[sadness]

Default 2 years is a lifetime
2 years is a lifetime, and yet somehow its just a blink of an eye. So quick and so long...all at the same time.

Its been 2 years since my cousin ended his own life, at 16 years old. Brilliant, talented, on broadway and in movies... his sports statistics remain on the internet, everywhere. A straight A student. And so deeply troubled.

I feel guilt sometimes, I attempted suicide myself for the first time at 14. Had I been older, I may have suceeded. I survived my attempts, I took control of my life. I wish he had the chance.

So, 2 years later I sit here, with a heavy heart and a hole in my gut. Thinking of a child whose smile lit up the room and whose abscence will never be filled. It doesnt get easier, this loss, it just hurts differently.

Sleep tight little boy in the dinosaur suit, know you are loved and missed.
B

BTW, this is a repost from the other board

[Curious]

(((((sadness))))

i am so sorry that suicide has entered your life in so many ways. i am sorry for your pain.

your cousin sounds like he was a wonderful young man.

welcome to neurotalk sadness. here on sos you will find lots of support. there are wonderful articles posted too

[Alffe]

Sadness I am so sorry for the choice your cousin made. Those that are left behind when a loved one completes suicide, are forever changed. Two years isn't really very long on the grief road and the holidays find all of us struggling with guilt feelings and just the pain of those "empty chairs" around the table.

Our son Michael killed himself in January of 1990 and there are still tears after all the years.....there are however, wonderful memories and we can still "hear" his big booming laugh.

Your counsin sounds like a wonderful guy and I can tell that you love him still.

(((warm hugs))) We'd love to hear more about him...his name? More hugs.

[Doody]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And yes, it's true. The pain, it's like it goes through stages of change. It becomes somewhat less, and different, but never quite goes away. It does become more manageable, though, and you will survive. You already have. Hugs.