Hi Lacey, your post is poignant and spoke to my heart and soul. Hope to *see you here, a compassionate and empathetic forum where I have often found a reason to keep on living.

from my *heart,
reyn

Hi Lacey ... here's a chair for you :sunchair:

I echo what reyn and everyone else said to you... :grouphug:

:sing: Addy

Hello everyone! a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you! :)

Thanks for the chair!

I became unwell, emotionally during my childhood but I won't talk about that just now! I think the way I was became a way of life to me! like I didn't know any different! Always thinking about suicide! to be frank I was constantly being selfish! it was all about me! everything revolved around me and the way I was feeling! (sorry for so many !!!! lol)

I was extremely close to my Mum and very emotionally attached to her, I could never imagine a life without my Mum in it! and then, all of a sudden, she got sick and then died! I had been single for 8 years but coincidentally I finally had met someone just weeks before my Mum got ill!

Something happened inside me and I felt like I was going mad! of course, I harmed myself a real lot over those months and just couldn't cope! Remarkably my new man didn't run a mile, he asked me to marry him! :eek:
I had never been married before..or anywhere close!

After we wed something began to happen to me and I started to realise how much my life had changed..and how, although I had lost my dear precious Mum, whom I think about every single day! I had also gained! a wonderful man who loved me dearly!

How could I contemplate death now? when someone loved me so much? when I knew of the true pain of losing someone dear to me myself?!

Well, I just couldn't could I?! my thinking had changed! after over 30 years of emotional distress and confusion, my way of thinking had finally changed!

I'm not saying I'm 100% a 'normal' minded person now! but, I'm on a much better plane and I'd never dream of harming myself now! or hurting my family!

Besides, I'm really ill and petrified of death now! (there was a time I could never imagine myself saying all this!)

I hope I can be of some help to people here, and if I not, at least a comfort? :)

Happy New Year everyone! :grouphug:

friends long gone
 

when i was growing up my parents' best friends died. the mother died of cancer and about a week before her death the father died from suicide. two orphans resulted who were my best friends. we lost touch 40 yrs ago. i am not sure why i was told as i was 10. was this the role model that gives me my suicidal ideas?

recently read margaret atwood cat's eye. one of the things in the book is time missing. i have noticed that things that are painful later i can't remember. i wonder how much i hide from myself.

my dog keeps me alive. i wish my family would give it the same effort the dog does. it scares me that my dog is nearing the end of his life.

Hi tied and welcome. I love your avatar..but then I love pelicans even though people tell me how dirty they are...I love to watch them dive for fish.

I think a lot of us have "selective" memories...I call it self preservation..some things are too painful to remember so we protect ourselves from them....not sure how healthy that is but if it works...:grouphug:

BUMPING THIS UP


LETS TALK FRANKLY

David

a reminder for David...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRC9N9jZ5fw

:grouphug:

WOW.... :)

What a treasure to find this thread today that I missed out on before. Thanks David for bumping...

I love the metaphor of choices and the way this starts off. Just like we have a choice to go the movies, do we have a choice to end our lives? According to the law - NO. It is illegal, you will get Baker Acted and sent to a hospital. But what about spiritually? What about our families? So many unanswered questions.

Which brings to mind... that presentation I saw a few months ago (the video I posted about the man who survived a 10 foot suicide leap off his window) and that the Suicide Awareness advocates prefer to NOT use the terminology "committed" suicide anymore, which was something i had never heard before... because if you are ending your life, are you "committing" a crime and doing something wrong like self-murder? And what they prefer and what was emphasized is that instead of "committing suicide" you are "dying by suicide." Is this all just a way to be PC (politically correct) or ... is there something there to it? Are you choosing to end your life? Or is the depression/mental illness choosing for you?

You are right Wish..they no longer use the words "committed suicide"
The preferred list in talking about suicide is

Died by suicide
Took his own life
Lost him to depressive illness
Made a bad choice
He couldn't see any options
Couldn't feel our love because of depression
He wasn't able to tell us how bad he felt
He wasn't able to reach out for help
His "emotional" system failed
Died of depression which resulted in suicide


The Self-Study Mannual for Facilitating a Suicide Bereavement Support group is just excellent...view the CD if you get a chance. Or have you?:hug: :hug: