Alffe thank you for sharing Michael's character with us...it makes his name mean so much more now.

Heightened sensitivity, brings with it much sadness, everything around you can become a 'Lassie' film.

I have been on anti-depressants for over 2 years now and i miss CRYING.....why you might ask?

because tears cleanse...they initiate hormones that help release the stress, tears are a visual clue to others that all is not how it should be. I miss that feeling of shedding tears for the world around me, the trauma in life that pains my vision....is now just pain in my heart
Yet i find this new resolve both frustrating ,and at fleeting moments very soothing.
its not easy when you wear your heart on your sleeve....it is more a kin to having no skin on your hands and being surrounded by searing heat.


but without this trait in my make up-...i certainly would not be me. i would not have been capable of reaching out to people that society would rather ignore. I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO READ PEOPLE as clear as i do now, by read i mean, i feel unknown stories about some people often those who need an ear..to listen to them..or a shoulder to cry on...


I will be truthful and tell you at times i am so tired, and weary, about helping others.....then something happens and I'm the first one in to help...............

It is in me to care................my conscience is enormous and would never allow me to be a bystander............the payback of sadness is very hard, but i cant switch off.


David

David, Twinks, Mistis, Alfie and Nik-Key-You all are so wise and you are able to express things so much better than I can. It took me a while to like who I was and am-I couldn't play a piano, I was and still am quiet in most social situations. I just quit therapy after she said that I couldn't change the situation I was living with. I have learned to accept what my ms (I don't want to give it capital letters) has done to my body and my life but to add to this insult I have to live and accept my husband who is controlling in his own way, but supportive in so many ways, who is silent and with whom I feel alone with in a crowd. He is still seeing her, but with the financial crunch and the realization that I just needed to find my own inner peace. Inner peace can be lonely. Thank you all that you guys do and if I left anyone out by name-forgive me. I don't necessarily want a harder skin. Again its that balance issue again.....

Pat (Doxie) and P.S. I think I forgot David and I don't want big ears to think I forgot him.

Pat, I want MORE for you....acceptance is a huge thing and I so admire you for being able to...a lot of people never get where you are now.
Inner peace can be lonely but just hollar out...we are here for you.

I read this post first thing this morning when ((Alffe)) wrote it... but I needed some time to decide how I wanted to reply.

Firstly, I want to thank each of you for sharing.......... I would like to address each of you, but I am a bit overwhelmed at the moment so I hope a big hug and thank you is ok

Alffe, thank you for sharing Michael with us

I too am what the world would call overly sensitive. (and yes I cried at lassie, and I never get through Little house on the prairie without at least a few tears)

I love with all I am. Yes, that makes me hurt with all I am too. But, I would not have it any other way.

If we did not love, we would not grieve. I am grieving to the depth of my soul right now................. but, only because - I loved my Dad with all my heart and soul. I would not trade that love for anything!

I debated if I would share this with you all, I haven’t even shared it with my family. It is very special and personal... but I think I should share it so others can see that it is not only ok to be sensitive, it is a great quality and something I take pride in.

This is parts of a letter I got in the mail Saturday from my younger sister ( The one who recently came for a visit and went to Dad's grave for the first time........( I am leaving out details and somethings too personal, but you will still get the gist as to why I will not even attempt to change.

" You gave me someone I could trust, depend upon, admire and measure myself against. You gave me someone to look up to in a childhood that certainly had none. You are the rock upon which I have rested many times. The rock that has sheltered me always. You gave me a hero.

......Most people see their childhood heroes fall, they get let down. As I have grown older my hero, has only gotten stronger. You Nikki have only become more amazing.

.....Every heartbreak you have endured, every horrible injustice that has happened to you ---- you have come through with dignity and grace. And if possible, even more strength.

........You have kept your heart open and you have loved freely. Regardless of how many times and how deeply that love has hurt you. It is this quality in you Nikki, Above all others that truly makes you the most incredible person I have ever been blessed to know. "
.................................................. ...........

My point in sharing this is not to toot my horn, though I must admit I cried, and hard, when I read it.... My point in sharing it is, you just truly do not know how you impact someone else. I know when she was a child I tried so hard to give her a safe place and someone she could trust. I knew how much it meant to ME to give her that, but I did not know how greatly it effected her.

I have forgiven things, many might not be able to. Even some of my siblings feel they never could, and that I should not have. But I did, and I did it for love. The love I gave and received because I was able to forgive, far supersedes the pains of the past.

Yes, I may be over sensitive.... but who is to say that is a bad thing? Certainly my sis doesn't think so, and neither do I.

Nikki, that letter from your sis is incredible! So sincere and heartfelt.

Love and admiration like that has been earned and is well-deserved.

You and your sis are two very special people. Just wondering, did you get that sensitivity from your dear father?

Thanks for sharing, dear Nikki.

Nikki it's a beautiful letter...I see that compassion runs in your family. You remind me of that old Swedish proverb..."those who wish to sing always find a song". I love the way you sing to us.

Being very sensitive? I think maybe I am too ? But funny thing I dont like to be called that in fact i try to hide that part of me as much as possible. but I know how horrible I feel if /when I make another feel badly or I hurt anothers feelings. I think it is the one thing in the whole world that really bothers me and I hate myself when that happens .I always try to make people smile or laugh. I hate when others around me are hurting or sad and even more hating myself if I am the cause of another saddness or hurt or ill feelings. I will be the one trying to lighten the load or lift the spirits or reach farther then the last one..
But I would never call myself sensitive and I wonder why ? Do I find it is a weakness in me? Why would that be a weakness it should be a plus.
Alffe Mom thanks for sharing Michael .

Yeah I was a Tomboy kinda girl.and hummmm maybe even then that was my way of hiding how sensitive I was / am ????
Yikes I better not think about that to much.
the fabric the fabric....
Thank you to everyone for sharing and talking.
Many Blessings.
PEACE
BMW

Thank you. That mean more to me than you'll ever know.

Going to bump up this old thread just because.....

and bumping it again because it's January. Hugs for the room