BlueMajo

hope your ok today


baby steps...always baby steps

David

Thank you David :hug:

I have been having up and downs all this week.... :mad: Some moments were good, some were nasty... uff... but well yeah, baby steps :)

I hope you are alright ! :hug:

Oh gosh... Im sorry....

I hate myself... I needed to come here and vent...... :mad:

Im feeling blue and mad right now.... ggggrrrrrrr

When Am I going to stop feeling guilty ??? i hate this feeling but I cant stop it... I feel tired of feeling this way....

I can only cry and feel so mad at the same time.....

I dont know how Im going to keep living like this.... argh

One of those times when I hate myself A LOT...

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !!! I want my old life back !!!! I miss it every second !!!!!! :( :( :( :(

Lots of ((((hugs)))) dear Blue. Please take a deep breath dear one. We love you! You are feeling overwhelmed right now. What are you missing from your 'old life?' What do you have in your life right now that you can hold onto? Try to listen to some music.....:hug::hug::hug:ssssss :grouphug:...
remember...'this too shall pass' even when it doesn't feel like it.

Fasten your seatbelt sweetie pie! Life is filled with ups and downs. And it's so hard to live in the present. We have to live...learn...and move on the best we can. :hug:

Mistiis ! :hug: :hug:
The decision of having refractive surgery to correct my vision is what keeps bothering me and keeps me feeling guilty and sad... :( My vision is crap now, and normal glasses cant do anything to correct my vision :( I just keep thinking why, why and why ?



Doody: :hug: Aw, you are so right.... life is a "nasty" roll coaster... worse than the russian mountain !!
Im just praying that I can forgive myself some day...

Thank you :grouphug:

Dear Blue ((((hugs)))) it wasn't your fault that it didn't work. We all make decisions in our life that we end up regretting, at some point. It really is part of life and growing up. We are not perfect. You can't go back and change it. Now is the time to 'take the bull by the horns' so to speak, and pull yourself up by your boot straps. It won't do you any good to keep holding on to the guilt and what ifs. Try to think about the fact that you do have two beautiful eyes that see, even if imperfectly. What can you do? I hope this will help. Keep talking about it. Try to get the anger out of your system, and find ways to cope. I love you dear Blue :hug::hug:sssss

Thank you very much for your words dear Mistiis !!!!! :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

They mean a lot to me. You are so right ! :) I will keep your post down my pillow for everytime I feel guilty and sad :)

Thanks. I love ya !

Ugh, hate to be pest.... I hate to need to write in this thread again.... I hate to bother you again with my problems.... Just, dont loose your time reading... you know me, you already know my problems... argh, Im mad with me as I cant control my mood or my feelings and Im blue again.... :mad: :(

I needed to type, type and type....

Today is one of those days when I feel extremely lonely.... One of those days when I cant stop thinking about my past.... I feel extremely melancoholic (spell ?) when I remember my grandpa... when we used to play in the patio....

When I was younger, I had lots of illusions.... dreams... Now, I only have the reality... I have done several mistakes in my life... If I could, I would change probably everything in my life, or, almost everything... I just, dont know, it's like, I really hate myself... Im tired of myself and everytime I try to do something to change, I fail or end even worse...

I feel like my parents are tired of the way I see life...

It's been a long while since I felt God's power for the last time... :(

I even hate to cry because my eyes feel terrible later on, but, I cant stop... I dont know where all this tears come from... :o

Sometimes I feel people doesnt take me seriously...

I dont have any motivation left.... at least not for today... I hope tomorrow will be better or at least different but at the same time, I feel fear of tomorrow...

I will close here... Im really rambling I guess... :o :rolleyes:

I feel confused now.... blah.... :(

:hug::hug::hug:sssss for my dear sweet blue...it's ok to write about how you feel. That's what we are here for. You need to vent your feelings and not stuff them all inside where they can make you sick. It takes time to heal. The loss of the sight as you once had it is a loss, and you will grieve over it. That is normal. Grief and the expression of it is normal, and healthy. I love you Blue, keep the Faith, talk to God, He will respond to your deep yearning. I can promise you that....:hug: :) :grouphug: Smile, God loves you, and so do we, just like you are....