This bares repeating...


Unfortunately when someone close to us dies by suicide most of the people who provide us support are also suffering. Getting support is crucial to being able to survive this loss ourselves.

"Every member of the family is suffering and wants to be taken care of, not to serve as a caretaker, at this time"

We need to tell our stories repeatedly and people quickly tire of hearing them long before we are tired of telling them.

"Your friends, even those who care the most and have only your well-being at heart, will soon encourage you to put the past behind you. They will tell you it has been three months or six months or whatever arbitrary time limit they believe is appropriate for you to suffer, and it is now time to be over it, but you will go on believing that you will never be over it.

They are not completely wrong. Mourning is a finite process. One day mourning will no longer consume all of your life. However, the length of mourning is up to you, not some preconceived notion that someone else may have."

A good support group will provide you with understanding...and with people who care.

Quotes from Healing After The Suicide of a Loved One by Ann Smolin, C.S.W. and John Guinan, PH.D.
__________________


I attended a support group last night for Survivors of "anything" ...it's a new group and this was their second, my first, meeting. There were five of us there...two counselors. Two men were grieving the loss of their wives..one quite sudden, the other had cared for his wife for two years.
One of the counselors had lost her son to homicide...he was shot three times in our local Burger King last year. The other counselor had lost her mother last year from a sudden heart attack and then there was me.

I learned a lot about how support meetings are supposed to be run..was upfront about what I am wanting to do and they were so helpful..I'll go again next week.

More later..Mr.Alffe is hollaring for his breakfast.