[Alffe]

The suicide rate for men is four times that of women. One reason may be the frequent inability of men to express their deepest needs and feelings.

Hang tough. Big boys don't cry.. Many little boys have learned from their fathers the manly art of stifling grief. But men and women have reasons to cry.

An example is Ed Miller. Ed's wife of 45 years died unexpectedly. Ed stopped going to visit friends, stopped going anywhere.

A woman befriended him, and he accepted. He invited Sharon over for lunch and talked about the weather, his garden, and the latest book he read. But he never talked about his wife. Ed never cried, never grieved.

Several months passed and Ed still stayed at home. He was tired and wanted to be alone.

One day Sharon dropped by Ed's house to give him a book about grief and loss. He told her he wouldn't read it, but she left it on the table anyway. Three days later she received a phone call. Ed was laughing, crying, and shouting at the same time, "I'm normal! Thank you!"

Grieving is a normal part of life. We have tear ducts for a reason. Crying can release fear, hurt, and despair. It can help unfold rage. It's healthy to cry when you need to; it's OK to let others see you cry. In fact, it may help give them permission to feel their feelings.

What we don't feel can hurt us. It can make us tired, withdrawn, confused. It can kill us. Crying can help cleanse pain from the heart and soul.

Try crying, even - especially- if you don't like it.

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Sharon Fish/Lissa H.Johnson from A Reason to Live author Melody Beattie