church. I will look for God, I will find people.

Alffe, I'm sorry that I sounded so crass last night; I didn't mean "just" a "test" - I meant that sometimes God tests our faith in different ways. I really do understand - I had just come from church when I saw your post. I had dealt with a lot of people last night and had received a lot of bad news about a very, very close friend and it was so unexpected. And yet someone else just seemed to throw it aside as if it were nothing. I know that I fail so, so often and I am so ashamed of that. I pray that I can be better and yet I'm afraid that I won't be because I'm all too human. I know that you are grieving and you are experiencing a huge loss of friendship and, not only that, it's an unjust loss as well. You've had to watch friends persecuted for their faith. I am sorry for that, I am sorry for your hurt feelings, and I am so very sorry that I hurt you, too. Maybe I should just go back to "lurking". I really didn't mean my comment the way it sounded last night. I'm so sorry.