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01-09-2009, 06:55 AM | #11 | |||
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You are very brave too, dear (((Barbo))) wish there were more people in this world like you.
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LOVE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER........ . "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?" Thoreau ~ You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. ~ |
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01-09-2009, 07:46 AM | #12 | |||
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I could have written the first part of this, until it got into the other stuff Its sad, funny and weird that in a twisted way I can get comfort from knowing that there are people out there that really knows inside how it feels to be me. Its not a good place to be and I have to say that for me I know it was the praying that got me thought and still is and if you knew me you would know I never believed very much in that sort of thing! Until now that is, but don't worry, I won't go Kookoo and join a cult Anyway I do understand now and get it like I never did before!
I really believe the more people really shared the more it would help everyone! Thanks again, Junie!
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Back injury 1999, PN,DDD, Spinal Stenosis, Arthritis, Chronic pain, Lumbar Fusion 6-06, Pain Worse then Ever Since!10-10-06 Arachnoiditis! CES! now numbness from waist to thighs, bowel, bladder paralysis, self caths, chronic constipation. Left sided weakness! No appetite depression! Bed 22 hrs day! Under care of PM 3 years. Diabetic, lost over 100 lbs was 300+, now 174 lbs. Normal labs, diet controlled! |
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01-09-2009, 09:35 AM | #13 | |||
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((Mistiis)) I love you
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | mistiis (01-09-2009) |
01-09-2009, 09:36 AM | #14 | |||
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I wonder what it means in this mixed up head of mine... that I have never felt shame because Dad took his life. I know in my heart he tried as hard as he could, for as long as he could.
When he took his life last March, I had immense anger. I find now that my family, that I , need him the most, my anger levels are right back. I wonder that the only shame I feel....... is that I recently, think of my strong, brave, highly decorated war hero, Dad ....... as a coward. I don't like these thoughts. It rips me up that I have them. But I will not pretend I don't have them. You can't work through feelings if you hide them. I talk to him a lot. He and God. I question many things, I demand answers even though I know I will never get them. Last night while sitting on my hands, rocking fiercely back and force to try to rid my mind of its thoughts... I told Dad over and over what a coward he was. That is the only shame I feel
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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