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01-26-2009, 04:32 PM | #31 | |||
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Legendary
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Oh gosh. Hey everyone, I didn't feel it was directed at me personally at all. I was just writing my thoughts. I've not been in the same exact situation as you all but I sure have been a full time carer and had people including doctors suggesting I do this and do that... like go for a walk or run for an hour or so before breakfast.
Heck, I couldn't even get to go to the toilet alone, let alone leave the flipping house!!! lol I needed to go to emergency after I had a terrible fall one time and couldn't even go because I had 2 young children (one of them on autism spectrum), I was a single mother , and had absolutely no-one to care for them just to look after myself. Gosh, I understand alrightie. I totally hear you all. I do think that sometimes people say things with the best intentions and I do think there are others (often family or professionals sadly) who just don't think when they say it and without really understanding that there is only 1 of you. It would be nice though if there were 2 of us and that way 1 could stay behind while the other went and got their hair done, or whatever. You all shouldn't worry so much. Try not to read into things that which doesn't exist LOL I didn't take anything that was said before I posted as if directed personally. Believe me. |
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01-26-2009, 05:27 PM | #32 | |||
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Senior Member
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Quote:
It is so hard isn't it? I remember when I had my first TIA stroke, I checked myself out of the hospital as I HAD to be home with my husband. I grabbed his hand and said lets go hun and we left. Security caught up with me in the parking lot trying to convince me I had to stay. They were sweet, but they just didn't get it. The next morning I got a call from social services I know their hearts were in the right place, but at the time I was offended. Now, I am extremely grateful for the assistance they have offered. After my mom became ill, I had another TIA....It is scary when you are on the floor stroking out and your DH can't use the phone, and even if he could.. what good would it do? Who would care for him? I have to say, this is what made me finally see that I had to consider placing him. I can't leave him alone for 2 minutes say nothing about an hour.. so yeah LOVE your idea of two of us giving each other breaks. Now that would work!!! We went to a lawyer today, his guardian ad litem.. for the guardianship hearing. Poor bugger, thought it was some time in the 50's- thought Roosevelt was president- I was his mother- he was 19- he had no children.... acccccccccck!!!!
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01-26-2009, 05:34 PM | #33 | |||
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Senior Member
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You're doing hard stuff Lara. It sure does seem like life isn't always fair.
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01-27-2009, 08:26 PM | #34 | |||
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Senior Member
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Thinking of you Tammy Broken any plates lately?
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******************************************** More Than One Soul Dies In A Suicide . ******************************************** . |
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01-27-2009, 09:20 PM | #35 | |||
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'Thanks' Button Team Community Member T.K.S.
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hi Tammilulu sis
hoping things are better for you today...I love seeing how everyone came and posted and supported you and it just just just warms my heart... news lately have been really getting me down as I am sure others...but coming here and seeing that you are surrounded by love, touches me deeply... I'll add my two cents... I think life is such a thing that it is never dull thus never the same... there might be times in your life that you will be pulled from all directions... during that time, you may only want to vent but NOT get away from the pulls because you feel you can't... there might be times that all you WANT to do is get away...and run away from it all...but you can't because you just can't... and of course there are many other variables and equations and well, there just is... I can see things from all sides, and your current situation is what will dictate you and let you decide what you want to do and listen to. And there will be advices that you may not want to hear at this point but that will be OK... because it has been said and there will be a time that when things settle that what was true then will now be a false and what was said then that you didn't agree with will now be the truth... life's funny that way.... I can remember when my father was so sick and my mom and I were both working multiple jobs and taking care of him and it just felt like the world was going to end... I can remember all I wanted to do was just vent and not hearing what others have to say..I simply just wanted to vent... nevertheless, advices were given that I really didn't wanted to hear at the time and at times it would kind of get on my nerves...but deep inside,I knew it came from a good perspective and from the point of good will.. and later on, when things calmed down and he passed away, those advices became true... You have a love that is grand and you are a wonderful person. I think the people that are pulling you knows that and they KNOW that you will take care of them... perhaps, there will be a time when you will be able to say "NO" to them... maybe it won't be now...maybe it won't be ever...but maybe keep that "NO" in the back of your mind and know that it's OK to say "NO" to them and know that they'll get over it... ((((BIG HUGS))))
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01-28-2009, 04:11 PM | #36 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Oh, thank you all so much for your support…I don’t usually try to give thanks all in one post but here goes…hang on…and slap me up the side of my head if I have forgotten anyone!!
Nikki, I haven’t broken plates yet…not today anyway. You are always in my heart and prayers. I’m so sorry that your husband isn’t present in your life. Craig has moments…that’s, all I’ll call them. His short-term memory is getting worse, nothing at all like your husbands. Barbo, I have a Xanax on broad and also one PK…killer of pain…ha!! Need more…walking to night stand, looking at my options….hmmm…crying pain or just taking care of me pain…the big guns, crying pain. Take one and a muscle relaxer…gulp!! Now let’s see what happens. Drea, thanks for positive energy! Its helps! Mistiis, my spiritual sister, thank you for all you love and caring… Twink…thanks!! Can’t wait to go to the little couple’s workshop with you and your main squeeze… Wren, thank you for your prayers…I do feel all the prayers or I would be stumbling all the time. Doody, thanks for the info on fibro. I have always wondered about the cold…I have this huge tub…takes a long time to fill…we could all get in together. I think I have used it maybe five times since we built the home…10 years…I’ll work on it… Addy, thank you for your gentle hugs… Ewizbeth, I’m so waiting for the weather to warm up…I know it will help. My daughter has taken it upon herself to do my house work…she says he can’t believe how many plates we use… Xienite, we do have a lot in common…except my grandchildren are my daughters dogs…Daisy Mae and Brody…a Pit and a Boxer…they are so wonderful…talk about long tongues…good face washes every time they are here! By the way Pits get a bad rap because their owners have made them angry. Brody, the pit will hide in my closet when we have a thunder storm or fireworks. Enough about the Grandpups. Jaded2nite, my doc made the disicion to come down on the meds. He is giving me three months to be totally be of my, what I call…the killer of pain. He did give me the drug that he would rather me be on so I can’t try to make the transition over. But how do I do it…. Sandy, thanks for popping a Xanax with me…Sandy getting away for us 24/7 care-partners is going to the bathroom with as Craig calls it, the intellectual section of the paper…the funnies. Sabimax, I know that the Neurontin helps however I guess I need to titrate up slowly. My system is sometime very overly sensitive to meds. The Olhipie tells me that I would have been a cheap date…one beer and I would have been out…lol Alffe, I did call the doc and I won’t be able to get in until maybe April…well guess who is looking for a new Rhumo doc? My hands were hurting so badly last night I warmed up what I call my rice bag and just wrapped my hands up in it until it went cold and then warmed it again. Lara, I do get to go to the toilet alone…most of the time. My kids think it is the conference room…teehee. Who gets to be first to go for the hair done stuff? Pick me… CayoKay, thank for the advise on withdrawal of my meds…so how do you do that? Please let me know how to go about? I’m serious…my dear friend. My lil bro…the other day my Olhipie asked me if I wanted to drive a couple counties away and stay in a hotel. I told him the same thing you did…Quote Moi…”there might be times that all you WANT to do is get away...and run away from it all...but you can't because you just can't...” I used to be able to say no to those asking for a favor…what happened to me? I have never done this before…trying to put all your thoughts that helped me on page before because I don’t want to forget anyone…let me know if I forget you?? I love and appreciate all my SOS family…
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My best friends live in my computer.... . Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain “Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo . Gotta love my Olhipie! Dx'd RRMS 1986, SPMS 2004 . Watch my Olhipie Skiing.... . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Alffe (01-28-2009), barbo (01-28-2009), Doody (01-28-2009), mistiis (01-28-2009), SandyC (01-28-2009), Spanish Moss (01-29-2009), Twinkletoes (02-02-2009), who moi (01-28-2009), Xienite (01-29-2009) |
01-28-2009, 04:19 PM | #37 | |||
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Wise Elder
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((((Tammy)))) Love ya!
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. . A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt |
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01-28-2009, 04:52 PM | #38 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Back at ya!!!
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My best friends live in my computer.... . Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain “Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo . Gotta love my Olhipie! Dx'd RRMS 1986, SPMS 2004 . Watch my Olhipie Skiing.... . |
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01-28-2009, 05:01 PM | #39 | |||
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Young Senior Elder Member
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Now tell me the truth Tammi...you worked off a list! Right???
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01-29-2009, 03:13 AM | #40 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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What list....????
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My best friends live in my computer.... . Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain “Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo . Gotta love my Olhipie! Dx'd RRMS 1986, SPMS 2004 . Watch my Olhipie Skiing.... . |
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