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Old 01-23-2009, 04:16 PM #1
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Unhappy Having a hard time....

I didn't want to do this but I'm having a hard time and need support from my online family.

I feel like I'm being pulled to pieces from all my family members. I'm only one person. How can I do this...?

I also need to start to come down from my higher dose of pain meds. They gave me something less powerful but it doesn’t seem to be working as well and I’m a bit impatient. I'm trying but I'm in so much pain. My OBGYN used to say when having my kids…” bite a bullet Tammy”.

I do have a lot more fibro and arthritis pain this year than usual. I'm not on anything for them...taking Aleve. I do take Neurontin but I can't use it during a day when I need to be functional...drive...take care which is almost all the time.

I hate to start a thread like this because I know you all have better things to do. I'm not trying to pull a poor old me...I just am having a hard time.

I love you all and the support you give the Olhipie and me. Take a Xanax he says…guess I will…

Hugs to you all!
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Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain

“Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo


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Old 01-23-2009, 04:31 PM #2
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Oh, Tammi, it takes so much strength to ask for help and support, and I am so glad that you did. We love you so much. And pain is a terrible animal to live with constantly. And, unfortunately, the meds like neurontin, do interfere with our ability to function. And when you have a lot of people depending on you, that becomes a factor. But, there does have to be a balance. Or you will eventually go down, and not be able to help anyone anymore. Yes, take a Xanac when you need to. I know its hard to do, and that you don't want to, but, sometimes, it is just necessary. The stress levels just get to be toooooo much!!!! And we need some extra help and the emotional rest that can come with it. I don't know what meds you are on, so I can't really help there, but please feel free to pm me anytime, and I will offer what I can. I do have some ideas on some natural things that may help you, that I use. Just let me know and we can pm each other about it. Hang in there, and I am sure you will get some more support from your loving family here... leaving you lots and lots of ssss and prayers. BTW, I deal with fibro and arthritis too, as well as back and spine problems, so I do have some understanding of it. luv u bunches dear friend.
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:53 PM #3
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Absolutely tammi...listen to Mistiis...take a xanax...we are here for you. Pain is such a constant companion at times..who needs that kind of companion?!!

Biting the bullet all the time sucks!!
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:04 PM #4
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(((Tamiloo)))

Sounds as if you've got too many things happening at once there. Is there some way that you can postpone decreasing your pain meds at this time... even for a week, so that you aren't feeling edgy and yukky while you're dealing with what's going on with your family members and other things there.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain and sorry you're feeling so low. I hope that you're feeling stronger soon. Rest assured also, that around here no one is going to think you're "trying to pull a poor old me." (quoting yourself ) Naughty tamiloo for thinking we might! LOL You need some rest by the sound of it... any chance of some of that?
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Old 01-23-2009, 07:10 PM #5
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xanax always helps...and great friends and fam that offer kindnesses...
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Suffered with back problems since birth...7 back surgeries to date, the last one being on 5/13/2015. Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Chronic Pain

“Being my sweethearts full-time care partner, I have to remind myself, when some well-meaning friend or relative questions my methods or motives, that I know more than they do because I Live this life 24/7, and they only come for short visits.” Tamiloo


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Gotta love my Olhipie! Dx'd RRMS 1986, SPMS 2004

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Old 01-23-2009, 07:25 PM #6
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Tami

Who decided you needed to come down from your higher doses of pain meds? You or your Doc??

Don't reduce too quickly. You will get sick! I know from experience. I was sick of taking pain meds all the time and decided to stop cold turkey! BIG MISTAKE.

You really need to do a gradual taper. I'm sure you know all this, I just hate to see anyne suffer like I did because I didn't know any better.

I understand wanting to reduce pain meds, however if you are in pain you still need them. Give yourself time to get better. Pain will hamper healing!

Dottie
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Old 01-23-2009, 08:39 PM #7
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Tamiloo, I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time, it sucks, I know. Also fibro, ewww. I am a chronic pain person too, fell on my head and blew out a bunch of disks in my cervical spine and my C-spine has a slight reverse curve. Just another hic-up in this journey called life.

Sounds like you have one hectic life..I remember that, and I cringe as I type this, but I miss it. I was married, raising my 2 grand-buddies, worked full time. Well you know the story, a bunch of work. You do need to take some time out for you though. hard as it may be sometimes.

Im here to listen if you ever need an ear, but hopefully you are just realxing and the day has gotten easier and tomorrow looks brighter.
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Old 01-23-2009, 09:55 PM #8
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Yea Xanax! It can be a life saver. Don't be a hero!
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Old 01-25-2009, 09:24 AM #9
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Quote:
I feel like I'm being pulled to pieces from all my family members. I'm only one person. How can I do this...?
Tammy I could have written that. Care giving is the single hardest job I have ever had to do. Caring for Mom is easier than caring for Lynn in many ways, the most important being that she doesn't have Alzheimer's and knows who I am. She is being grumpy and a bit difficult, but as I keep telling my family, how would you feel if you knew you were dying? Cut her some damn slack.

I was wondering the other day, when I hurt my back lifting her, do you have to do this with your DH? I sure hope not! I can't remember do you have any help coming in to aid you? Mom is being just as stubborn as Lynn about not allowing "out siders" to come in and help her. It makes it so hard on the family, but I imagine they just can't see that. I sure can!

You know I had to smile at your post.... I am thinking you are frustrated with your pain in much the same way I am. It gets in the way of your care giving. I have to laugh when people tell me to take a break, go on vacation, make time for me. In a dream world, this would work... but reality is when you are needed 24/7 there is no room for you. There just isn't.

My baths are my only escape. ((BMW)) sent me some calgon and other goodies... you should have heard me laugh when I opened that box!!! Such a perfect gifty Do you have any thing like you can do to "escape" for a little bit each day? It is such a simple thing, but it does help. I keep waiting for calgon, or a cowboy to take me away

Thinking of you Tammy

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Old 01-25-2009, 01:03 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik-key View Post
I have to laugh when people tell me to take a break, go on vacation, make time for me. In a dream world, this would work... but reality is when you are needed 24/7 there is no room for you. There just isn't.
People tell me this all the time but it's not a reality for me either. First, Jim requires 24/7 care and leaving him for a hour just to get a haircut or get groceries is stressful because I am always worried what if something happens. Plus, I enjoy his company so much that going places without him feels strange. Going out with the girls as I am always told I should do doesn't appeal to me either. I did that back in the day and I guess getting older changes one's perspective about things. Maybe the fact that I almost lost him once plays a part in my thinking, who knows. All I do know is I am OK with the way things are. It is stressful but honestly, sometimes it's all the other family members who stress me more than taking care of Jim. lol There are days I want to just scream "Leave us alone!"
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