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Old 12-12-2008, 05:02 AM #1
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Default The Aftermath of Suicide

If I don't talk about What Happened, Will It still Continue to Bother Me? Can the Pain Ever Go Away on It's Own?

Anything upsetting that you push out of your consicous mind will eventually end up "biting you in the back." Not talking about the suicide or your feelings will not make your pain go away; you may begin to have nightmares, develop migraines, start to drink or do drugs, or even become sick.

In the early stages of grief, however, you may prefer not to think about the suicide of your loved one. You may cope better by trying to put your loss out of your mind for a while. You may even feel worse if you talk about it. If you feel a bit better - or get some respite for a few hours - by going back to work or busying yourself with some task, then go right ahead. This may be normal for you. You may be able to speak about what happened later or when you find someone you're comfortable talking to.

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Touched by Suicide Hope and Healing After Loss

by Michael Myers, M.D. and Carla Fine
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Old 12-12-2008, 12:12 PM #2
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Before Math: ( x + y )2 = x2 + 2xy + y2
After Math(test): cocktail, cigars, beer, and chip (for passing the test)

if life was that way, it would've been easier, wouldn't it??

unfortunately, in life

Before Math: suicide
After Math: Anger, tears, Anger, depression, Anger, (maybe cocktail or two but for the wrong reasons cause we ain't celebrating), headache, maybe drugs, anger, anger, anger, anger, anger...

did I mention that there are ANGER in aftermath??

then maybe..."TALK"

It is so hard for people to talk...all the other ones are easy to do, anger, drinking, depression, drugs, headaches....

but talking...*sigh...

this is an eye opening post that most folks feel deep inside but probably can't "see" it because they are so blinded by the aftermath...

thanks for posting this...

for the room



Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe View Post
If I don't talk about What Happened, Will It still Continue to Bother Me? Can the Pain Ever Go Away on It's Own?

Anything upsetting that you push out of your consicous mind will eventually end up "biting you in the back." Not talking about the suicide or your feelings will not make your pain go away; you may begin to have nightmares, develop migraines, start to drink or do drugs, or even become sick.

In the early stages of grief, however, you may prefer not to think about the suicide of your loved one. You may cope better by trying to put your loss out of your mind for a while. You may even feel worse if you talk about it. If you feel a bit better - or get some respite for a few hours - by going back to work or busying yourself with some task, then go right ahead. This may be normal for you. You may be able to speak about what happened later or when you find someone you're comfortable talking to.

**************
Touched by Suicide Hope and Healing After Loss

by Michael Myers, M.D. and Carla Fine
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Old 12-12-2008, 12:25 PM #3
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I'm so glad you said that Moi...I am constsantly amazed at the number of people who won't/can't/don't talk about it when I'm convinced that it's the only way to heal.
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Old 12-12-2008, 12:47 PM #4
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I know...

two lips....one tongue...voice...

probably the most easily and vastly used mechanic on everyone's body...

the mouth....

talking on the phone, talking about the economy, talking about neighbors, talking about kids...

but TALKING about suicide seem to make our tongue swollen and our lips sealed tight...

the saliva begin to disappear and it feels like we have a big duct tape over our mouths...

because we look for the "Eyes" of others...

the stares of others....when the "S" word is mentioned...

the mouth feels the eyes...because the other person usually speak with their eyes...

then their eyes make us shut our mouths...or vice versa...because we shoot back with our eyes...

so, it's back to: What is your favorite type of coffee

but that goes back to that we are all different people and we have all been taught on "never air dirty laundry"

yes, it's true, I don't care if Paris Hilton wants to sleep with everyone and make tapes out of it...I don't care about that dirty laundry...

but is suicide "dirty laundry?"

perhaps the key is to educate about the word, "suicide" and the types of connotation is carries with it...

just like S*H**T...

if I was to use the word :CARP instead of S*H**T in the beginning,

would it be more acceptable to say ***** instead of CARP and then CARP would BE the bad word here??

I can't help it if I like Richard the Lion Heart but someone insists on calling him D***head....

what IF Richard was used instead of D***head in the beginning...

it's all association and epidermal for people but it's harder to reach deep in and say to ourselves, "it IS, what IT is..."

Carp is still ***** no matter how one spins it...LOLOL

at the end of the day, SUICIDE means the ultimate you know what and there ain't a darn thing anyone can do about it...

so, let's talk about it....

(easier said than done...I know, cause I've found myself liplocked many a times...but it helps to have a safe place to discuss it and opening up...)

OK, off of my soap box, I gotta get going here..

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Old 12-12-2008, 03:30 PM #5
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.....I talked about 'IT' FINALLY!!!!!! I got through....will post more another time.....
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Old 12-13-2008, 04:15 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mistiis View Post
.....I talked about 'IT' FINALLY!!!!!! I got through....will post more another time.....
mistiis,

so proud of you to be able to talk about it...

your courage, bravery, honesty, touch me...

((((BIG HUGS))))
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Old 01-08-2009, 07:24 AM #7
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bumping up....
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