[Alffe]

This bares repeating...


Unfortunately when someone close to us dies by suicide most of the people who provide us support are also suffering. Getting support is crucial to being able to survive this loss ourselves.

"Every member of the family is suffering and wants to be taken care of, not to serve as a caretaker, at this time"

We need to tell our stories repeatedly and people quickly tire of hearing them long before we are tired of telling them.

"Your friends, even those who care the most and have only your well-being at heart, will soon encourage you to put the past behind you. They will tell you it has been three months or six months or whatever arbitrary time limit they believe is appropriate for you to suffer, and it is now time to be over it, but you will go on believing that you will never be over it.

They are not completely wrong. Mourning is a finite process. One day mourning will no longer consume all of your life. However, the length of mourning is up to you, not some preconceived notion that someone else may have."

A good support group will provide you with understanding...and with people who care.

Quotes from Healing After The Suicide of a Loved One by Ann Smolin, C.S.W. and John Guinan, PH.D.
__________________


I attended a support group last night for Survivors of "anything" ...it's a new group and this was their second, my first, meeting. There were five of us there...two counselors. Two men were grieving the loss of their wives..one quite sudden, the other had cared for his wife for two years.
One of the counselors had lost her son to homicide...he was shot three times in our local Burger King last year. The other counselor had lost her mother last year from a sudden heart attack and then there was me.

I learned a lot about how support meetings are supposed to be run..was upfront about what I am wanting to do and they were so helpful..I'll go again next week.

More later..Mr.Alffe is hollaring for his breakfast.

[who moi]

Originally Posted by Alffe

I attended a support group last night for Survivors of "anything" ...it's a new group and this was their second, my first, meeting. There were five of us there...two counselors. Two men were grieving the loss of their wives..one quite sudden, the other had cared for his wife for two years.
One of the counselors had lost her son to homicide...he was shot three times in our local Burger King last year. The other counselor had lost her mother last year from a sudden heart attack and then there was me.

I learned a lot about how support meetings are supposed to be run..was upfront about what I am wanting to do and they were so helpful..I'll go again next week.

More later..Mr.Alffe is hollaring for his breakfast.

Alpho,

to me, what you wrote is worth repeating itself...so I am repeating it for ya...

((((BIG HUGS)))))

[Alffe]

My neighbor told me of a book she reads, one page at a time that helps her in her grieving.....So of course I had to have it...*grin

The introduction has struck such a cord....

"In time, we will be able to feel the spray on our face without a fear of drowning, even to savor the taste of the salt on our lips because, in addition to the poignancy of loss come the rush of love for the one we have lost and perhaps a sense that in the mystery of the universe, we still inhabit that universe together and are tied together in a love that cannot come untied."

"What is essential does not die but clarifies," wrote Thornton Wilder. And again, "The greatest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." Eventually, we will find our way through this particular "valley of the shadow," and while there may always be a tinge of sadness, there will come a sense of our own inner strength and our ability to rejoice in the life we have shared, and to look toward a future in which the loved one, though not physically present, continues to bless us."

Healing After Loss Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief

Author Martha Whitmore Hickman

************************

Going to bed with my heart a little warmer. Hugs for the room.

[Spanish Moss]

my face is "splashed"...my heart is warmed...

[Alffe]

I guess this is my "suicide day"...have a Prevention meeting at noon and another Support meeting this evening.

I hope this noon meeting will bring news of the names of the other survivors from the survey or I may turn into a bee that stings! *grin

And I am thinking that tonight, depending on how it goes, will be my last support meeting with this group. Surviving a suicide makes you such a "strange bedfellow" that I don't want to interfere with the "normal grievers".

I won't need to explain that to those of you who "know".

Hugs for the room.

[who moi]

(((Alpho)))

we get "IT"

[Curious]

Alffe, what do you and everyone else...you first since this is your thread.... think about compiling a list of Support Meeting sites? Actually physical meetings, not online support?

[Alffe]

It's a great idea Curious but it's an ever changing list as groups come and go. It will take time to post it...don't know if it should be stickied...one of my books has pages of them, state by state but it's probably outdated by now.

Suggestions???

[who moi]

Originally Posted by Alffe

It's a great idea Curious but it's an ever changing list as groups come and go. It will take time to post it...don't know if it should be stickied...one of my books has pages of them, state by state but it's probably outdated by now.

Suggestions???

I am wondering if it would be easier if you scan it, Alpho. And send the photos to me or curious and we can upload that as a photo.

And just post that.

And then, modify it as you go. That way, you don't have to make the list or type it out.

Sticking it might be a good idea with a weekly bump??



(if you don't want to scan it, taking pictures of the pages? I know you don't have a digital, but if you mail the photos, we can do the scanning and upload the photos for you. LOLOL)

[Curious]

I can make one post that can be edited as needed and it can be added to the useful links and resources.

I can also check and see if phone numbers are still active. That will help weed them out.

Or if the book has a website...I can check that too.