I guess this is where I am now on this journey...

Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One.

"As your pain subsides, and it will, you will find that you have learned a great many things. You now know more about suicide, what comes before it, what comes after it, and how its side effects touch the lives of its survivors for years to come. Through the introspection that accompanies mourning, through contemplation and observation, you have gradually become a student of suicidology. Many survivors find that sharing what they have learned is important to their healing.

A major premise of the self-help movement (which includes survivor groups) is that by sharing your story, experiences, hope and strength with others, you can reinforce your own growth and healing. When you are going through a difficult time, it may seem that you are not making any progress. One day seems like the one that came before it with no respite in sight. When you speak with someone who is newer to the journey than you are, you can see how far you really have come. You are making progress after all. If you can see that you have already made some changes, then you can believe that continued growth is possible."

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from the chapter Helping Others: Using What You Know...by Ann Smolin, C.S.W., and John Guinan, PH.D.

This is an excellent sensitive book and says it far better than I ever could.

((Alffe))

Thank you for this. I am going to take a break but I wanted to make sure you were able to see the episode of House, so I came back … and found this.

I think this is what is so hard for me at this particular time, causing my need for a break. As you sadly know, suicide leaves scars only another survivor can truly understand. I know you do. I know you lost someone you loved ((Michael))as deeply as I loved Dad......and it is why I feel so connected to you

I am not in a good place in my healing, March is looming and the "perfect storm" is brewing. These talks about suicide, - trying to rationalize, the irrational- ......though needed and helpful to some.... are not helping me at the moment. They are forcing more feelings to the surface and making the anger rage. I was feeling I was right back at square one. Reading your post helped me, I was able to reflect on how far I have come.

"If you can see that you have already made some changes, then you can believe that continued growth is possible."

((Alffe)) THANK YOU!!!

Nikki I think you are wise to take a break..you need to nurture yourself as only you can.

I have not directed by neighbor here because like you, it's too early in her grief to benefit from words, words, and more words. When you are suffering as you are.. you just want your heart to stop aching.

Please remember how very much you are loved by all of us. I'm going to pm you my email address so you can reach out if you want to...no pressure from me to do that.

nik, with all these winter storms up there and SNOW in your way..

I have been wondering how it has been affecting you...

I hope the throw up session has lessened and that you are able to see the snow more and more....

maybe one thing to see is that NO two snow flakes are alike....the snow flakes that melted with your father are not the ones you'll be seeing....

each is as it is....in its own beauty along with its own pain....

may your pain melt away...

((Alffe)) thank you so much for your support and for your email address. I may just write you.. so much going on in this head of mine. And I thought this was suppose to get easier! Acccccccck

((Moi)) Damn, but you do have a way with words, a gift The snow, I just can't put to words how it effects me. I still have the same reaction, just as strong. Maybe by next winter it will lessen...

I do know one thing, as traumatic as it is for me, as much as I shake and get sick when it snows.. I will from now on, also think of the words you shared. Thank you for that gift

I have been associated with "flakey, the snowblonde"



"Topic: Using what you know..."

post: what the heckit do I know...

I am dying to know this...if one doesn't know what one knows, how do they use what they don't know?? Anyone knows?? I'll go blow my nose...