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Old 02-15-2009, 10:08 PM #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJ View Post
I want to be in this circle, I need to be in this circle. Sibling survivors, the abandoned ones.

I had a dream last night where I tried to commit suicide by hanging myself just like Mark did. I actually dreamed that I felt the pain of the rope on my neck as I started to hang but I decided not to go ahead with it and managed to free myself. I woke up with fingernail marks in my neck trying to remove the imaginary rope. But for Mark the rope was real, it took away his pain. My psych said I’m unable to overcome feelings of guilt and turning the aggression on myself.

I shouldn’t have read that book Alffe, you’re right. But I did and I can’t get these thoughts, those words out of my head.

I’m going to listen to it now Alffe and can’t wait to hear the story about the cow.
I'm so happy to see you back in this circle BJ...we missed you! I'm off to bed but in the morning will send you the cow story. *grin
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:54 PM #12
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Default Dear BJ

Every time you think of that book,try to as if it where a TV program,to change the channel. Think of it as a TV program,and change the channel. Also try to not think of those thoughts that you cannot get out of your head for 15 minutes at least. Those thoughts should decrease in intensity. It could be making steps toward being able to do it in the future. There is allot of hope dear BJ.

All of this is hard. You where dreaming about these things. I grit my teeth in my sleep,so that shows that these things are deeply ingrained in our thoughts.

I have recently tried this changing the channel away from these unpleasant thoughts technique in my mind. I'm working on keeping my thoughts off those disturbing thoughts for 15 minutes.

My counsellor is teaching me this. I write down the worry,or burden on a piece of paper which I save. I mark off the problems that I aggrandized in my thoughts later when they have been taken care of.

I've had some very vivid dreams recently. Two nights in a row I have dreamed about my family members. One night it was unpleasant,and the next night the dreams where pleasant of my family. BF
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Old 02-16-2009, 02:46 PM #13
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did someone ordered some "circle of friends?"

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