I made it through another birthday, and it was hard,but I did it! Without harming myself in anyway! My attempts were usually on my birthday every year, and some inbetween! But I wanted those who know, to know that I made it through yesterday safely!

oh Justice that is so good to hear.

happy belated birthday

Justice, that's very good news indeed.
Happy belated Birthday to you and many happy returns of the day.
It sounds as if you're doing something very right. Take care of yourself there.

I tried halfheartedly when I was 16 or so with my Trim Trio. I didn't draw blood even. What a dolt. I tried again when I was 44 and not halfheartedly. I stabbed myself right where I thought my heart should be. It wasn't. I was amazed that I didn't hit a single organ except my liver and they didn't even put any stitches in it. I lost more blood than I give at blood donations! They messed me up more with an old-fashioned laproscopy from sternum to just below my belly-button. I recuperated from that in a looney bin in a hospital. It was not a vacation. I worked hard at recovering from that. It was a dark place I'd never been in before and don't expect to be in again. I didn't want to hurt myself, I wanted the merry-go-round to stop. What worked for me was allowing myself to take no further attempts until I really wanted to die but then that would be alright. It was like a bottle of scotch for special occasions. Nothing was special enough.

This thread makes me very sad. I too have tried to take my own life. I don't talk about it much as I have a very difficult time just thinking about it.

I don't think it is a coward's way out either as someone mentioned. Whoever would say that has no idea what kind of pain a person is experiencing to even think about doing something like this let alone following through with it.

I have two dogs and they are keeping me on this earth. I know that sounds odd but there were days that only my dogs were able to get me to smile. They do not judge or say nasty things. They don't care if I'm too thin or too fat. They don't say nasty things about me behind my back. I have learned that people can be very cruel, uncaring and two faced. That combined with chronic illness can just push anyone over the edge.

I hope I never fall into that black hole again.

dearest dearhearts
-
I am not for certain but I am sure of this -we have all been very depressed,
outta of blue sky - suddenly-I hear my self doubts scream -you have no purpose in your life - why are you stil here?
l have thoughts about -life... we try to measure up and always fall short of the goal -no matter what...the voices that replay in our minds.
the mirror of the reflecting hurtful past.
some of the greattest hearts of our time - have only become great, because of heart break and loose -

so what I do is -

Take out the trash -evn if it sneaks back in your colllection of thoughts.
Do away with all the old repeat messages, negative messages you were given about yourself.
The strangest thing is to replay them is easier some days,when we hate ourselves ~~
although sometimes on a sunny day -suddenly in our minds a dark cloud comes overhead with a 100 percent chance of - a dark night of the soul -on the way - on those nights- do not allow yourself to be alone...

If someone has told you that you are worthless, undeserving, dense or unattractive, that is their voice - screaming out their hurts clawing out to hurt you or anyone that happens to be in the area.

No one has a right to judge you or belittle you. especially ourselves!
We are all struggling to get by in this world, and no one else has all the answers. Honor your own truth. In your own heart, you know who you are . . . don't let another take that power away from you. Love yourself.

I believe in GOD -and GOD has a purpose for our lives -even if we not realize what it is...
I go through this weekly - and I tell myself and others I love- I'm sorry Forgive Yourself . . . and Move On.
Okay . . . so maybe you/ and I did screw up on a few things, maybe even on most things. Some of us have to learn the hard way. There are really no failures or mistakes, just opportunities for growth. Usually something good does come out of our mistakes. So learn from them, don't repeat them, forgive yourself, and move on.
luv,

You, go! One day at a time, one day at a time...

Hi am Ella i have tired to kill myself a few time before i think about it all the time
My dad died in September last year he killed himself ...its hard to deal with some times i wish i could join him

I tried to commit suicide 4 times since the age of 16. the last attempt being oct 31 2007 i remember everything before i feel to the ground than i just saw rainbow colors and i was happy thinking this was going to be it the pain and suffering were over. but than i woke up in icu with a bunch of tubes down my mouth and cried because i was unsuccessful they gave me a 25% chance to live and it hurt my family so much especially my kids than i was 302ed to an impatient program against my will which was like a prison for a week there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about it sincerlly the sad on (Denise)

I took about every pill I could find which was a lot of pills. I was in a coma for 3 days. I have yet been forgiven after 31/2 years. By my huband and 3 adult kids. I would love to just get in our car and leave and start a new life somewhere else. So I wouldn't be judge any more every single minute of my life.